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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

284 replies

onlygirlinthehome · 22/11/2018 09:44

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

OP posts:
ciderhouserules · 22/11/2018 16:20

OP = you obvs don't think the bedwetting is caused by the drink. What do you think it is?

If it is medical, he needs to get help.

If it;s the drink, he needs to face that.

Either way, he should not be getting aggressive with you.

MinorRSole · 22/11/2018 16:25

Abra1de my point is that a lot of the warriors up in arms over this are probably consuming similar amounts themselves!

I don't drink at all. I was never a big drinker as I don't like the taste of most alcoholic drinks. These days a combination of rural living and a daughter with chronic asthma mean that I just don't bother, if I need to drive her for treatment in the middle of the night I don't want to be totting up how much I've had.

donajimena · 22/11/2018 16:38

On the subject of mattress protectors we all have them here. In case of an unexpected period (me) or sickness bugs when they were little. However, none of us piss the bed.
When you get your new mattress make sure you protect it. Not for your pissy husband but two year olds might be sick in the night.

starkid · 22/11/2018 17:02

7 times too many! True, doesn't sound like it's a too-much-alcohol problem, but simply too much liquid, then goes to bed a little fuzzy headed and doesn't automatically wake up when needing the loo.

But how on earth did it happen in the hallway/stairs etc., did he just pee while going up them, or sleep on the stairs?!

Sounds like a medical problem, I'd talk to him about booking a doctors appointment and getting it looked at asap.If that happened once I'd be concerned, but happening on average once a year isn't right and needs investigating further as could indicate more serious problems.

Witchofwisteria · 22/11/2018 17:17

I'd be absolutely livid YANBU

SilverySurfer · 22/11/2018 18:18

Diddlysquats
SilverySurfer I guess that's why no-one would share that kind of information with you. I'm the type of friend where you can tell me anything, nothing will shock me, so people do tend to confide in me.

What are you whittering about, you know fuck all about me.

disneyspendingmoney · 22/11/2018 18:49

My xDW used to do this. And she turned into a chronic alcoholic. It's not right. It's not normal it's the start of a slippery slope.

Plus it's really unattractive to wake up in a puddle of your pissed partners piss, because they cannot manage their drinking. The DCs have pissed the bed less even when they were little.

For me now this is a big red flag to worse to come

But that's just my experience

Miscible · 22/11/2018 18:53

Abra1de my point is that a lot of the warriors up in arms over this are probably consuming similar amounts themselves!

I can honestly say that I have never, ever drunk 6 pints of beer in one day, let alone one evening, or the equivalent in any other type of alcohol.

Miscible · 22/11/2018 19:02

My brother wet the bed until he was 14. Did he deserve to be shamed?

Obviously not, because he was not an adult, and was not, I assume, deliberately and repeatedly going out and getting himself into a condition that would substantially increase the likelihood of him wetting the bed. Can you not see that the situation is simply not comparable, @Diddlysquats?

RaspberryRipple1963 · 22/11/2018 19:22

I had an ex partner who used to do this EVERY sodding time he drank too much had a few drinks of an evening. And it's the the main reason why he is an ex. What really infuriated me was that he'd do it in his sleep,not realise he'd done it,then wake up soaking wet and cold and try and blame me for doing it! Angry. Even though 90% of it was underneath him! Then he'd start whingeing that he was cold and expect me to start stripping and changing the bed at 4am. It was the last straw when he did when I was suffering from a kidney infection,and had a temperature of 101 F. Despite the fact that I felt like shit,I just saw red and told him to get out.

Jux · 23/11/2018 11:35

I think you should go to a male dominated site and ask there. Try Piston Heads (is it still going)?

Rattymare · 23/11/2018 11:39

I went through exactly the same as you Polly. It could have been me writing that tbh.
Thankfully he is now my ex, sadly it did destroy our relationship.

loudhouse18 · 23/11/2018 13:08

You should probably give him a taste of his own medicine and piss the bed one night and see how he likes it then maybe he'll stop - just a suggestion haha! Sorry that probably wasn't helpful but could you imagine his reaction

Alternatively could he "draw the line" when he starts to become a bit drunk so he doesn't pee the bed during the night.

BasilFaulty · 23/11/2018 14:20

Good lord why are you shouting at people? Confused

MarklahMarklah · 23/11/2018 14:34

OP, you posted in AIBU that you were raging that this was not the first time your husband had done this. You've said he's not an alcoholic. You've said that he's a good man apart from this. But you can't keep washing sheets and scrubbing mattresses.

What outcomes do you want?
What responses were you expecting?

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 23/11/2018 15:40

Oh that's a bad, bad sign. The drink is making him sleep into an almost unconscious state and his body isn't getting the signals through to waken up. It's not normal and is usually a sign of very heavy drinking. He'd not be in my bed if he'd had a drink, that's for damn sure - and he would be in a kids bed either. BTW if he managed to do two beds in one night, then that's a heck of a lot of liquid that he's retaining. Is he having difficulty weeing normally? Is this potentially an early prostate issue?

Knittink · 23/11/2018 15:50

People don't necessarily mean that this indicates he's an alcoholic in the sense of being physically addicted to alcohol, OP. But carrying on drinking when he knows it might lead to pissing the bed shows that he is prioritising alcohol over not pissng the bed. And I'd say that is a kind of drinking problem. If I knew I might piss the bed when I'd had a few drinks, I simply wouldn't drink!

Wildheartsease · 23/11/2018 16:49

I don't think that everyone is suggesting that you leave him for this. That would be a dramatic response!

They do think it right to be angry and don't think it right (or normal) for it to happen once a year.

( Really, DPs don't have to be especially wonderful not to do this - ever! )

You and he think it is acceptable that this happens (even if you don't like it much). That is fine but as you can see on here, most people wouldn't.

Butteredghost · 23/11/2018 19:16

This is gross but why all the hate for mattress protectors? They are waterproof but they are soft and don't make a crinkle sound, in fact you don't even know they are on and you don't have to wash them all the time unless they actually get wet.

OPs husband has behaved badly here, but let's face it, bed is a place where fluids can be spilled sometimes. Nappy leak or vomit for baby, for adults drinks, periods, sex related fluids and yes, occasionally pee. It happens.

donajimena · 23/11/2018 23:48

buttered I'm with you 100% I put mine on my beds 15 years ago and unless being washed or aired they've stayed there. I'm loving my pristine mattresses

MelonDramatic · 25/11/2018 10:11

I had no idea people didnt use mattress protectors tbh Confused

bastardkitty · 25/11/2018 10:20

This thread is about a drunk adult male who pissed in his 2 year old's bed. It's not about fucking mattress protectors.

MelonDramatic · 25/11/2018 10:34

Yes, i realise that...i have addressed that in detail. But fucking mattress protectors are still undeniably an excellent idea. Particulary as OP has no intention of getting rid of her man-baby

ginyogarepeat · 25/11/2018 10:45

In what parallel universe can anyone justify a grown man pissing in several areas of his house after drinking?! And the "only" 7 or 8 times - I would be so livid after one time that I could guarantee it would never happen again. And that's not saying my DH is "perfect" but I would not tolerate an adult pissing all over my house!

If he doesn't have an alcohol problem OP, (think how often does his drink too, not just quantity) then he has a medical issue that needs addressed.

llangennith · 25/11/2018 11:05

Haven't rtft but came in to tell you to buy washable waterproof mattress protectors for all your beds.

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