To be totally fed up with this?

[lindsey33]

My grandma is 97 and she has dementia.
She lives in a multi storey council property.
Her last hospital visit was 2 months ago and social services did a assessment,visited property etc and they decided she could stay at home and closed the case.
Now this busy body housing officer has turned around to me and said she doesn't think she is capable of getting out if there was a fire so has contacted social services.
So now they will open the case again and might even say she has to go into a home.
How dare she? She's lived her years and years and no fires.
She's such a bitch,I can't take no more of this stress.
Why did she have to contact social services ?
Just because she thinks as she has dementia she's a risk

My mother had to go into a home through dementia. I just want to wish you both well during what will be an upsetting and distressing time.

Poor social worker is only doing her job and gets called a bitch for having someones best interests at heart.

They can't win.

Caring for an elderly relative is incredibly hard, and I salute you for what you are doing for your grandmother.

Look at the referral to social services as a good thing. It doesn't mean she will be carted off into a home.

And if you can, try to work with social services - ask what can be done to make her safer at Home - it might be something as simple as having the fire brigade alerted that she is a priority to be rescued, or treating her furniture to make it more fire retardant. Also, social services can often access other technology to make her safer - there may be something which links to the smoke alarm which tells her what to do in a voice she knows, for example (I don't know if that exists, but I know there are similar reminder boxes which can alert someone to e.g remember their keys if they go out).

Definitely work with them, engage with the process and at all stages, try to advocate for your grandmother so she can stay at home while asking social service what they can do to support that.

Meant to say housing officer.

Point is I don't think they deserve this anger directed at them for actually doing their job.

I work in housing and house a mixture of people with general care needs and dementia. People literally change overnight and the housing officer will want to be sure that she’s safe and the people around her are too. There may be no cooker but there could be a toaster she pours water into or a kettle she decides to pour over her hand because pouring is the action so it makes sense. The least restrictive option is always explored by social services and this includes things like telecare and the pendant she wears. The problem comes when they no longer understand what the pendant is for even though it’s religiously around their neck. Or the door needs to be kept locked because it keeps them safe when in reality the person next door has burnt their homeits evacuation time in and someone with dementia is focused on “I must keep my door locked, must not go out until granddaughter says” (I have experience of this so know)
They aren’t being intrusive or nosy. They are doing their jobs to keep everyone safe and healthy in their homes as long as they can. No one wants their loved ones in a care home but everyone wants their loved ones cared for and if that’s at home or in a care home then that’s assessed by many, not just one person in social services with family input. As previous posters have said care homes aren’t cheap and people aren’t put in ones until necessary. Work with them and share your concerns. They are looking after gran and you and allow her to live out her life in dignity with care not be at risk and danger if that is deemed.

OP may need to look at the total (in her/his eyes) committment.

14 hours a day. And yet Gran is on her own overnight.

OK

pennee, no pargraphs, few will read what you have to say. That is life today!

OP yanbu

The fire risk is real but there are lots of ways to manage risks. Going into a home is one, another is to contact your local fire service for a safe and well visit.

http://www.cfoa.org.uk/21422

The fire risk should also be weighed up against the very real risks of moving someone with dementia out of their familiar home environment and into residential care.

Good luck

People with dementia can deteriorate quickly. Tbh it's good that social services come in every couple of months to assess her as it is likely what she can cope with will have changed. They won't recommend that she goes into a home unless it is really necessary as it costs a lot to care for someone in a home. It's cheaper for them to be cared for at home.