To be totally fed up with this?

[lindsey33]

My grandma is 97 and she has dementia.
She lives in a multi storey council property.
Her last hospital visit was 2 months ago and social services did a assessment,visited property etc and they decided she could stay at home and closed the case.
Now this busy body housing officer has turned around to me and said she doesn't think she is capable of getting out if there was a fire so has contacted social services.
So now they will open the case again and might even say she has to go into a home.
How dare she? She's lived her years and years and no fires.
She's such a bitch,I can't take no more of this stress.
Why did she have to contact social services ?
Just because she thinks as she has dementia she's a risk

She’s not a bitch. She’s someone who has the best interests of your grandmother at heart, and is trying to ensure her safety.

Fires can and do happen (Grenfell). A 97 year old with dementia would very likely not be able to get out safely.

I understand that this is very stressful. But if the assessment proves that your grandmother can live at home, she will get to stay. If it proves that she can’t, she will go somewhere that she is safe and looked after. I know it’s hard and can be very stressful and difficult, but I think it will ultimately be for the best for your grandmother.

YABU. She's 97. She has dementia. She could not get out in case of fire. The fact that there has never yet been a fire does not preclude the possibility that there will be one day - you'd have to be fairly dense to think that.
YABU to call the Housing Officer a bitch. Really fucking unreasonable. She probably has a legal obligation to safeguard vulnerable residents and you'd be first up shouting to the Daily Mail IF your grandmother perished in a fire from which she could not escape.
Your whole tone is combative and unpleasant.
And I bet she didn't 'turn around and say to you' because that suggests that she was back to you when she first spoke to you. Unlikely.

She doesn't have her best interests at heart.
She's constantly badgering people about the most insignificant things.
Because it's not her family members she's messing with.

She can turn a key ..so yes she can get out in case of a fire.

She needs to be in a home tbh.

Why does she need to be in a home?

lindsey33 is this the grandma you care for, but you live with your dad so she's alone overnight? If so the Housing Officer has raised a valid concern. Should the alarm go off when you weren't there she would be petrified.

Is there some issue with you and the housing officer? I recall you talking about her trying to arrange a visit and you wanting to refuse access.

A 97 year old with dementia, I think not wanting them alone in an upstairs flat is pretty sensible.

It is about what is safest for your Gran AND for others around her.

She's lived here years and years and no fires.

Wow, that's a relief. I kind of thought fires were random events, but it turns out they never happen in a place where there hasn't been one before.

Just off now to cancel my house insurance.

The issue is she hates strangers in her house and it causes her to get upset and her hallucinations worse.
It's her home,she should be able to have peace at her age.

You are being so unreasonable. They are doing their job and looking out for her health and safety, you should be supporting them in this.

Would she be able to get out of the building in under a minute two at a push?

If not then she isn't safe and needs to eb somewhere she is.

You may not like it but surely where she is safest is best.

The possibility of dying in a fire is not an insignificant thing, and it takes a lot more than turning a key to get out during a fire. You must know that.

And this woman isn’t saying your grandmother has to be in a home. She’s asking for an assessment to determine whether that is needed. It’s sensible and fair.

An elderly lady with dementia who suffers from hallucinations is probably not fit to live alone. I can't imagine the horror that those in Grenfell Tower went through, but add severe illness to that as well and it's horrific.

Plus it would mean that you get a break Lindsey. Isn't that what you've wanted (and needed) for some time?

It sounds like she has the best of intentions. If something happened and your grandma was injured the housing officer would feel awful if she’d had concerns but had kept quiet about them.

Obviously dementia progresses at different rates and affects people differently but just because she’s lived there years and years doesn’t mean she is automatically still fit to live there - if she is still fine to live there then the assessment will show that, like it did last time. Realistically there were always going to be more assessments, they couldn’t just leave it at the last one they did and then wash their hands of your grandma surely? My grandfather had dementia and went very quickly from being able to be cared for at home by my grandma, to needing to go into a home, and then ultimately being moved to a different “secure dementia unit” because he kept trying to escape. It was very upsetting but was the best, and safest, thing for him.

She needs to be safe in her own home and she isn't. There is a risk of fire.If she has access to cooking facilities there is a risk she could inadvertently cause a house fire. There is a risk that in the event of a fire she would become even more confused and NOT turn her key to escape. There is a risk that someone else would have to risk their life to save your grandmother. The social worker is trying to do her best for all concerned.

Don’t let sentimentality get in the way of what is actually in her best interests

try to see it from her point of view. You grandmother is old and has dementia. What if a fire happens and she gets confused? Who will you blame then? She has hallucianations too? Sorry she needs round the clock care. My great grandmother had dementia too - and she had to go into a home.

This explains why the elderly are a vulnerable group when it comes to house fires.

Actually, your grandmother is more likely to be the cause of a fire if she has dementia. She's not the only person at risk.

You sound very young and naive OP. Let the professionals, who know what they are talking about, do their jobs. YABU.

The whole building where she lives is full of elderly people.
Do they all go in homes?

A housing woman who has zero qualifications In mental health is a professional is She?
Bullshit

She has your grandmother's best interests at heart, If it shows she is safe to live alone, she will get to stay in her flat, if she isn't safe then isn't it better that she goes in a home where she will have the company of others and staff to look after her?

Plus if she has hallucinations and dementia surely she shouldn't be living alone...what if she left something on and forgot about it and caused a fire?..