To be pissed off that DH pissed the bed

[onlygirlinthehome]

It's not the first time and most likely the last and I'm raging I was the first time and have been every time.
He did it again last night he went out for a few drinks so I had our DS in our bed so he didn't disturb me when he got home as I'm not too well at the moment so he slept in our sons bed and he again pissed the bed I woke up at 4am to the washing machine going so ok at least he has made the effort to sort it out but that's not my point it's still gone into the new mattress.

Dontalltalkatonce

Keyboard warriors are people that are horrible and say things they wouldnt say in real life to strangers. People they don't know...

Im not talking about friends.

People hide secretly behind keyboards and in real life they wouldn't dream say it to STRANGERS as they might get a clump...

Thats true!!!

www.menshealth.com/health/a19528026/bedwetting-and-alcohol/

Neither myself or my husband of 16years have ever wet the bed after drinking. It’s really not normal. 6pints would be a lot for either of us to drink. If DH is going out for the night he would probably drink 2-3 pints max. I’m sorry I do think he has a drink problem.

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.

OP he does have a drinking problem because he knows that he pisses the bed when hes drunk and he still does it. Knowing that it will upset you.If he had any respect for you he would be tee total. Why should you put up with this?
I've known three men who have done this and all the wives have left them now. One in particular was that bad his wife had to wrap a big towel round him because he would shit and piss all over the bed otherwise.
I'd be leaving him OP and telling all his friends and family exactly why. You deserve better than this.

OP you have misunderstood what PP meant when saying you have low standards We didn't mean in terms of having a clean tidy home although you have to admit yours is a bit pissy at the moment

We meant in terms of setting the bar so low in what you find acceptable in a partner. Someone who repeatedly drinks excessively, knowing this means they might piss themselves has zero respect for you, or for themselves really.

You have normalised this over time. You come across as having low self esteem because most of us would not tolerate this. There is a huge gap between "Perfect Partner" and "Avoidably Pisses the Bed". Can you see that?

'Keyboard warriors are people that are horrible and say things they wouldnt say in real life to strangers. People they don't know...

Im not talking about friends.

People hide secretly behind keyboards and in real life they wouldn't dream say it to STRANGERS as they might get a clump... '

Well, in that case, you are in error. I don't think it's at all 'awful' to tell someone I think they are living with a disgusting drunk if they came up to me and told me this exact scenario and then asked my opinion, which is exactly what AIBU is. And if such an individual is thus inclined to 'clump' or 'whack' someone after, then they are a criminal. So your little theory that people are 'keyboard warriors' when they respond with their opinion that an OP asks for in AIBU doesn't really hold much water. But again, being one who is inclined to physically assault people or who assumes that he/she is surrounded by violent thugs says rather more about you than me.

6 pints is a huge amount of booze and he may not even be telling you the truth, OP.

What have I said that makes me a keyboard warrior @LondonLassInTheCountry ?

If someone told me their partner had pissed the bed my response in real life would be the same, it's grim. If I give off the vibe that I'm not the type of person to share that with then I'm ok with that, really ok!

My ex did this pissed in the wardrobe, over a chair, in slippers, in bed... it was disgusting always because he pigged drink

He probably can't handle drink if he's not used to drinking much. Also, tiredness could be a factor. YADNBU to be PISSED OFF lol, but you certainly don't need the wolves of MN to turn on you.

For everyone saying it's a massive amount of alcohol, how many of you polish off most of a bottle of wine a night? That's a similar amount of alcohol for a woman. But I'm sure when wine o'clock comes round, you're happy to tuck in.
Yes, it's unfortunate, but it does happen to some people (moreso men I believe, but I don't have any actual stats on that).

Keyboard warriors are people that are horrible and say things they wouldnt say in real life to strangers.

You're wrong. If someone in RL told me that their DH pee'd in their son's bed I would have no hesitation in telling them that it's utterly disgusting.

And in his defence, at least he had the good grace to actually wash the sheets, not leave them soaking into the mattress.

SilverySurfer I guess that's why no-one would share that kind of information with you. I'm the type of friend where you can tell me anything, nothing will shock me, so people do tend to confide in me.

+Hang the wet stained sheet out the front window, tell everyone, including his friends that he does it, and one night when he is drunk in bed, do the same over him and leave him to sort it. He'll soon get the message when his friends find out.

Honestly, some people are far too tolerant.

The only person I know who has done this is alcoholic.

And I have no problem telling anyone that a bottle of wine a night is excessive, will probably make you fat and possibly give you blood pressure problems. If you’re a woman you are also more at risk of breast cancer. So even if you’re not setting your bed you are being foolhardy.

Abra1de. My brother wet the bed until he was 14. Did he deserve to be shamed? Some men/boys/guys/males are not the best with their continence.
OP, do you know if your DH had issues with bedwetting when younger?

Abra1de my point is that a lot of the warriors up in arms over this are probably consuming similar amounts themselves!

Your son wasn’t getting drunk!

Abra1de my point is that a lot of the warriors up in arms over this are probably consuming similar amounts themselves!

Big assumption to make. Nope, not consuming similar amounts myself. Have in the past, though, when I was younger and had more time and money. Still never pissed in the bed, however.

I do not consume the same amounts myself so I do not piss the bed or in exs case shit the sofa

I didn't say LTB. Wouldn't dream of it. I had a drinking problem that became alcoholism and my DH stood by me. Eventually I got sober.

Your DH is probably not an alcoholic. Not yet, anyway. But pissing the bed when you're drunk is nowhere near normal social drinking. He has a problem.

I'd suggest he starts setting a limit on his drinking. So many drinks and then no more. That should stop the bed wetting.

However he may not be able to set a limit on his drinking and keep to it. In that case he's already definitely got a problem.

I know someone whose DP said he was no longer prepared to tolerate her heavy drinking and how it affected her. They were in their early 20s.

15 years later she is so, so grateful to her DP. She's quite sure that if he hadn't given her that ultimatum she'd have gone on to have a serious problem. She says if she's honest about it she was already lying about her drinking and suffering bad effects - like cringing in shame at how she'd let herself down the night before.

I tell this story to make the point that if your DH takes action to limit his drinking he can avoid developing the misery of a full blown drink problem - which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

From what you say, it's time for him to try to limit his drinking. If he can't then you both have your answer. It's vital that he's honest with you about how much he's drinking. If he lies about it that's another red flag. All alcoholics lie.

My ex husband used to do this OP so you have my full sympathy. I don’t think he was an alcoholic but he was someone who liked a social drink and the odd ‘bender’, which is when this would happen. I do think a really serious discussion with your partner is necessary. In my case this behaviour was definitely a factor in our marriage breakdown. I stopped sleeping in the bed with him whenever I knew he was going out... also I dreaded sleeping with him if we were going away w friends for the weekend, or staying with family at Christmas. Basically on any occasion when I knew we’d be drinking... cos being pissed on, or the fear of being pissed on, and the embarrassment that goes with it, is horrible. It’s also the biggest turn-off there is. In my case I eventually ended up preferring to sleep alone and eventually good bye marriage... I’m not telling you this to scare you but I’d take action now before it’s too late!! Now I’m single and looking back I can’t believe I put up with it so long. I never would again. Good luck x

My ex only had to have a couple pints and it would happen, he only drank occasionally, he didn’t have drink problem and rarely drunk.

Just because someone wets the bed after a few pints it doesn’t mean they have a drink problem (apart from thenproblem of peeing of course), my ex was happy to stop drinking altogether after it happened several times, he’s now a ex but still doesn’t drink.