To ask PIL to help pay for childcare?

[TheMythicalChicken]

Just for background, I lost my job a few months ago. Things have been very tight for us since. My DH works but his salary is not enough to support us all. I should say at this point that both DC are at private school. DS has SEN which is catered for at the school and for various reasons we decided to send DD as well. We have prioritized this over the years above home ownership, holidays, etc.

I was offered a job yesterday, a really good one. The problem is childcare. The kids break up next week (we’re overseas) and are off for nearly 6 weeks. We will have to book them into holiday club and we just don’t have the money.

PIL live in the same city as us and would have them over the holidays if we asked. Unfortunately I don’t really trust them to look after the kids. They don’t supervise them at all and both kids have had accidents whilst in their ‘care’. Not only that, but FIL doesn’t like them being there and moans constantly about what a liberty it is.

So the only viable option is asking PIL if they will help pay for childcare. However, they will not be sympathetic as they disagree with private school and make constant references to it in terms of our financial situation.

I am not sure if I would be unreasonable to ask them. What do you think?

Thank you.

The OP had explained that couldn't get credit and couldn't delay the start date. People just love to pile in with criticism and don't even bother to read between the lines of realise it is a person on the receiving end.

Can't you get a bank loan to tide you over till you start getting paid? I wouldn't ask them and I do think YABU. Even if you were asking for a loan that's not as cheeky but I'd never have asked my parents or in-laws to help with childcare. They're your children - they've already brought up their own.

Sorry just seen the OP can't get credit.

I know what is acceptable in Australia and New Zealand in terms of childhood scrapes appears to be completely different than what is acceptable in the UK.

I’m really intrigued with this one! Do tell.

I’m Australian and am a parent. Have also worked in A&E in the UK and Australia. I’ve not seen any difference. Both have parents coming in with kids with nothing wrong with them or nothing that a pair of tweezers or band-aid couldn’t put right. Handy hints for parents - a garden variety splinter does not need A&E, nor does a scrape no matter which country you come from.

It’s really not like people don’t take kids to the Dr here unless their head has been lopped off . Promise.

Actually, now I’m waiting for all the stories to pile in about Aunty Diane’s hairdressers second cousins butchers friend of a friend who knew someone who knew a kid in Australia that had their leg lopped off but their parents refused to take them to a Dr and made them mow the lawn instead .

Because posters on here bullied her into giving up on the only solution she had

Also, OP may well be in Aus. Our school breaks up on 7th Dec and goes back on 30th Jan. So, bit of a break.

Because posters on here bullied her into giving up on the only solution she had

Really? What was that then?

I'm anti private schools because if the wealthy were forced to rub shoulders with the riffraff, the standard would be much higher across the board and every child would be at a decent school.

Put them in a state school and be proud of yourself for not attempting to buy privilege.

Then you'll be able to afford childcare and possibly the odd holiday too.

Well by asking for the name calling to stop, it seems like she felt bullied. Apologies for speaking for you, OP. I'll duck out now too.

...

So you don’t trust them, so you want th to pay for someone else. Do you not see how awful that sounds, really?

You don't trust them to look after the kids , but you expect them to pay for the alternative childcare ..are you going to tell them that's why you're turning their offer down ?
If you are then that's beyond cheeky and I know what my response would be

I'm sorry TheMythicalChicken, just read your update

What an utterly unpleasant thread this has been.

Sorry @TheMythicalChicken, I hope things improve soon

I'm anti private schools because if the wealthy were forced to rub shoulders with the riffraff, the standard would be much higher across the board and every child would be at a decent school.

@leapfrog44, do you have a disabled child? Because if you do, I'm fascinated in your ideas on how terribly privileged they, and you are, and the fabulous provision so many schools are panting to provide! Please, do enlighten me. Silly old me thought trying two with excellent reputations before being absolutely forced to home educate - a decision the Welfare Officer described as, "very sensible" adding that he was firmly of the view we were making the right choice - was some sort of evidence that state schools cannot, as currently funded, fucking cope. I dunno; perhaps the odd holiday should matter more than my son being suicidal at five, and again at seven? Priorities do differ.

I'm going to assume you don't properly read posts here. Because the alternative that your own privilege is so enormous, you either have no knowledge or no interest in the very specific challenges faced by parents of SN kids when seeking to provide them with an education they can even begin to access. Here's a clue for you: google the statistics on SN kids now being home educated because there just isn't provision in the state sector, and when you're done, google why exactly it is that while 90% of parents win in EHCP tribunals (the old Statements), most can't find the ten grand it costs to get to that stage, properly prepared, represented, and with the private reports proving need.

Privilege? Your post absolutely fucking reeks of it.

Your kids, you pay for them?! Why on earth should they have to pay?