to feel humiliated by mums leaving pub tables in a state

[Servernotslave]

I’m a waitress and today I felt so demoralised by the state the the table was left in by a group of 4 mums out for a £6.99 sandwich meal deal in the chain pub I work in; High chairs left caked in food, the floor covered in rice and grated cheese and other snacks, used wet wipes all over the table but not used to clean up even a tiny bit.

My children are 11&12 now but I never would have left a table like that, I’d have asked for a dustpan or if they offered to clean it I’d have left a tip and apologised.

I’m overworked and underpaid like a lot of jobs, I used to be a buyer in London but following a shit divorce i waitress locally because it currently fits in with the kids. I’m a smiley person and do my best to give really good service and go the extra mile however I couldn’t hide my disdain today and noticed one of the women had left her bank card on the floor, I ran out of to the car park to hand it back and said “Whilst I was picking your food off the floor I found this”.
She said thanks but tbh I wish I’d just left it behind bar so she would be inconvenienced collecting it- it’s so unlike me to think like this.

It took me 15 minutes to make the table presentable again whilst I also had food to run and other customers to serve- 25 other tables actually! I’m really questioning how a group of mums with toddlers made me feel so worthless.

Another table had left quavers all over the windowsill and another table had let their kids snap crayons everywhere.

It’s normally a nice pub with a great regular clientele but now I’m just dreading the build up to Christmas if it’s going to be like this every shift as more mums pile for get togethers and give no thought to how it feels to pick up mess like this in front of other customers.

AIBU to expect people to have a bit more decorum or is it my job unconditionally?

Thanks so much for the replies, I really appreciate the opportunity to consider all viewpoints and heartened that the majority recognise why it felt shit and take on board that it’s not for me to feel degraded/ humiliated by their actions.

I have often been tempted to hand the customer the dustpan but I've been too scared of ending up with a subsequent shit trip advisor review where ultimately I would have to explain myself and the messy person would end up with an apology voucher.

I’ve just had a super shitty day and had a moan and genuinely you’ve made me feel better. Thank you.

I did some waiting on tables in my student days. The groups of posh, entitled mummies were always the worst customers. They allowed their kids to trash the place, made no attempt to tidy up after them and never, ever tipped the staff who had to sort out their mess.

In the end we stopped accepting bookings for kids’ parties as it just wasn’t worth the hassle for the tiny spend-per-head.

YANBU, OP, some people are disgusting and selfish.

Leaving anywhere in a state, or littering and leaving rubbish in your wake for someone else to clean up is one of the things that makes me extremely angry. People who do this rank somewhere below pond life, but rest assured it says so much more about them and their values than it does you and yours.

I would have binned her bank card, without a doubt.

People can be vile, I wouldn’t dream of leaving a table in a state. Another pet hate of mine is leaving their crap on a train when they get off. Gross banana skins and empty drink cans

The few times I’ve taken toddler out to eat there has been a mess left. However I do try and pick the food up from the floor, etc and I always leave a decent tipis way of apology.

Tip not tipis 😬

YANBU OP it is 100% humiliating. DC works in a cinema. People urinate in cups/bottles when watching the film and then leave them there. I can’t get over it.

Were they loud and intrusive to other diners as well? I live in a fairly prosperous area and the entitlement factor is horrible.

It's the same where I live. And the posher or more "alternative" the family are, the worse they seem to be.

If a family turn up with kids called Tarquin and Persephone, we drink up and leave. The woman who changed her baby's nappy on a pub table, next to people eating their Sunday lunch, had a Crispian and a Primrose. And she didn't wash her hands afterwards!

I would be so embarrassed about leaving a table like this, especially if I ever intended to go back there. I always wipe the table, pick up anything off the floor and stack the plates.

The worst I've seen is at soft play centers. The state of the tables! Once, at the table next to us were two mums with about five DC. The DC would open a packet of crisps or choc/sweets, eat it, and then just drop the empty packet on the floor. One had half a piece of cake, didn't want the rest and just dropped it on the floor. The mums didn't say a word, just smiled at their DC. There was so much rubbish it was spreading to under our table! I actually told the mum a few times that her DD had dropped something on the floor and could she please pick it up.

Some people are so bloody entitled it makes me see red.

YANBU. Some people are pure filth. Makes you wonder what their house looks like. I would never ever leave anywhere like that in a shit state, and would always clear after myself. They should be ashamed of themselves.

I've just come in from my local supermarket where I walked down one aisle and there was a pack of crisps on the floor. I picked it up and put it back on the right shelf. I don't think there's any reason why the person who knocked it off couldn't have done the same (and please don't say SEN, it's possible, but laziness is more likely).

Years ago I worked in a library and I hated hated hated Saturdays when the entitled yummy mummies came in with their spoilt kids and let them pull all the books off the shelves and made no effort to put them back. They'd probably argue they'd have put them back in the wrong order, which is probably true in parts, but some of the kids' books went in any old order so all they needed to do was pick them up.

