To ask if you can be attractive and fat?

[Needinghonestynow]

I am pretty overweight at the moment. I just cannot seem to stick to a diet for any length of time, have a Fitbit which has helped a bit in terms of daily activity but I know it’s mostly about food. I’m very lonely so eat.

I feel so ugly. I have nice hair, eyes, teeth, but it feels I am just drowned in fat

Can you be attractive and overweight?

OP, I'm the same height and 2 stone more than you. I'm very attractive and dh thinks I'm utterly gorgeous.

It's a head problem, not an ass problem.

My most beautiful friend is overweight. She has a gorgeous, lively face. I am slim. But she is more beautiful that I am.

@BogstandardBelle - I'm a plus size model and we aren't all like that, I'm a size 16 and 5ft 10

Yes you definitely can

I think that genuine people are attractive towards personality and will see beyond the outside. That might sound simplistic but a beautiful personality will get you further in life than a beautiful body. You have the worst of both worlds at present because you are overweight and unhappy and that means the weight will probably get worse. Concentrate on doing things that make you happy and work on your self esteem and you may find the weight drops naturally because you are busier and happier. Don't spend too much time alone, join a club/church/volunteering opportunity/evening class and see what happens.
FWIW I was an overweight child and mum put me on every diet going from powders to eggs/cabbage soup/grapefruit/WW/SW/Atkins, you name it, I did it as a child/young adult. It has totally wrecked my metabolism so now I just live with myself as I am. My husband is a beanpole and has to eat and eat to maintain his weight. My 2 daughters are tall and slim and seem to share their dads metabolism. My DH does all the shopping/cooking and feeds us a pretty healthy diet.

The woman I've known who has been beating them off with a stick was a size 24.
Its not a persons weight its their confidence level.

There is a certain level of biological programming to favour women who look healthy. Whilst the weight threshold varies in different societies and times, it might explain why carrying too much weight is seen at a wider level as being unattractive.

Whilst I agree that being slim aids attractiveness ie a person with an average face appears more attractive if a size 10 than a 16. However there a plenty of bigger people who have beautiful faces regardless of their weight. Nigella Lawson, Christina Hendricks, Ashleigh Graham, Pierce Bronsons wife etc.

NotaMan - yes you're right, it is a preference for some people, but I also think many people are less fussed about weight than 'society' expects them to be. There will be different qualities they find attractive and the weight won't necessarily be a factor.

Yes.

Robyn Lawley

Not everyone can be confident or project an outwardly confident image. I am sure we know of superconfident vivacious people whose personality attracts men like bees to honey whatever their shape but how many people, of whichever size, fall into that category?

Most of us are just normal Joe Bloggs kind of people, not a human magnet.

Yes, I am , but it has taken me ages to think that- including feeling disgusting when I was thin. I think the key is you feel attractive when you are happy- so try to make yourself happy

Health and confidence and good grooming are attractive at any size.

I think one of the best things to do is get some regular exercise of some kind. Not to make you thinner, but to make you happier and healthier and more confident.

I exercise a fair bit and I'm still porky, because I eat like a pig. But goddam it I do look good.

Absolutely you can. I have had friends who have been overweight but look absolutely lovely. Everyone has some issue. For me, I hate my pot belly, my scraggy neck especially but I try hard and focus on the things I like about myself. I also believe how you are as a person makes a difference. Some people are very slim and beautiful but are horrible people and their ugliness on the inside taints their beauty. Some people are not instantly attractive or beautiful but are so beautiful from the inside that it shines through.

Of course you can OP. I see more normal sized men with overweight women than the other way around.

@Needinghonestynow some men find slim attractive and others find chubby or obese attractive
Maybe too much information but you just have to look at porn to see the variety of what does it for men ☺️

I've just got down to slightly lower than your weight. I'm 5'3".

Ive just got my face shape back (I am quite beautiful) and my waist. Also my neck shape is better and my clavicles are showing.

That's the difference, I think, how you carry it.

Before that I had no shape. So I dont think that I was physically appealing.

I was also pre-diabetic, thank god, I was having symptoms so got tested.

Break the loneliness. Plan ahead to how you can do that. I keep very busy.

I was sick of seeing clothes that I couldn't wear, so that was part of my motivation.

I try clothes on regularly, especially when I'm hungry, or I'm about to stop eating healthy. I also look in the mirror, naked.

There's a group of men called 'feeders' who would think you are on the scrawny side and would try to fatten you up to make you more attractive in their eyes.

( I'm not suggesting such relationships are healthy, but they do exist.)

". I see more normal sized men with overweight women than the other way around."

Would it be their ideal choice though?

Besides from that, obesity is unhealthy. The OP isn't just overweight.

Yes it is absolutely possible, but not for me. My fat goes to my face and belly rather than tits and arse. There are plenty of gorgeous overweight women. I look like a sack of shit.

Of course you can be fat and attractive!

This is such a lovely positive thread..OP this is the confidence you need. Start today..treat yourself, have a pamper evening..wax, mini home facial (steam your face over a bowl of hot water and put a face mask on 😊) review your wardrobe, what makes you feel good and what doesn't ( get rid of that stuff) and start loving YOU..😍