To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

[onlygirlinthehome]

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

I’m from a bit of a boozy culture and I’ve had plenty of friends who have done this in their younger years. It’s just getting drunk, which doesn’t mean you’re an alcoholic or problem drinker. That said it’s disgusting, and I’m not excusing it. I’m simply saying No one here can diagnose a medical problem (addiction) on the basis of him pissing the bed

It has happened 7 times which is 6 times too many!

Sorry OP but I would say he does have a drinking problem. Getting so drunk that you piss the bed would only happen once to someone who doesn't have a drinking problem IMO, because you'd make sure you never drank that much again.

@onlygirlinthehome does he tell his friend that he goes home and pissed the bed ? Probably not, but sad really isn't it, he must be pretty wasted to not even know he's wet himself

Why dont you put waterproof mattress protectors on?
Umm no why doesn’t the DH refrain from drinking to the point that he pisses the bed.
it’s only happened about 7 times and we’ve been together 7 years
Well DH and I have been together 23 years and it’s never happened. Don’t diminish this, OP.

OP, the drinking really does sound like it’s causing a problem. Pissing yourself because you’ve drunk too much is not normal, even if it’s only annually. I know it’s not a nice thing to hear.

MelonDramatic and everyone else who has suggested that the OP deal with/prevent the problem by putting waterproof mattress protectors on, you should be ashamed!

Why the actual fuck should it be OK's job to prevent her adult dh from pissing the bed?????

OP, if your h is drinking so much that he regularly pisses the bed, and he's defensive and angry when you bring it up, it sounds like he has a drink problem and he's in denial about it.

I wish you the best of luck.

OP your really minimising this. Pissing the bed when drunk is an embarrassing anecdote that happens once to some people. It's not normal and the fact that it has happened 7 times is worrying.

YANBU to be raging. I'd be livid! However, having a blazing row isn't going to help the situation at all. If he is flying off the handle then he probably feels really embarrassed and defensive. Blacking out in your sleep and pissing the bed isn't "a few drinks". Even if it's only an annual occurrence, it does show his inability to limit

SEVEN times??? Wtf?

No no no. He needs to either stop drinking, or wear a nappy to bed because he’s not ready for big boy pants.

I would go fucking nuclear. We’ve been together nearly 20 years and neither of us have weed in the bed. Ugh ugh ugh.

He is saying to me that he only had 6 pints and it wasn't a binge we are late 30s and he went out with my SD who had told me this is true who is 65 so it wasn't a bender.

OP does your DH go to the toilet lots normally, my DH has an overactive bladder and has medication from the Doctors he can take. We found drinking beer seemed to make it a lot worse and unfortunately he did wet the bed so if he has a drink he drinks cider and make sure he take his medication.

Also it's only happened about 7 times and we have been together 7 years.

Whaaaat. Only ......

I’ve been married for a hell of a lot longer than that and my DH has wet the bed once. He had a virus from hell, was sick as a dog, physically couldn’t even get off the bed to go to the loo. I have not held this against him, it’s one of those things.

Going out for ‘a few drinks’ and wetting the bed 7 times in 7 years is not one of those things however. It’s a problem. One that needs to be sorted.

There are 2 possibilities;

• He did not have a few drinks, he was blind drunk. I have never known anyone to have s few drinks and wet the bed.
• He has a medical problem.

If his version of ‘a few drinks’ results in him pissing his child’s bed then he needs to stop drinking. Problem solved. If he still wets the bed without alcohol he needs to seek medical assistance. Either way he needs to sort it.

I'm not saying he has pissed in our bed every time some times it's been in the living room or the hallway our bed once

Well that’s ok then

Your DP has a drink problem. He needs help.

Sorry, if he thinks 6 pints isn’t a binge he really has a problem. That’s more than he should be drinking in a week.

Maybe he's got a bladder problem? GP check up first of all, then address the drinking. 6 pints is still a hefty amount of alcohol in units.

Dp occasionally drinks til he’s sick. When I’m low on sleep I ask him to not drink too much and he manages to stick to it (otherwise I’m woken up throughout the night by horrible noises). No way I’d put up with him pissing the bed tho!

Op could piss in his car? His clothes drawer? His work bag? Or get him to commit to only drinking x number of pints on a night out.

If you’re getting so drunk you don’t even wake up to realise you need the toilet then you shouldn’t be drinking .
That’s disgusting and I’d be fucking livid

My DH and I don’t drink and our families are teetotal. Nobody has ever wet the bed over the age of about 9 or under the age of 85 unless seriously ill. It really isn’t normal behaviour!

Are you so wealthy that the amount spent on alcohol and replacing a mattress isn’t noticed, or will it have an impact on your family finances?

@Birdsgottafly if that's the case then I'm pleased I must present as someone not to discuss drunk pissing with.

7 times in 7 years, my god you just put up with anything don't you!

OP you can do as you like. YAB incredibly reasonable to be raging he pissed in your sons bed.

Will your OH be reasonable enough to not drink 6 pints unless he wears a nappy to bed after?

Will your OH be reasonable enough to apologise, clean it, prevent it and be sure it doesn't happen the 8th or 9th time?

Will your OH be reasonable enough to understand you raging at it and not argue with you that pissing in his child's bed is something he needs to take responsibility for and prevent?

Or will he make you feel absolutely shit for being upset about it? Will he make you feel like a terrible person for not supporting him in his embarrassment? Will he make you feel like you are completely overreacting and pathetic to have an issue with it?

Also 6 pints can be a bender. Depends how long it took to drink them/ how much he normally drinks/ how strong they are etc

The first he did that, I'd have been long gone. Let alone the 7th.

I have known of people that will order a couple of extra shots for themself when it's their round and quickly neck them at the bar. Just because someone didn't see them have more than 6 pints it doesn't mean they didnt have more. I have known a few people who have problems with drinking to excess and they are good at hiding and minimising it.

Well he clearly has some sort of reaction to 6 pints that makes him piss whatever bed he's in.
Most adults faced with this or a similar situation would take a decision to avoid the triggering factor. In this case, alcohol.

If my partner could not take such a decision, I would have to consider whether there was an addiction (as there was with my partner's smoking). If there is no addiction and it's still happening clearly you are right to be annoyed and I'd be questioning his priorities in life, because that's yuck.