To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

[onlygirlinthehome]

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

He should go to GP to discuss if he hasn't already. Hopefully they can resolve for him.

In his defence, he's not intentionally peeing the bed, and it sounds like he is trying to clean up the mess himself rather than just not caring and leaving it to you to do. So that's definitely something, but his next action has to be to make some efforts to try and figure out why this is happening and what he can do to resolve it. In the meantime putting a waterproof cover on the bed he will be sleeping in...

He's got a drinking problem then has he? Sounds like he is already ashamed as he was washing sheets at 4am. I do sympathise with him as alcoholism is a horrible addiction but I also sympathise with the OP. It's a tricky situation. Maybe tell him that if he's drinking he must be in another bed that has proper sheeting down. This isn't to protect the bed but rather to hammer home how much of a issue it is for the OP. Hopefully he can stop drinking or at least not get so drunk that this is happening

A lot of men do this, I'd not put up with it OP.
Why don't you just kick him out?

Oh, brother! Here we go again. He doesn't need a fucking GP. He needs to stop drinking. He told the OP he'd had 6 pints, that's at least 12 units and that's if he's telling her the truth. He doesn't have a medical problem, he has a binge drinking problem. Can't believe someone thinks this is okay because he doesn't just leave the OP in a pissy bed. FFS, some people's standards are positively underground.

OP, does he just come in from a heavy night s drinking and fall asleep without going to the Loo? All that beer makes you piss like crazy.
It's not normal. My ds has come home worse the wear after much too much to drink and he goes up and down to the loo all the time on beer. He s never pissed the bed however drunk though!
My best friend s ex dp used to do it all the time and once on their living room carpet. Whole flat smelt like a urinal for days and she was cleaning it up heavily pregnant.
He was an alcoholic and she got rid.
My sympathy to you and a medal for your patience!

Why is the answer here to put waterproof bedding on? Why doesn't the OP's DH just stop drinking?!

I would have absolutely zero respect for any person, man or woman, who got so pissed they lost all control of their bladder. I'm sorry, but who does that? That's never acceptable. What kind of beasts are some of you married to/partnered up with? Drinking to such excess they piss the beds, over floors, in bedroom corners and wardrobes? That's beyond vile! Christ. Hell would freeze over before I ever lowered my standards to such an extent.

There was a poster on here once whose DH had stumbled home after a night out, stripped off and actually shat up their stairs while on his way to bed. And she stayed with him.

I've only heard of this on MN too and it sounds absolutely horrible.

He needs to avoid drinking. If he does want to drink and it's genuinely a medical issue and not alcoholism-related, he needs to wear incontinence pants to bed after drinking, like anyone else with that kind of bladder problem would. Just pissing in bed and ruining the mattress is not acceptable.

As for the arseholes who piss in room corners, wardrobes, or anywhere else in a house apart from in the toilet, I wouldn't put up with that even once.

Why is everyone giving OP a hard time? It’s not her fault

No one says it's her fault. What they're saying is -

he has a drink problem, which she's in denial about
it's not HER responsibility to put on waterproof sheets etc

At least he cleaned it up, nobody means to piss the bed!

WTF. Oh well that's alright then if he didn't mean it.

I can't believe you think it's ok, OP, because he has only done it 7 or 8 times in seven years. Once would be too many times for me.

7 times is not normal, even if that's over 7-8yrs. He says he's 'sorted it', what washing the sheets? He hasn't sorted the mattress unless he bought a new one, and he hasn't sorted the fact that he pisses himself. One time may have been an accident, the second should have shown him that he can't handle his alcohol. Every time since then is unacceptable and there is no excuse.

It sounds as if he needs to arm himself with an adult nappy before he goes out drinking in future... or he needs to drink less when he does.

OP, i am not really sure what you want people to say? You seem cross that people are suggesting he has a drink problem? You also seem to think that once a year is an acceptable amount to soil the house? Is the only issue for you, that it was your childs bed this time?

@allthegoodusernamesaretaken some
People are saying that. Some are berating OP for not leaving him, insisting he’s an alcoholic etc. Imagine how OP must feel reading that.

Make him sleep in the bath,

Why is everyone giving OP a hard time? It’s not her fault

I used to get a hard time too under other usernames. Years of threads on MN getting a hard time for stuff I would minimise and accept. Took a lot for me to understand that actually you aren't a bitch if you refuse to be treated badly.

Took a lot for me to now think back and understand why I got a hard time. I had incredibly low standards for what I was worth.

I didn't like it at the time and thought it was unfair. It did play a role in opening my eyes eventually that other women don't accept what I thought was okay because I loved the man.

OP might not be in the same situation I was, but there are signs that make me worry she will be one day and I really hope that isn't the case for her

It didn’t work then did it heartbroken? Glad you’re finally happier

It did work eventually. It played a role in helping me realise what I was living.

I didn't leave or get help based on one thread alone but it did open my eyes over time

@AintNobodyHereButUsRavens that is absolutely horrible. That poor woman and the baby.

@heartbrokenandtired that his absolutely vile. I hope he didn't have an audience of mates when he was doing it.

I also had an ex who did this, except it was in the corner of the room. I yelled at him to stop and he quickly sobered up for a second, long enough to stop the stream of urine then went to the bathroom to finish. He had to clean up his own fucking urine. There was another time where he fell asleep on the floor outside the bathroom with his pants down but luckily no piss on the floor. It was around 3am and I had woken up to go use the bathroom. I took a picture and sent it some of my friends telling them this is shit I was dealing with at the time and they were wholly sympathetic. We were at the end of the relationship and were just riding out the end of our lease together so I was really OVER his drunken antics.

(To me it does seem that he is drinking more than he can manage on these occasions - losing control of your physical self to this extent is extreme if you are an experienced adult. However, I note from the tone of your posts that you and he don't see it as a serious problem. You seem angry about the mattress - which is fair enough - but don't feel that he is being unreasonable/abnormal for getting this drunk on several occasions in the past. Different people find different things acceptable)

You're right to be raging that he did this OP, but you're not right to minimise. 7-8 times in 7 years is a problem. My DH did this once, in the early days of our marriage. He went to bed very drunk. During the night he sat up on the edge of the bed for a minute or two and then laid down again, but nearer my side of the bed. I was bemused until I discovered in the morning he had wet the bed. He was so drunk he thought he'd got up and sat on the toilet and didn't realise he was still in bed.

I couldn't excuse it happening that many times without DH seeking help.

I dont think anyone here is giving OP a hard time. To me it reads like everyone is alarmed/concerned for her.

Put OPs DH on; then you'll see a hard time

@onlygirlinthehome your husband can't hold his drink.

I don't understand how THE FUCK you haven't been raging in the and I quote SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES he's done this before. Perhaps if you had your son's bed wouldn't have been soaked in his pissed up father's urine. Disgusting.

My husband would do this once. And never again. He hasn't yet and I'm hoping for his sake that's the way it will stay.

This used to happen to my friend's DP. Turned out he was diabetic. Worth a trip to the GP...

He shouldn't be getting this drunk when there's a child in the house. I'd be telling him to choose between alcohol and his family.

Irrelevantly being confused by the piss-en-lit's drinking companion. A SD of 65 is a typo I assume.