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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I don’t owe my colleague an apology?

296 replies

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 09:46

I will start by saying this is very petty, but this woman has form for being irritating, so I’m sticking to my guns where I might normally let it go.

Just to set the scene for you briefly- there’s a TV show I loved a few years back, stopped watching because they killed off a particular character who I thought was essential to why it was so good. I had no urge to watch it without them. (won’t say the show or character in case someone has just started watching!)

Anyway. This morning I was in the kitchen at work making coffee, there were two colleagues in there discussing this show. The first one (hereafter referred to as CC, crazy colleague) had evidently convinced the other colleague (OC) to watch this show, and they were both talking about how great it was. I was minding my own business. Eventually, CC turns to me and says ‘oh Slytherdor, you MUST watch this show.’

I responded that I actually used to love it, but stopped after season X due to the character death. She responds ‘watch season Y’. I again enforced that I didn’t want to due to character death. She goes ‘trust me, watch season Y.’

I am now pretty intrigued, so I say ‘are they not really dead? I will definitely watch it if so!’ she just gives me a weird smile and says again ‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I say ‘are they alive?’ and she again repeats ‘trust me, watch season Y’ with the same weird face. At this point I genuinely can’t tell if the person is still alive, or if she’s just so passionate about this show and trying to get me to watch it. I therefore say ‘are they alive? I’ll watch it if they are alive again, I won’t if they aren’t.’ her response?

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

I’m now starting to get pretty irritated. I don’t want to be forced into watching this show just because she thinks I should, and the fact that I am politely asking over and again and getting the same line back is annoying me.

I say ‘I have no interest in watching if they aren’t alive CC, but I defo will if they are. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

SAME WEIRD SMILE.

I then say ‘look, I will literally watch it tonight if they are, just tell me.’

‘trust me, watch season Y’

So I just shrug. ‘I’ll leave it, then. But I agree it was a great show.’

I turn back to my coffee, and she goes ‘TRUST ME SLYTHERDOR, WATCH SEASON Y’.

The OC laughs a little nervously and says ‘you will want to watch….’

CC cuts her off shrieking ‘spoilers!!!’

I laugh a bit. ‘it’s ok, I asked to be spoiled, I specifically want to know as I would be frustrated to watch it and waste my time if they aren’t alive. Are they?’

‘trust me, watch season Y’.

Oh man, I was so annoyed by now. So I get out my phone. ‘that’s fine, I’ll just google it. Thanks for the heads up.’

She then KNOCKS THE PHONE OUT OF MY HAND and shrieks ‘no, spoilers!!!!!’

I was aghast, and so angry that she had not only hit me (lightly tbf) but also knocked my phone on the ground. I said ‘are you serious? I can’t even spoil it for myself? I want to know!’

She says ‘why can’t you just trust me!’ and I say ‘because I can’t tell if they are alive or you are just trying to make me watch it, and I really don’t want to waste my time.’

She literally glares at me. So I laugh a little, pick up my coffee and leave. She makes this weird growling, shrieking, frustrated noise as I walk off- very bizarre.

Anyway, just now, I got an IM from OC. ‘don’t tell CC I told you, but they are alive!’

By this point I have googled it, but I am still grateful to her for telling me so I say I am very thankful to her and assure her I will watch, we discuss the show a bit.

I then say ‘that was so weird, why wouldn’t she just tell me’.

She replies ‘I know, she gets very passionate about it. She was upset you didn’t trust her, but she’ll be fine if you apologise.’

I’m like, what? I’m not apologising! She hit me!

She’s just said ‘I know, that was crazy. She won’t let it go if you don’t though.’

I replied that I don’t particularly care if she won’t let it go, I am not apologising for asking to know what happens in a TV show.

She just replied ‘fair enough’ with a smile emoji, and that’s that.

I clearly think this woman is insane and have no wish to apologise to her for this whole scenario. I find the whole thing very childish but I really resent the idea that I owe her an apology, especially since she hit me on the hand. However, the fact that OC suggested I apologise is making me question myself.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Findingdotty · 22/11/2018 12:38

Frankly I’m just glad I don’t work with either of you.

