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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I don’t owe my colleague an apology?

296 replies

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 09:46

I will start by saying this is very petty, but this woman has form for being irritating, so I’m sticking to my guns where I might normally let it go.

Just to set the scene for you briefly- there’s a TV show I loved a few years back, stopped watching because they killed off a particular character who I thought was essential to why it was so good. I had no urge to watch it without them. (won’t say the show or character in case someone has just started watching!)

Anyway. This morning I was in the kitchen at work making coffee, there were two colleagues in there discussing this show. The first one (hereafter referred to as CC, crazy colleague) had evidently convinced the other colleague (OC) to watch this show, and they were both talking about how great it was. I was minding my own business. Eventually, CC turns to me and says ‘oh Slytherdor, you MUST watch this show.’

I responded that I actually used to love it, but stopped after season X due to the character death. She responds ‘watch season Y’. I again enforced that I didn’t want to due to character death. She goes ‘trust me, watch season Y.’

I am now pretty intrigued, so I say ‘are they not really dead? I will definitely watch it if so!’ she just gives me a weird smile and says again ‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I say ‘are they alive?’ and she again repeats ‘trust me, watch season Y’ with the same weird face. At this point I genuinely can’t tell if the person is still alive, or if she’s just so passionate about this show and trying to get me to watch it. I therefore say ‘are they alive? I’ll watch it if they are alive again, I won’t if they aren’t.’ her response?

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I’m now starting to get pretty irritated. I don’t want to be forced into watching this show just because she thinks I should, and the fact that I am politely asking over and again and getting the same line back is annoying me.

I say ‘I have no interest in watching if they aren’t alive CC, but I defo will if they are. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

SAME WEIRD SMILE.

I then say ‘look, I will literally watch it tonight if they are, just tell me.’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

So I just shrug. ‘I’ll leave it, then. But I agree it was a great show.’

I turn back to my coffee, and she goes ‘TRUST ME SLYTHERDOR, WATCH SEASON Y’.

The OC laughs a little nervously and says ‘you will want to watch….’

CC cuts her off shrieking ‘spoilers!!!’

I laugh a bit. ‘it’s ok, I asked to be spoiled, I specifically want to know as I would be frustrated to watch it and waste my time if they aren’t alive. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

Oh man, I was so annoyed by now. So I get out my phone. ‘that’s fine, I’ll just google it. Thanks for the heads up.’

She then KNOCKS THE PHONE OUT OF MY HAND and shrieks ‘no, spoilers!!!!!’

I was aghast, and so angry that she had not only hit me (lightly tbf) but also knocked my phone on the ground. I said ‘are you serious? I can’t even spoil it for myself? I want to know!’

She says ‘why can’t you just trust me!’ and I say ‘because I can’t tell if they are alive or you are just trying to make me watch it, and I really don’t want to waste my time.’

She literally glares at me. So I laugh a little, pick up my coffee and leave. She makes this weird growling, shrieking, frustrated noise as I walk off- very bizarre.

Anyway, just now, I got an IM from OC. ‘don’t tell CC I told you, but they are alive!’

By this point I have googled it, but I am still grateful to her for telling me so I say I am very thankful to her and assure her I will watch, we discuss the show a bit.

I then say ‘that was so weird, why wouldn’t she just tell me’.

She replies ‘I know, she gets very passionate about it. She was upset you didn’t trust her, but she’ll be fine if you apologise.’

I’m like, what? I’m not apologising! She hit me!

She’s just said ‘I know, that was crazy. She won’t let it go if you don’t though.’

I replied that I don’t particularly care if she won’t let it go, I am not apologising for asking to know what happens in a TV show.

She just replied ‘fair enough’ with a smile emoji, and that’s that.

I clearly think this woman is insane and have no wish to apologise to her for this whole scenario. I find the whole thing very childish but I really resent the idea that I owe her an apology, especially since she hit me on the hand. However, the fact that OC suggested I apologise is making me question myself.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Snog · 23/11/2018 18:27

Move on with your life!
Apologise or don't apologise, mainly you have to work with her so it's a ludicrous thing to fall out over.

