To ask if you can be attractive and fat?

[Needinghonestynow]

I am pretty overweight at the moment. I just cannot seem to stick to a diet for any length of time, have a Fitbit which has helped a bit in terms of daily activity but I know it’s mostly about food. I’m very lonely so eat.

I feel so ugly. I have nice hair, eyes, teeth, but it feels I am just drowned in fat

Can you be attractive and overweight?

On a one-on-on basis individuals can and obviously do find chubby/fat/obese and everything in between attractive. Society in general I'm afraid tells us that slim = attractive.

Well of course. Attraction/attractiveness is nothing to do with how much your percentage of body fat is.

It's about how you feel about yourself, how comfortable you are in your own skin, your joy for life that shines out.

focus on personal happiness, doing things that bring you joy and contentment, appreciate your body by nurturing it and giving it what it needs.

Do you want to say how tall you are and how much you weigh. You don't have to but you may be being over critical.

I think it is possible to be attractive and of a larger size. I also think negative talk about how awful one looks becomes a self- fulfilling prophecy.

Start every day by telling yourself how beautiful you are, get some positive self talking going.

Yes of course you can!

The most attractive thing about anyone is a smile and a confident air (even if you have to fake both to start with.

Dress well, have good hair and a big smile and the world will feel better.

Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. Someone is always attractive to someone, overweight or underweight or otherwise. Confidence is everything I think.

Well, there is a range of attractiveness amongst all weights. If you have always had nice eyes and great hair you always will have.

But you don’t feel ‘right’. I’m the same, I feel my body is not at its best or how it is designed to be (I am naturally of chunky athletic build, not slender, so not aspiring to any ‘ideal fantasy’) because I have a stone or stone and a half more than feels about right.

I need to put myself into a more structured eating / activity / leisure routine. Then it will sort itself out.

Maybe you are starting from the wrong direction. Sorry you are so lonely at present. Becoming a self-deprecating hermit won’t help. Sending and

I weigh 13 stone 11 lbs but I am only 5 foot exactly.

Yes of course. My friend is genuinely stunning, gorgeous face, eyes, hair and style. She is a size 20. Her boyfriend is slim and very attractive too.

I am slim but just 'ok' looking next to her!

YES but dress well worse thing fat people do is squeeze themselves into clothes that are too small and don't fit. Riding up and spilling out of them making them look fatter than they are

Honestly, I think it depends. You can be healthy and fat, have good skin, good hair and lots of energy. If you also dress well and smile at the world, then of course you can be attractive.

However if you’re fat and unhealthy, day from drinking too much, with a bloated face, bad skin, don’t bother looking after your hair or clothes and just shuffle your way through life, then no, not attractive. Attitude is key!

I think for the most part, yes. You do not need to be in the normal weight range to be attractive.

I am far fatter than anyone has any right to be and I'm struggling to sort it out atm. I'm sure I will once things get a little closer to my normal (on mat leave with 5mth old) but even that would not be as slim as most would want to be.

I've always been bigger than most but my OH thinks I'm attractive and I'm inclined to believe him. I'm not everyone's cup of tea but no one is. He'd say he's not attractive but I know how handsome he is. I've definitely done well for myself with him.

I just want to be happy in my skin. If you don't feel attractive, it doesn't mean you're not, but it's hard to project your best self if you're feeling shit about yourself.

If you want to lose weight to feel more comfortable then maybe start with small changes, just being more mindful of the decisions you make.

Weighing yourself weekly is useful just to keep in touch with reality. If you happen to lose weight then it's a good motivator.

Take care

It's all about how you feel. I have recently lost weight and feel much healthier and more attractive. If you don't feel good then it's pretty irrelevant how other people see you. I know overweight people who seem to ooze confidence and come across as very attractive. I know others who look miserable and unhealthy (sorry to be blunt). Just in case you're interested I lost weight using the 16:8 diet. I eat what I want for 8 hours and fast for 16 hours every day. It's changed my life. My appetite has changed for the first time in my life. Its very easy to stick to and I felt like the weight fell off. I don't count calories or fat, just try and eat a balanced diet including treats.

I’ve tried so much now sally I’ve lost faith in myself

@Georgiaposy I've had this too! an overweight and stunning friend. I was very slim, but she got the attention from the best looking men

Of course you can be attractive. You probably are but don’t believe it.

Your weight is a serious issue because it undermines your confidence and stops you feeling attractive. It’s also a health risk going forward.

I,think,if you lose weight you’d start feeling beautiful again. Maybe some support via slimming world might help?

This is what I have learnt as a size 16 woman -
You can look lovely whatever your size if you dress nicely and have nice hair etc - by which I don't mean spend a fortune and hours of time but I mean be clean, keep your hair trimmed and healthy, choose clothes that fit in nice fabrics.

You WILL be sexually attractive to some men but not all. Many men prefer big boobs and bums, if you get on a dating site they will find you!
If you believe you are unattractive you will project that to the world which will further reinforce that belief.
Also - being heavy is uncomfortable, limiting and feels unhealthy, so it's always a good idea to aim to lose weight for health reasons if you are significantly overweight as I am.

Of course! I am thin now but I had no problems pulling as a 14 stone student. My main tip would be to ignore whatever is the 'in' style of dressing and always dress in a way that works for your body shape.

I am a size 18/20 (5ft7ish) at the moment and have had the most attention, compliments and even men talking to me and chatting me up in random places than I have ever had in my entire life.

One male friend said it was because once I got in to my 30s my aura changed a bit and "you're more confident in your own skin" 🤷🏼‍♀️

I also think it's because older men are more likely to want to know a person, are comfortable with liking bigger women too, than just going with the "ewww she's fat" crowd like younger guys.

(Also for anyone about to come fat bashing on this thread - unless you can run 10ks and half marathons - like I can! You can fuck off 😉)

OP, if you have some money saved, have you thought about a personal shopper experience, maybe in a department store. Hit a makeup counter for a makeover too if you fancy it.You'll get dressed in lovely clothes that are suitable from day to day and will get a great confidence boost. Confidence is attractive!!!
Follow some body posi people on instagram too for some inspiration.

When Nigella Lawson was a size 16, she had more of a 'bounteous' air than a 'fat and depressed' air. Taking into account your nice hair, eyes and teeth, I think you could follow in her jaunty footsteps.

Really sorry, but I don’t think so.

Source: am fat

Fuck yes!

I'm currently a size 22 AND bald (thank you chemo) and goddamn it am fantastic

Come on @Needinghonestynow you can do this. Live in the now whilst you work towards a healthier, happier future.

Don't waste time hiding or camouflaging like I have for the past 15yrs. Shame it takes a kick up the arse health scare to put on those clothes that have sat in my wardrobe being passed over because I felt 'too heavy'

I wish I was fat... But instead I'm flabby, saggy and varicose-veiny

I'm 41 going on 60.

So stop moaning, no matter how fed up you might feel about how you look, at least you're not as repulsive as me.

Yes without a doubt. I know many really attractive beautiful sexy women who are overweight. Some are very overweight.
It is down to confidence and how you feel about yourself. Happiness magnifies beauty.
You sound lovely btw.