To sell my house against DP and DSD wishes?

[AllTheKingsWomen]

I bought my house around 6 years ago. It’s a 4 bed detached in a nice area. When DP and I decided to move in together it made sense for him to move in with me as he was renting a tiny 2 bed house. He doesn’t pay towards my mortgage which suits me.
Over the 6 years I’ve slowly gone up the house myself room by room. It’s now exactly how I want it and is worth £40k more than I paid for it.
But now I’ve finished my ‘project’ I’m bored and ready for a new one so I’m thinking of selling up and buying a big Victorian terraced house to renovate. I always warned DP that I might end up wanting to do this.
Well, all out war has kicked off, DSD is gutted as this is the first time she’s lived in a “posh house” (her words) and she likes to bring friends over and show off. She said the houses I’m looking at at “embarrassing” “tatty” “old fashioned” and “scruffy”. DP agrees with her because basically he moved into a nicely done up house without having to lift a finger or spend a penny.

I feel that it’s my choice. I invested in this house and I love renovation and know I can make money doing it. AIBU to tell them it’s happening and they’re free to find somewhere else to live if they hate my idea so much?

You feel sorry for her because her Dad made an informed decision about where she and he chose to live? He chose to uproot himself and daughter to live rent-free in a 4 bed house rather than paying rent himself. He could have saved himself a nice wad of savings thanks to the OP and now needs to rent his own place and start paying for it.

But yeah, poor teenager who likes the OPs house because “it’s posh” and can show off to her friends. What a horrible life lesson for her

But yeah, poor teenager who likes the OPs house because “it’s posh” and can show off to her friends. What a horrible life lesson for her

Oh come on, she's a child. We are only hearing one side of a story, it could have been said in a not so serious way.

How do we know OP didn't beg him to move in and is now sulking because they don't want to be uprooted following another ill thought idea.

following another ill thought idea.

Why is it an ill-thought idea? I think it sounds like a fun idea - I was all for that kind of thing when I was in my thirties, even though I had small children. I'd move at the drop of a hat. Still would, if I felt like it. The OP is FREE and single. Her partner has a child, that HE is responsible for.

Do what you want while you still can, OP. The energy needed for that kind of adventure decreases with the years. You'll really resent it if you feel trapped in this house because two lead weights consider it their home, despite no input apart from messing it up.

Do what you want while you still can, OP. The energy needed for that kind of adventure decreases with the years. You'll really resent it if you feel trapped in this house because two lead weights consider it their home, despite no input apart from messing it up

Agreed

I totally agree, Juells.

He chose to uproot himself and daughter to live rent-free in a 4 bed house rather than paying rent himself

One presumes his main motivation (and OP has given us no reason to think otherwise) for moving in with OP was because he loved her and wanted to live with her, rather than to save himself the cost of rent?

OP's not actually single atm though is she?

However, it was obvious in the first post, that OP didn't have any feeling of this being a partnership, so she should end things with him. Then she can do whatever she likes with the house.

Regarding the daughter saying she likes the "posh house", we don't know what her living situation was before. She could have been living in a mould infested place, so I don't think that what she's said is reason to be nasty about her, and she'll have learnt her manners (or lack of them) from her parents. OP's partner may not want OP laying down the law with his child, so she might not learn to have better manners. She is the innocent one in all of this, and you can't blame her for not wanting to live in a building site. I feel quite sorry for her.

“One presumes his main motivation (and OP has given us no reason to think otherwise) for moving in with OP was because he loved her and wanted to live with her, rather than to save himself the cost of rent”

Well if we’re going to be presuming things the OP didn’t write, one would also presume he loves his child more than a girlfriend and put his child’s interest above his. In which case, we could assume he was using OP to live somewhere he could never afford himself to provide a better environment for his child rent-free and is now “kicking off” along with his child because he doesn’t want to move. We could assume all sorts, really.

But that’s just projecting.

Good for you op

OP I'd get rid of the parasites asap. Your house, sell it if you want to. Ultimately your decision

Haven’t RTFT but personally I’d find it difficult to go back to having joined-on neighbours after the last three years in detached houses. Your decision of course and from the first couple of pages it doesn’t sound like you’re happy with him.

Then she can do whatever she likes with the house.

She can do whatever she likes with it even now. She doesn't owe this man and his kid the place of their desires to live in. But I agree, I'd get rid of him, he sounds like a slob.

You have to do what makes you happy.
DSD definitely shouldn't have any influence. DP well that's a decision for you to make only.
Good luck with whatever you decide x

OP I'd get rid of the parasites asap. Your house, sell it if you want to. Ultimately your decision flowers

Parasites? You are including the child in that description then?

OP has made it clear she did not want him to pay towards the mortgage as she didn't want to muddle up finances. Frankly, not sure why they moved in together at all, this was no partnership (on either side).

I think it's unfair tbh, it's their home and it's comfortable. I'd hate living in houses that always needed doing up or we're having work done.

Then don’t ever move in with someone who tells you beforehand hand that they plan to sell their house and buy a new one to do up.

I don't think she has to pool all her resources communally and let dp have a say to be in a relationship.

Right call OP.

I think it's unfair tbh, it's their home and it's comfortable. I'd hate living in houses that always needed doing up or we're having work done.

Then don’t ever move in with someone who tells you beforehand hand that they plan to sell their house and buy a new one to do up.

^^This is the correct answer. Christ, it's not rocket surgery!

Interesting

Sorry but isn't this situation why we tell women to get married before dealing with houses and stuff like this, because then they are better protected incase the partner kicks them out? They then have a claim over the assets.

This guy has let him and his daughter get into a bad situation. Living in a house that legally isn't theirs, that they don't help pay for and don't have any right to. That's his fault. The daughter is an unfortunate casualty, but so is every woman's child who gets themselves into the same situation. He should have protected himself better.

Some posters are acting as if the OP's life should be dictated to her forevermore by her partner's daughter because god forbid anything in life doesn't go exactly the SD's way. If OP had said that she has DC of her own who don't want to move house, she would have had different responses. Perhaps the SD's actual parent can buy a posh house for her to live in if it of such importance?

I would kick them both out. Scroungers.

They ARE parasites, I agree with the poster who said that. Sponging bastards, let them fuck off and go back to renting. Their gravy train has well and truly departed. Good luck OP with the new house and in future, don’t get involved with people who live by leaching.

So, children are parasites are they?

I actually feel really sorry for the DSD .