Both of you were ridiculous imo

christmaschristmaschristmas · 23/11/2018 18:28

You sound just as petty as they do OP Grin

Move on. Don't make work awkward.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 23/11/2018 18:32

FUCK ME, DO THE PROBLEMS ON HERE GET MORE FUCKING PETTY OR WHAT

Danicooper08 · 23/11/2018 18:32

Haha Jane the virgin thought it was something better

jessebuni · 23/11/2018 18:40

Admittedly I would’ve given up asking and googled way before you did but no you definitely don’t owe her an apology. The information is out there and public knowledge and therefore you are entitled to it if you want to know. I’d be more inclined to think she should apologise for knocking your phone to the ground over it. She sounds insane. I personally would avoid having tv related conversations with her in future.

wictional · 23/11/2018 18:43

I love that show! And yes, you need to watch it.

MissMogwai · 23/11/2018 18:48

Jesus Christ Confused

I thought the petty knobbers at my work were bad enough...

OrgyofSausages · 23/11/2018 18:48

I haven't RTFT but I did read your OP, OP, and I just have to say that both you and your colleague are weird and imbecilic.

Are you popular at work?

Trills · 23/11/2018 18:49

It doesn't matter if she is trustworthy or not.

The person who gets to decide whether they care about spoilers is the person who has not seen the show.

‘I have no interest in watching if they aren’t alive CC, but I defo will if they are. Are they?’

You've indicated that you don't care about this particular spoiler.
Reasonable things she could do at this stage are
1 - answer the damn question
2 - say that she doesn't want to tell you, but also stop urging you to watch

manicmij · 23/11/2018 18:49

One is as bad as the other. Should have been stopped at the first 'ask' and 'trust me'. Iin that you were at work suppose you are both adults but hard to believe.

PrincessJuanita · 23/11/2018 18:55

Hmm, she owes the apology for potentially damaging your phone.
The rest of it, repeat after me "ok thanks" polite smile and move on. The conversation was bonkers on both sides Grin

Ironfloor269 · 23/11/2018 19:00

OP, what is the show and what happens in it? 😉

scarbados · 23/11/2018 19:04

It's a tv show. You all need to grow up and stop acting ,like children.

Cabamba · 23/11/2018 19:11

I think neither of you should be allowed out on your own. You are equally scary!!

SundayGirls · 23/11/2018 19:11

Perhaps she really thought she was doing you a favour in not telling you, but became so hell-bent on it that she failed to read the signs that actually you did really want to know more than you didn't.

It's either that or she was trying to control you by withholding the info.

Seeing as you have to work with her though - I wouldn't actually apologise as I don't think you should, but I might smooth it over just so it's done with.

I'd either say nothing and pretend it never happened but if she's making a deal out of it then I'd say "It's a shame we fell out about the TV show thing, CC. It's not really that important though, is it?"

thinkful · 23/11/2018 19:16

I thought it was Wentworth but then you said the character was actually alive. I don't like TV much though.

I think you should apologise if there is bad feeling, especially because OC probably feels very awkward. I'm an apologiser type of person though. But you have to work together for hours every day so best to get along.

(Sorry if I repeated something someone else said)

Chocolate50 · 23/11/2018 19:20

Orange is thenew black??

FunkyKingston · 23/11/2018 19:21

In the normal world rhw response would be

'okay I'll watch that series of Rainbow (or whatever the programme is)'

And then go and Google the name of the character and see what happened to them, rather than engage in what must have been a good 10 minutes of mutual childishness.

BeatriceBee · 23/11/2018 19:29

I think she should apologise to you for knocking your phone out of your hand, but you have nothing to apologise for. Frankly I think she is slightly nuts!!

eloliphant · 23/11/2018 19:38

Homeland?

eloliphant · 23/11/2018 19:39

Sorry just RTFT

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 23/11/2018 19:46

I'm guessing Supernatural. Everyone dies. Everyone comes back. Everyone dies again. And then they're back. Or Westworld.

Callmejudith · 23/11/2018 19:47

You are both completely bonkers.

RoboticSealpup · 23/11/2018 19:58

You're both nuts.

Larrythecat · 23/11/2018 20:12

I understand your frustration. DH doesn't like spoilers but I sometimes NEED to know before it consumes me. Otherwise it takes too much head space and I keep wondering. I rather know things like X survives or Y dies, then just wonder how it happens and that's it. I'm the kind of person who checks the last pages of a book to see who is narrating (who is alive) or reads the summaries of the season episodes in Netflix, so I can have an idea of where it's going. My DH hates spoilers and doesn't understand that I want to know. Sometimes I don't, but if I do, I just really want to know.

She should have respected your wish to know. It's not about "trust", it's about you wanting to know and her not respecting that. Yet, I would apologize for getting so frustrated over it, explain that I really prefer knowing, and move on.

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