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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

284 replies

onlygirlinthehome · 22/11/2018 09:44

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

OP posts:
Serin · 22/11/2018 10:15

Throw the mattress away, it will stink and its not fair for your son to have to sleep on that.
Your 'D'H can buy another with the money he will be saving from stopping drinking.
Filthy git.

Juells · 22/11/2018 10:15

busybarbara
This is not normal. Therefore it's a medical or psychological issue. Which means you're mocking him for a medical issue.

Which, oddly, only happens when he's been drinking Hmm

Bigonesmallone3 · 22/11/2018 10:16

He needs to stop drinking clearly.. my partner would die of shame if that was him

Calzone · 22/11/2018 10:16

Good grief

That’s disgusting.
Really gross.

What has he said to you this morning?

MelonDramatic · 22/11/2018 10:16

stealth i suggested that. I think i have worked out why. I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years. I have been through the 12 steps. I know how to detach and avoid codependency. I am reading this as if the bed-wetting is drink related and not medical. So , i would not be interested in 'nagging' at the man-baby who wont take responsibility for himself. I would just be taking the steps necessary to make the situation better for OP. I.e. avoiding piss soaked mattresses. Like i said, having eventually rid myself of 1, i wouldnt entertain this for a second. I recognise that OP isnt at no-tolerance stage and/or this might not be related to alcoholism

Anyway OP...protect your mattresses!! 😁 and get thee to AlAnon if that IS your situation

Nothisispatrick · 22/11/2018 10:18

This is fucking rank. I can’t believe pp are suggesting it’s normal when drunk or that the solution is mattress protectors. I have never pissed the bed after a drink, neither has dp.

pencilpot99 · 22/11/2018 10:18

Urgh! My ex-h did this once. Got absolutely wasted and then pissed the bed. Luckily we were each sleeping in single beds, unluckily the reason for that was we were staying with friends. In the middle of the night, we were creeping about trying to hand-wash and dry his f*ing pissy sheet without waking anyone up. I was livid and hugely embarrassed. It wasn't a medical / incontinence problem it was a drinking-too-much problem. Absolutely disgusting. But happily he is now my ex.

heartbrokenandtired · 22/11/2018 10:20

My ex uses this excuse for why he pissed on me

Forget all the abuse and the alcohol addiction

I clicked on here actually wondering if it was his new girlfriend and he'd started with her

Apparently it's fine to piss on people if you're drunk and they're rediculous to not like being woken up by being pissed on

(It's not fine btw)

MelonDramatic · 22/11/2018 10:21

Husband is AWARE that he repeatedly pisses the bed when drunk. He knows that. He chooses to continue to drink and piss the bed. Do NOT get into a position where you keep telling him he is doing it/it is unacceptable/he must get help/he must drink less/he must stop drinking. He is an adult. He KNOWS this himself. You need to decide what YOU want to do

Seaweed42 · 22/11/2018 10:22

If someone cannot control their bladder after drinking, and they persist in drinking to the extent that this happens, then they need to wear adult pull ups to bed.
There's many a woman who has leaking and urge incontinence who takes responsibility for her medical issue.
If it's a medical issue and not a getting blind drunk paralytic issue, then buy the adult incontinence underwear for nights out.
OP, ask your DH will he buy a packet of these the next time he is shopping.

MelonDramatic · 22/11/2018 10:23

Flowers heartbroken

MrsStrowman · 22/11/2018 10:24

If it only happens when he's drunk, he has a choice to stop it happening again. That's more than just a few drinks.

AintNobodyHereButUsRavens · 22/11/2018 10:26

@MinorRSole it's not just on MN, when I was in hospital having DD my midwife was chatting to us and she told us about her ex husband who would get drunk and piss everywhere. When their daughter was born he went out to celebrate, when he got home he pissed in the newborns moses basket while she was in it EnvyEnvyEnvy Hence him being her EX husband.

Caprisunorange · 22/11/2018 10:26

“This is not normal. Therefore it's a medical or psychological issue. Which means you're mocking him for a medical issue.”

It’s quite common following heavy drinking.

OP this is YUK. Not really sure what you can do though, he’s an adult and obviously won’t wear pull ups unless he wants to Hmm

FranciscoGoya · 22/11/2018 10:27

Which, oddly, only happens when he's been drinking hmm

How do you know?

Babdoc · 22/11/2018 10:28

OP, your DH is an alcoholic. You know that already, don’t you. This wasn’t a one off event. Repeatedly getting drunk to the point of unconscious bed wetting is not normal, it’s a red flag for alcoholism.
You can either accept a life of urine soaked bedding and the misery of living with an alcoholic, or you can deliver an ultimatum. He gets treatment via his GP or Alcoholics Anonymous - or you leave him. And be prepared to follow through on that. Often it is only by being forcibly confronted by the consequences of their drinking that alcoholics will do anything about it.

LuluJakey1 · 22/11/2018 10:28

Get rid of your disrespectful husband and the mattress he has destroyed. Buy your child a new mattress. Nothing else.

PortiaCastis · 22/11/2018 10:29

My ex used to lose control when he was drunk but not only pissing himself he once shat himself on the sofa disgusting creature and that is one of the reasons he's an ex

Doghorsechicken · 22/11/2018 10:30

I’d make him wear adult nappies & sleep on an air bed. This is not what you need OP!

MinorRSole · 22/11/2018 10:31

@AintNobodyHereButUsRavens that is really vile.

TheWiseWomansFear · 22/11/2018 10:34

I've done it before when drunk - am extra vigilant about peeing before bed now. I also have a waterproof mattress cover.
I just didn't wake up... worrying tbh but hasn't happened since I was a student. At least he cleaned it up, nobody means to piss the bed!

RomanyRoots · 22/11/2018 10:35

tell him to grow up I can't believe a grown man with a child has so little thought of his family.
I'd suggest he stops drinking, get help if he needs to, or he can leave.
You don't have to stay with this excuse for a partner and parent.

Original poster
onlygirlinthehome · 22/11/2018 10:37

I don't think I explained it very well he does it every now and then and only when he has had a drink. He doesn't have a drink problem. Our son is 2 and in nappies so don't think about mattress protectors. Every time I try and talk about it or get made he flies of the handle and says oh why you going on I sorted it didn't I but I'm raging. And it's making me so angry

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 22/11/2018 10:39

I'm sorry but that's a drink problem, now and then he drinks to the extent he loses control of his bladder??

heartbrokenandtired · 22/11/2018 10:40

I beg to differ on whether someone means to piss the bed as an adult when drunk

Maybe they do lose control of their bladder. But they made a conscious choice to get drunk enough that they do

And in my case that conscious choice also enabled them to be repeatedly abusive

If they have an alcohol problem that leads to them losing control of their bladder they can also make a conscious choice to seek support for alcohol addiction and try to prevent the actions that follow drinking too much which are highly upsetting to their family

If a small child who hasn't been drinking wets the bed, that is when they haven't done it on purpose and you have a responsibility as a family member to wash sheets and use mattress protectors and offer sympathy and non judgement

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