I feel for the OP, I agree with the person above who said you were the better person, and I hope those reading this who usually make a mess will consider tidying up after themselves next time.

Like a lot of you have said, if they apologised and offered to clean up I’d be the first to say “no, don’t worry, you’ve got your hands full enough!” It’s the lack of acknowledgement and entitlement that led me to feel like I was a bit of nobody.

The thing I miss about working in an office is someone asking my opinion and valuing my contribution. The way I get treated in the pub is a world away but the hours and switch off time once I’m home suits my current situation. I think there are an ignorant few people that view low paid jobs being occupied by people with no ambition/ achievements that they aren’t worth striking up a conversation with or invisible to apply the usual basic manners to. It’s an eye opener for sure!

There are some people who really do leave an awful mess. I've waitressed and some tables and some people are just rank.

That said, I think you kind of have to have good procedures on how to deal with things. People won't be able to scrape food off the floor themselves if a toddler has flung it, nor can they really help it if their child is accidentally sick, or have the tools to clean it- so having gloves, a bucket/mop/cleaning implements and so on is important. I had a child be sick at a table once and it was awful, I was trying to help them clean it but they didn't seem to have the right things to deal with it, just crappy napkins. So, I think having good cleaning products, a dust pan and brush and gloves makes it all much less ugh for the cleaner.

In this example above, I really don't think wet wipes should be used to clean a table. It's nice of people to make a gesture towards cleaning the floor if terrible, or the table, but it doesn't actually clean anything. There are often too few servers as well, I watched one poor woman trying to clean in John Lewis (so not bargain basement prices) recently- she simply couldn't get around the tables quick enough, even though customers were expected to clear their trays, there were older people who couldn't carry them and all the tables needed a proper clean, but there just wasn't enough staff to do it.

katseyes7 My god, reading some of the arrogant and patronising comments on this thread, l can completely understand why people leave tables in that condition...

What?

There is no need to behave, or allow your children to behave, as if it's a Chimpanzees Tea Party when you are out. Behaving like a decent, civilised human being isn't difficult.

on a similar vein I am amazed at a) the mess people can make on a flight and b) that they are prepared to get up and leave it! newspapers sweet wrappers drinks cups pillows blankets all screwed up and dumped on the floor. I mean I get that things get dropped but srely you make some effort to pick them up and if too late for the rubbish run put them neatly on the seats.

I’m not a tidy person by any means, but I have no idea how some people manage to make that level of mess. It’s like a tornado has ripped through the table.

I absolutely detest this. I cannot see it is any more OPs job to clean up enormous mess than it is the job of cleaners in schools to pick up mess which has been abandoned by those who should have binned it.

When going out with kids I try to ensure nothing is left on the floor to get ground in and that any packets of stuff we have brought ourselves (like wee baby crisps - that kind of thing) get taken away by us. Any smears or spills we clean up. I recall a waitress thanking me when I picked up fallen chips and telling me about how they often had nappies left lying on or under tables. Once the nappy was dirty and not wrapped up.

If everyone just tidied up a little after them environments would generally be more pleasant

Nothing arrogant about expecting parents not to leave a shit storn on and under a table for someone else to clean up.

Unfortunately it is more common now. Even those with kids clearly 8, 9yr olds leave food all over the floor. I mean what child that age drops food everywhere and isnt told to pick it up?

Never left a mess of wipes or food on the tabke or floor anywhere i took the kids when younger. I would be too mortified there is no need. I always asked for a brush or cloth if they made a mess.

Best one i remember is the mum whose 8yr old child did this and ran off and wouldnt come back to pick up thier mess. Mum was embarassed and mad so asked a staff member to tell them to come back which they did (cos it wasnt mum) and she handed them the handheld hoover the staff member had brought out and stood over her while she cleaned up😁 Staff also told her it wasnt her job to clean up the totally unecessary mess she had made.
She never made a mess again (regular customers)

BTW the staff dont feel humiliated just disgusted at how lazy and filthy people are and you can bet 'those' parents ears are burning all the way home.😉

That is vile 🤬

I always clean up after my toddler as best as I can and if the carpet looks like it might need a hoover then I leave a bigger tip and apologise. I put all the mess into a nappy bag and put it in a bin.

@RedDogsBeg l worded that badly. What l meant was that some of the posters on here seem so entitled and arrogant that it doesn't surprise me at the state they leave tables in. My bad.

So yanbu

Always cleared up the table when ours were young. Picked big bits of the floor, and have asked for a dustpan and brush a few times. Only once did the waitress actually bring it though.

A quick tidy up and a bigger tip means the staff is happy to see you come back.

Slightly off subject...we flew this summer, the state some people left their seat area was shocking!!

When my children were little, we went to each other’s houses for coffee. Does this not happen now?