To ask if you can be attractive and fat?

[Needinghonestynow]

I am pretty overweight at the moment. I just cannot seem to stick to a diet for any length of time, have a Fitbit which has helped a bit in terms of daily activity but I know it’s mostly about food. I’m very lonely so eat.

I feel so ugly. I have nice hair, eyes, teeth, but it feels I am just drowned in fat

Can you be attractive and overweight?

The only trouble is your loneliness and from that there is too much inward looking.

Imagine a pacman in your head and when a negative thought comes into your mind envision it gobbling it up

Keep doing this every time you have any negative thought about yourself or your life.

Next, start as you mean to go on. Remove all junk and stodge from your cupboards and fridge bar your absolute favourite ( you can change it week by week).

Next look at all forms of vegetables, nuts and seeds as your new best friends ( limit fruit).

Eggs are great as are oats, and so is healthy homemade type breads.

Next sign yourself up to a gym for regular classes or order weights on line if you cannot face going in.

Download a good exercise app on your phone and do a short session as soon as you get out of bed and just before you go to sleep.

It can be 1 minute in length just to get the habit going, once you've past 5 days then increase to 2 minutes and so on.

Head to the swimming pool once a week for 1 or 2 lengths only and then increase once you get the habit going.

Borrow a dog if you can or aim for a 5 minute walk weekly and once the habit is formed, increase the time and frequency.

Basically if you start small and form fun, easy to do habits then you can get a sense of achievement which will sustain you and encourage you to do a bit more.

Never forbid yourself anything but try and understand that self sabotage is going to be fighting against you and you need to prepare mentally for that.

Your little pacman and your inner little warriors aided by a sense of achievement will all help you.

Good luck, have fun and let us know how you get on

Look around at women when you are out and about . Attractivenesss is about an overall impression, and can definately be enhanced by wearing clothes that suit you and taking care over your appearance.
I see women who are larger looking very attractive and slimmer women who look very ordinary . It’s a very subjective thing too, and
different people “see” things in different ways.

Happypie I bought a fitbit in March, linked to myfitnesspal, and gradually increased my daily steps to 8000 (was barely doing 4000 most days before that). I then found that I was doing around 10,000 most days so set that as my daily minimum and gradually added in extra stuff, such as a daily 7am swim, couple of longer walks at weekends, even roller skating.

Foodwise, I eat a couple of boiled eggs and overnight oats with yoghurt for breakfast, then similar meals for lunch and dinner (chilli and rice, chicken and couscous etc) with plenty of veg. Meal prep once or twice a week saves loads of time. I fall down on snacking and drinking enough water but nobody is perfect.
95lbs down in seven months. I did have a lot to lose though and still do.

Losingthechub well done on your dedication. I think I will ask Santa for a Fitbit.

I'd say Nigella Lawson and Kristina Hendricks are the exception not the rule though. They are both incredibly stunning.

Your face never changes. Ok so it can look chubbier than before but the actual features don’t alter so yes, of course you can be attractive and fat. It’s also greatly to do with confidence and how a person holds themselves.

^

Totally disagree. Obviously your actually features don't change, but the chubbiness changes how they look. Like a pp above, all my weight goes on my face - I have small features so look far better slimmer. When I'm bigger they are just drowned in weight. I just look bloated and scruffy.

Huge congratulations, losingthechubrub

It's hard, isn't it! But totally worth it.

I don't think so, but then there's fetishes for fat people so clearly some people do!

I can't be attractive when fat....I also can't be attractive when thin. I am never going to be attractive.

The key thing is to not define yourself by how attractive you are.

I completely agree with the people who say they find liberation in being invisible...it frees you up to define what is important about yourself instead of having to accept everyone else's judgement on the matter!

I was very pretty when younger and slimmer and I think I was still attractive up to a size 16 (5ft 6, hourglass) but above that size, I've kinda lost it. I am the unfortunate type to get a very, very pronounced double chin though

Some women can be large and still attractive, but I have noticed none of them are the type to get extra chins, carrying the weight mostly on bum and thighs with a slimmer face and arms

Yes I think you can. I’m an inch shorter than you OP and classed as normal weight but I’m not attractive at all. I’ve always been ‘plain’.

Dawn French has always been attractive

I was coming onto this thread to say the exact same thing.

Dawn French has the most amazing hair I've ever seen. The times I wanted to pinch it off her head, it's just mesmerising.

Beautiful woman too but oh, that swishy hair!

I always though dawn french was gorgeous

I'm overweight and my DH says he's still fancy's me, I wish I was skinnier as I like to have that confidence back when I lost weight before I felt like a different woman

I’m 4ft 10 and size 16, my weight yo-yos. Ive always made a huge effort with make-up, hair and nails. I’ve found clothes sites that really suit my shape (Lindy Bop) and people always compliment me. Have a look x

This is me at a size 16. I don't look like this every day, this is a fair bit of makeup, lighting and obviously retouched photos
I do ask that my body is never reshaped in images though

"Totally disagree. Obviously your actually features don't change, but the chubbiness changes how they look. Like a pp above, all my weight goes on my face - I have small features so look far better slimmer."

Yep. I have a fat face very easily too.

I remember an Internet discussion where some man was trying to claim that it's women who admire Keira Knightley's slim figure and not men. He said he liked her face and I had to point out she wouldn't have the cheek bones she does if she put on even a little bit of weight.

"for some people (me included) if you lose weight your boobs shrink too. "

Sometimes there are hard choices in life. I think fat people appear less wrinkly, but I wouldn't use that as a reason for someone not to try to get to a healthy weight.

Thinking about my friends and women I know, it struck me recently that once we hit our 40's, overweight/larger women will often look much younger and more attractive than skinnier women, who seem to age much more quickly (I'm reasonably slim myself fwiw)

I've said it once and I'll say it again diets don't work !!
Learn to except your shape , only eat when your hungry and exercise.
Even if it's a 10 minute walk every day it will make you feel good . If you feel good you look good body confidence is everything. Even the most beautiful and slim woman in the world have body confidence issues even more so . Look in the mirror tell yourself you are a beautiful woman.

I'm guessing my sister is 4 stone heavier than me, but prettier. Although I guess she might look even better, and feel better about herself 3 stone lighter (sorry, honest).

Ollivander84 You look really nice and your hair and that dress is lovely.

I’m 5’10” a size 18, and I’m hot 🔥

It’s in the smile, the eyes, confidence, walking straight. Lighting up a room with a carefree attitude.

{Ollivander84 Fri 23-Nov-18 09:57:17

@1tisILeClerc - I'm healthy, I eat carrots etc, I'm confident AND fat (mostly) and I know I can exercise. Just find it really patronising saying about getting out and meeting others because we are fat?!}
I would ask why you called me out as patronising when I have said pretty similar comments to several others.
I can't be bothered with an answer from you though.