To sell my house against DP and DSD wishes?

[AllTheKingsWomen]

I bought my house around 6 years ago. It’s a 4 bed detached in a nice area. When DP and I decided to move in together it made sense for him to move in with me as he was renting a tiny 2 bed house. He doesn’t pay towards my mortgage which suits me.
Over the 6 years I’ve slowly gone up the house myself room by room. It’s now exactly how I want it and is worth £40k more than I paid for it.
But now I’ve finished my ‘project’ I’m bored and ready for a new one so I’m thinking of selling up and buying a big Victorian terraced house to renovate. I always warned DP that I might end up wanting to do this.
Well, all out war has kicked off, DSD is gutted as this is the first time she’s lived in a “posh house” (her words) and she likes to bring friends over and show off. She said the houses I’m looking at at “embarrassing” “tatty” “old fashioned” and “scruffy”. DP agrees with her because basically he moved into a nicely done up house without having to lift a finger or spend a penny.

I feel that it’s my choice. I invested in this house and I love renovation and know I can make money doing it. AIBU to tell them it’s happening and they’re free to find somewhere else to live if they hate my idea so much?

I would say diddums to your DSD and tough shit to your DP and get the For Sale sign up. Sounds like you find it difficult them living with you so win/win.

I have to admit.id feel really vunerable if like people are saying I had moved into my dp house,now no home of our own.therefore now considered it our home only to then find out he would do what he wanted or id have no say as where we went as a family.

I have to admit.id feel really vunerable if like people are saying I had moved into my dp house,now no home of our own.therefore now considered it our home only to then find out he would do what he wanted or id have no say as where we went as a family.

And you would be vulnerable. It's a bad move to make financially and tactically if you chose to move in, are not married and the home is not in both your names unless you have a lot of savings on the side and a good job, which gives you options if the relationship goes tits up, precisely because you really don't have a say. So don't make a poor financial move like this with the roof over your head unless you have enough dosh set aside and the ability to secure another home in the even of a split.

Hang on, the OP has done everything she can not to make this guy vulnerable. He hasn't paid any rent and has only paid half of the bills even though his daughter's there for at least part of the time. He's had the chance to save up that extra money to give himself security. If he's spent that money, that's his look out.

OP, are you married to this guy and is she your step daughter. If not and you don't really like having them there then ask them to leave.

Home is where the heart is etc!

I think you are within your rights to sell up and move on, but I would have thought most people would baulk at selling their home for no reason other than a fun project. But, it’s yours, it’s your right. I would be very upset if my spouse wanted the whole family to leave their home so that he could undertake a project. It’s not about the poshness of each house, it’s a home and the state of it is directly linked to mental health.

I think it's unfair tbh, it's their home and it's comfortable. I'd hate living in houses that always needed doing up or we're having work done.

I feel very sorry for the daughter. Neither of the 2 adults in this sound particularly pleasant.

I think it's unfair tbh, it's their home and it's comfortable.

Then they have the option of making a home elsewhere from which they won't have to move. After all, the father has had a long time to save the money he hasn't had to use for rent and should have managed to put together at least a deposit by now.

The OP has not commented much since she rather coldly decided that she would end the relationship as she didn't like living with them

So what should she have done then? Carry on housing two people who are, quite frankly, filthy bastards simply because one of them might possibly be a child?

Yeah get shut you know it’s not working.It isn’t making you happy and you are just being used.
Bet he will try and back track if you say you want him out but you know deep down he just wants an easy rent free ride.
Life is too short and you are enthusiastic about doing up a house,do what makes you happy.You wasn’t put on this earth to be used.

To be quite frank, both of you seems well shut of the other.

Isn't it "well shot"?

Several people saying well shut on tbis thread - but it's well shot - isn't it?!!

And get shot not get shut

Yes, get shot of them.

Yes,it does sound like the best thing to do,re ending it with your partner. You sound a very go ahead lady,and he isn't in the same frame as you.
So hope there won't be anymore hassle, when he has to go.

Does your DSD live with you ft or is she there How old is she?
If you sell up and follow your dream, as it were, what do you think would be the consequences on your relationship with dp?
Do you have children, an ex?

Fx post. Page didn't refresh.

End it with him. It sounds like it'll be kinder in the long run.

Good luck ending it with him! He sounds like an arse anyway.

And get shot not get shut

There's example od people getting shut of others stretching back into the first millennium.

www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/51/messages/439.html

Seriously, this is their HOME, am I the only one to think they should at least have a say! No, you're not the only one. What a typical mumsnet piley-on goading the OP to behave with a lack of empathy or consideration for the feelings of others. AIBU at its worst.

(BTW I've only read the first page)

Addendum - in the context of the relationship ending YANBU to do what you want with your own property.

I’d break up with your “partner” and give him 30 days to find elsewhere to live. Never mind if you decide to sell or not.

Whoops. Missed the last OP update (despite it being glaringly obvious and colour highlighted)

I feel sorry for the poor DSD. All her life uprooted for someone for didn't give two shits about either her or her Dad.

I totally get protecting assets. I don't understand treating people as less important than property