To ask if you can be attractive and fat?

[Needinghonestynow]

I am pretty overweight at the moment. I just cannot seem to stick to a diet for any length of time, have a Fitbit which has helped a bit in terms of daily activity but I know it’s mostly about food. I’m very lonely so eat.

I feel so ugly. I have nice hair, eyes, teeth, but it feels I am just drowned in fat

Can you be attractive and overweight?

Tess Holliday is not a good example. She's making her living from being the size she is so she's hardly likely to drop 3-5 stone and still be morbidly obese whilst losing the media interest. It's no different to models who are massively underweight and need to maintain it to utilise a fashion career.

One of the most attractive women I know is what you'd call 'fat'. She has fab hair, a gorgeous smile, she is super sexy and dresses really well! It's the whole package I think

Apparently I am an attractive fat person.. I am a size 14 and I cannot tell you how many people have said 'you are the most beautiful woman I have seen from the neck up', I shit you not!

It actually makes it worse because then I feel I am wasting myself and only my head is attractive lol .. the diet continues!

BMI does confuse me DH is overweight as he’s 6ft 2 & 17 stone but his frame is massive & he doesn’t actually have many inches to pinch.

BMI is just the relationship between height and weight. It's intended more for use at population level. For individuals it's a guide as much as anything. And it doesn't take into account any other measures. Someone can be slim but have very poor cardio-vascular fitness for example. Or slim but with arteries clogged with arterial plaque.

Muscle is denser than fat so fit people who are also muscular are quite likely to have a high BMI. Many rugby players for example would be in the range considered overweight if you look solely at BMI but they're not fat as such because the weight they are carrying is muscle rather than fat.

Use BMI as a guide but take other factors into account too.

I want to say yes. But my experience in life has shown me otherwise.

Yes you can, attractiveness is more than just body weight. I’m sure I’ve read that most people prefer an attractive face over a good body (which I definitely agree with)

madnessIsay yes it is quite possible to have long legs relative to your height even if you are short.

My bmi is about 18.5. I looked at a woman in pub last night - probs bmi Iin obese bracket - about my age and thought 'god, u look great. Why don't I look that good?'
Actually I know it's down to grooming mainly
When in my 20's with no boobs and little dress sense, the larger girls always looked better than I did in ballgowns

I don't think it's possible to be attractive and fat, sorry. If you are fat you have to ensure you dress well and have flawless make up to pass as attractive. Generally being slim adds a lot to your attractiveness. There are some exceptions like plus size models. Ashley Graham is one. That's pretty rare though and they all already have very beautiful faces and are not extremely overweight.

Ashley Graham has been criticised for trimming down, as did Sophie Dahl when she lost a lot of weight. I think you just can't win. It's a sad state that you get blasted for being overweight/underweight/muscular. Although to be fair if it's how you make your living then I doubt any of them give a shiny shit what anyone else thinks while they're laughing their way to the bank.

PeachCokeZero
I’m similar though aim to do better on the food as I’m training and doing 6-week 6 pack so I hear you

I am not particularly attractive slim, so I wouldn’t be while overweight either.
I think people who are good looking tend to be attractive regardless of weight.
At a certain point it does look unhealthy. Issues with knees and joints means that it becomes ungainly.

I have some good friends who are overweight and very attractive, it's their character as much as anything that makes them attractive. They're warm and loving and hence they're beautiful inside as well as outside.

Whereas we all know people who are very attractive on the outside but very unpleasant on the inside. They lose out in the end, once their friends get to know the real person and decide they don't really like them. We've all read lots of threads on here about CF friends.

All that really matters, I think, is that you're happy in your own body, because that's what makes you an attractive person. (I can say it, but I confess I'm not there yet myself.)

OP, you haven't pitched in for a while. I hope you are still reading the thread and haven't been discouraged too much by the litany of other people's stats and exercise regimes. You can see from what other pp have said that it is possible to be fat and attractive, but at the same time, if you don't like the way you look, it's difficult to see it from someone else's viewpoint.