Ellapaella · 22/11/2018 12:44

Hilarious!
This has just made me laugh out loud.

tempester28 · 22/11/2018 12:46

Homeland

Mylovelies · 22/11/2018 12:49

No, YANBU.
Whilst undoubtedly awkward for anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in the crossfire, CC is clearly a dreadful, controlling tit. Almost irrisistible to want to wind her up by not doing what your told....

fuzzyduck1 · 22/11/2018 12:50

Report her for assaulting you as a form of apology.

steff13 · 22/11/2018 12:51

I knew it would be Jane the Virgin. #TeamMichael.

Candlelights2345 · 22/11/2018 12:55

GOT?? 100% watch the next series!!!

RibbonAurora · 22/11/2018 12:55

I stopped reading this thread on page 6 after my very faint interest in the outcome of this batshittery died. Can anyone tell me if it's worth reading page 7? Does the OP wake up in the shower and find it was all a bad dream?

Ellapaella · 22/11/2018 12:58

@RibbonAurora NO SPOILERS!! Wink

Nina92 · 22/11/2018 12:59

This is hilarious! Smile

Alwaysbekind2014 · 22/11/2018 12:59

Jesus this is like a conversation between two 12 year olds 🤣I was literally reading this like what the hell

halfwitpicker · 22/11/2018 13:00

Did you not have work to do?

halfwitpicker · 22/11/2018 13:00

RibbonAurora

^^

Probably not worth it.

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 13:04

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut I worked with someone like that- she would always reply when asked, but would immediately follow it with 'I'm surprised you didn't know that to be honest'. She wasn't on my direct team thankfully as I would likely gone to battle with her too.

@scarlettoftheseas consider my ground stood! intrigued what the mamma mia fight was about now!

@InfiniteVariety she is very like that. she doesn't like training people for backup either, she likes being the only one to know things. She once openly admitted that she strives to be a 'bottleneck of information'.

@RhiWrites worry not, I will fly the flag for those of us who love pointless and petty drama. I delivered a warning that it would be utterly inane, as far as I'm concerned anyone who is surprised about it after that is not my responsibility. I accept that I am capable of being petty, weird and immature, so it's all water off a ducks back! I sent this link to my colleague who I typed the detail up for in the first place and she is loving it. She just messaged me saying 'anyone who is being dismissive would either understand it if they met CC, or they would be friends with her if they worked here'. That's the view I have taken and I stand by it!

@RibbonAurora not worth reading, more of the same. Go check out the thread about the husband pissing the bed, I'd say that's worth a punt.

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 22/11/2018 13:04

It's only TV you both are taking this far too seriously. Time to focus on work maybe?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 13:11

Response should have been “meh” and then you should have just gone away, googled and said no more

This ^

I wouldn't waste my break arguing about this.

(Though TBH, if someone had knocked my phones out of my hand I would very possibly have punched them)

AliceRR · 22/11/2018 13:11

I don’t know why you let the conversation go on as long as it did when you could have always looked online but agree you don’t owe her an apology, if anything she does for throwing your phone out of your hands!

SD1978 · 22/11/2018 13:23

So no- you don't owe an apology. But you should have bothered given up much earlier. I don't understand giving up a tv show you were nuts about because of a plot line and not even trying to continue with it- but that's your choice. But when she started to get a tad over involved- most people would have juts gone thanks, I will. And googled when they left.

BlancheM · 22/11/2018 13:28

Why did you keep asking though? The first time she said 'trust me, watch it' you should've been like 'ah, got it. Will do!' with a wink or something then carried on what you were doing.

grumiosmum · 22/11/2018 13:29

Is it Homeland?

Sorry, couldn't be arsed thread all the OP, let alone the thread.

Beeziekn33ze · 22/11/2018 13:32

What BlancheM said 🙄

Snowwontbelong · 22/11/2018 13:34

Send her a screenshot of a spoiler!

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 22/11/2018 13:34

You all sound like pre teens!

Slytherdor · 22/11/2018 13:36

@BlancheM several people have asked this, my answer is the same- if anyone else had said it, that’s exactly what I would have done. This woman is difficult and renowned for it, and I didn’t fancy bending to her will. As a result, I got my backup and pushed back where I should have walked away. Petty? Yes. Stubborn? Yes. Worth apologising for? Well, that was the point of the thread...

OP posts:
Nina92 · 22/11/2018 13:44

Honestly this thread has made my day 😂

OP. If I were you, now you know how to press her buttons, just continue to do it because she sounds irritating.

Immature? Yes! But I'm sure it will brighten your day, as it would mine Wink