To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

[onlygirlinthehome]

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

If he only does it when he drinks then he shouldn’t drink. Ever. It’s that simple.

What do you want to do/happen?

The only time an XP did this, he was a chef on split shifts, he hadn't been drinking, he was just exhausted. I woke up to "Phil, Phil, wake up, I've pissed the bed!" He changed the bed and everything. He said he'd dreamt he was going to the toilet, so his brain was obviously trying to tell him but couldn't wake him up.

Your DH needs to cut down on alcohol drastically.

He needs to deal with this. My late H did this, but he turned out to have a kidney stone. Getting it removed stopped it. However he was also an alcoholic and drinking absolutely made the problem worse. Your DH needs to get checked out, pull right back on the heavy drinking and also pay for a new mattress for your DS.

@onlygirlinthehome

Fuck waterproof mattresses! You do that for a child who has 'weeing the bed' issues, not a grown man who is a father!

That is disgusting behaviour. And if it happened a second time, it would be the last time DH slept in our double bed. He would be sleeping in the spare bedroom, or on a camp bed in the lounge if we didn't have a spare bedroom.

FFS how old is he? 18?!

Don't tolerate this! Next time he does it, chuck a bucket of cold water over him.

OP your husbands drinking is causing a problem. Therefore your husband has a drink problem. That is the definition

But he didn't sort it did he? Putting the sheets in the washing machine is not "sorting it". It's fixing a symptom, not the problem. The problem is that when he drinks too much he pisses himself. (I had an ex who did this too when drunk).

My ex h used to go out and get drunk to the point of not knowing what was happening. One night he rolled in at 4am, fell asleep in his man cave, i looked in on him he was asleep on the floor and had pissed himself. I got him up he tried to leave the flat naked. I got him in clean underwear and deposited him in spare bed. Then i hear what sounds like running water, look in the spare room and hes standing pissing on the floor again. Was not amused, i had to clean the spare room at 5am but i left his mancave for him to deal with, it was rank had no windows was only a small box room!

He did this a few times, kind of points to one of the reasons to why he is now my ex.

I don't think he was an alcoholic as to a lot of people seem to be suggesting as he would only do this maybe once a month, it was more greed of drink and drinking to excess to the point of not being able to control his bladder.

FranciscoGoya
Which, oddly, only happens when he's been drinking

How do you know?

Because I read the opening post of the thread.

Also it's only happened about 7 times and we have been together 7 years.

My ex pissed the bed. My ex was also a raging alcoholic so it would happen 3/4 times per week. Sofa, beds, floor, even the car

If you're drinking to the point where your bladder can't hold it, you should revaluate your drinking behaviours.
I'm not suggesting your partner is an alcoholic, nor suggesting he has a medical problem but the fact remains that pissing all over a mattress is beyond vile

Once might be passed off as something to look back on and joke over but this was in your child's bed

I'm the least anally clean person I know but I'd be telling him that he needs to buy a new mattress and a waterproof protector and that's where he'll be sleeping until he sorts himself out. Also, that he won't be in your bed unless he's sober / sober enough to not piss all over you

6 previous times he could have made a decision not to let it happen again OP and he chose not to.

6 previous times he thought you could bloody well put up with it if he wanted to drink that much

Mmm, I think you have a problem, because your DH regularly and knowingly pisses the bed after drinking... it's a problem!

And refusing to discuss it, or even worse, flying off the handle when you get righteously angry about it, is a way of controlling your behaviour and shutting you up.
So, you now have an extra problem.

In both cases, your DH is choosing to behave in this way and not give a fuck about what you want or what is reasonable.

How long you put up with this blatant disrespect is up to you.

harley an alcoholic doesnt have to drink everyday, to be an alcoholic. Some go months without a drink

Drinking to the extent that you soil yourself on a monthly basis, is alcoholic behaviour. Unless you think that people without drinking problems would be content to piss all over themselves and their home on a regular basis?

Also it's only happened about 7 times and we have been together 7 years

Why are you diminishing it. Once should have been enough for him to acknowledge the issue and make changes to his behaviour to prevent it happening again.

How can you respect him OP when he clearly doesn't respect you?!

He's pissed the bed 7 times and still goes out on the piss and sleeps in his SONS bed knowing full well he will wet his bed? And you haven't bothered to buy any waterproof sheets after the first 2 times he did it?? I'd go mental tbh he sounds like a complete joke

MinorRSole, its probably that people aren't discussing it in front of you.

It's a "pick your audience", type of subject.

I've had female friends, who I only found out piss in wardrobes/suitcases, because I've shared a room in a hotel with them.

I had honestly never, ever heard of or had experience of an adult pissing in a bed / wardrobe etc when drunk until I joined mumsnet. I sometimes feel as if there’s some sort of alternate reality out there.

My bed is my most loved and precious “thing” - it cost me £££££ and if anyone dared to piss in it other than extreme illness or disability reasons they wouldn’t be sleeping in it again. Ever.

I used to be a very heavy drinker and if I ever peed the bed I would not drink again. I have been teetotal for 10 years now due to health reasons and I think giving up because you can’t control your bladder is as good a reason as any other.

He doesn't have a drink problem.

Yes, he does. People without drink problems can stop themselves drinking before they reach the stage where they lose control of their bladders. Most adults would be absolutely mortified to have done this once, let alone seven times.

He needs to stop drinking. He should be able to do that if he doesn't have a problem. I can't believe this happens to continent adults. < not envy

@melondramatic i would say he was more of a binge drinker than an alcoholic tbf.

There was also extenuating circumstance to why he didn't go out that often and that was the excuse to get so blind drunk.

The fact that he is getting angry about it instead of being apologetic isn’t acceptable. He sounds like a nasty, disrespectful man who has a drink problem. You have every right to be angry because this has happened more than once.

Tell him that he either stops drinking completely or you will be divorcing him.

Sadly I had heard of it. My exes mates and him thought it hilarious and I was of course the crazy bitch who just didn't find being pissed on funny and was such an awful bitch for not offering him sympathy and also such an overreacting bitch for telling him he had to sort his alcohol problems

It wasn't the only reason I had to escape but it breaks my heart a little bit that women aren't allowed to not find it funny, not offer sympathy or be perfectly reasonable in saying no pissing the bed isn't okay because you drank nor is pissing on people

OP, you are minimising his behaviour. Yes he has a drink problem

OMG HOW DO I QUOTE PEOPLE ON HERE. I have been with my husband 7 years he has done this approximately 7 maybe 8 times. Our son is 2. I'm raging as he has this is in our sons bed for the FIRST EVER TIME. He was in a cot for a while before this he was in my bed as it suited our situation for one night NOT every night. I'm not saying he has pissed in our bed every time some times it's been in the living room or the hallway our bed once. FFS stop speculating you know my life I'm raging it my sons be once.