I just wanted to add that, in my own experience, I have never lost weight from a starting point of self-loathing. I've managed to get down to what most would consider a healthy weight but it has always been at a time when I've been happy with myself, not stressed, and motivated to lose the weight for my own reasons. At times when I've been miserable and hated myself, the tendency is to think "sod it" and not care what I look like or even about my health.

Please listen to the positive voices on this thread and use them to feel happy in your skin, and you might find within that happiness some motivation to take care of yourself.

I thought op wanted to know if one could be sexually attractive when fat, rather than attractive to ones mates

Yes, that's probably true. I've been both fat and slim, and I do have to admit that I had more male attention when slim. It's how I was when I first met him and he did admit then to not liking big women. And I'm not at all sure he would have been interested in me if I'd been overweight at the time.

I'm overweight now, and he hasn't said anything to suggest he doesn't find me attractive, he compliments me on new hairdos and if I dress up nicely for going out.

So I do have to conclude that from my experience at least, being slim helps a lot. But then, as I said, I have friends who were overweight who had no difficulty finding men to share their lives with, so quite clearly, size isn't everything.

I'm 5'3" and have ranged from size 12 at 10 stone to size 18-20 at 14 stone (where I am now.

I loathe my appearance but this thread has given me some motivation - if I can learn to appreciate myself a bit more perhaps I'll find it easier to lose weight. I definitely get noticed more when I'm a couple of stone lighter - I tend to carry my weight across my chest, face and arms, so I look like a fat wrestler.

But I am lucky enough to have nice eyes and good looks apparently. I like myself in a nice dress with flowy hair and good lipstick.

CaliHummers that makes sense, DH has very much a rugby players build.

SerenDippitty Like I said I used to be in fashion & did lots of styling. There aren’t that many different body types & I’ve never styled a short person who needed a 32”+ inside leg be it for a shoot, client or customer. Maybe I misunderstood someone with long legs to me is Gisele Bundchen or Lais Ribero. If your short your torso is normally shorter too. I can’t see how someone can look leggy at a short height unless your torso is ridiculous short. Any celeb examples?

Yes you can. One of my df is obese but she is beautiful. It helps that she has no money problems so can buy the loveliest of clothes, top end make up and have her hair regularly maintained. In photos even though you can see she doesn't have the slimmest face she is still beautiful. I swear I have never seen one bad pic of her ever.

One of my best friends is very big (her words) and is also gorgeous. She has a nice haircut, good makeup, dresses stylishly, and she has never been short of male attention. She's got wicked, twinkly eyes and likes a laugh. She has her insecurities like anyone else, but her sense of fun, lack of self-consciousness and her air of confidence make her very attractive to lots of blokes. I've witnessed it first hand

Depends on what sort of fat you are. Mildly fat, bit chubby or similar, then yes you can be attractive,providing you dress well etc. But if obese or mega obese, then no.

Not for me, no. I'm much better looking slim and because I'm vain it motivates to lose my baby weight every time. I look a lot plainer overweight and the facial features I like just dull: eyes look smaller, strong cheekbones and jaw aren't that strong, skin doesn't glow and I look bloated.
Body wise, I wouldn't mind if I put weight on evenly or on my bum, hips ect but my body isn't made that way and it just goes on my front and tops of my arms. I don't suit being fat.

I think that Ruth Jones, the actress, is a stunner whether she's 'on duty' (as Hattie Jacques in the TV mini-series) or off duty.

SerenDippitty Like I said I used to be in fashion & did lots of styling. There aren’t that many different body types & I’ve never styled a short person who needed a 32”+ inside leg be it for a shoot, client or customer. Maybe I misunderstood someone with long legs to me is Gisele Bundchen or Lais Ribero. If your short your torso is normally shorter too. I can’t see how someone can look leggy at a short height unless your torso is ridiculous short. Any celeb examples?

Petite/short trousers and jeans are too short for me. I have to get standard/regular. Make of that what you will.

but isn’t standard in most shops 30-31”? Petite is normally 29”. Tbh I wouldn’t necessarily go by shops as you can pick up 2 pairs of the same length & they are different lengths, I have 32” to 36” in my wardrobe.
Or are you saying your inside leg actually measures 32” & accounts for more than 50% of your height? Finding clothes must be a nightmare.