Aibu separated parents

[cpjoli]

So as not to drip feed, a background.
Parents are separated and both remarried. Shared custody between both for hslf week each.Mum has a 4 year old with new dh. Mum doesn't work but dh does.
Dad lives with new wife 15 year old step daughter. Both work full time jobs 7am to 5pm.

The 6 year old girl is at dad's house and falls off the mini trampoline and hurts her wrist. In a lot of pain.
Dad and stepmum take her to hospital at 6.30pm. Phone mum who says ok keep me updated. Hospital very busy so still waiting for x-ray at 10pm. Phone mum again who says your problem you deal with it. She's not going to hospital to take over despite both dad and step mum having to work the next day. She says phone in sick I've got a 4 year old to look after.

Dad still at hospital. Step mum gone home to 15 year old dd.

Aibu to think the mum is wrong ?

[MrBirlingsAwfulWife]

I would be happy to agree to disagree if you didn't keep adding judgements to your posts. e.g. Still, it takes all sorts I suppose...

You have decided it's about a parent choosing to watch tv instead of supporting their child. And I'm saying it's more complex than that.

You seem determined to make a virtue out of needing to be fully involved and appear to have no understanding of the challenges that many separated parents face.

Having both parents present because it makes the child happy may not be in their best interests long term. Children may then use such situations to ensure they get both their parents. Without knowing they are doing It, children can manipulate and control.

Let alone the situations in which one parent takes advantage or is inconsistent or .....

[Rosethistle7]

The Dad's responsibility and he should definitely stay either way BUT why doesn't the Mum care enough to be there too?!

[Dorsetdays]

Yes I’m sure the 6 year old threw herself off the trampoline and injured herself deliberately so that she could have both her parents together . Perhaps the question should be why those children feel the need to manipulate the situation if that’s the case.

Or maybe it’s just because they’re a young child, in pain and as parents some of us would want to be there. in the circumstances explained in the OP which is, after all what we’re talking about, the mother made the decision not to go. Totally up to her but for some of us that wouldn’t be the decision we would make and we’re allowed to express that.

[MrBirlingsAwfulWife]

Yes I’m sure the 6 year old threw herself off the trampoline and injured herself deliberately so that she could have both her parents together

You can not really be so dense that you read my post as saying that?

But as you have demonstrated an extraordinary lack of understanding about the situation and what people have been posting maybe ...

[Allthewaves]

I'd be down there like a shot if I was mum but I'd also expect ex dh to stay. Who wouldn't want to be with child when they are hurt

[MrBirlingsAwfulWife]

I will not be engaging further Doresetdays.

[CandyCreeper]

Misses point of thread but isn't it a bit quick that Mum has a 6 year old with ex and then has a 4 year old with new DH?

not really, people on MN seem to jump quickly from relationship to relationship,
i read it on many threads.

[Dorsetdays]

The irony of someone coming back to post again just to say they won’t be engaging further .

The post stated Children may then use such situations to ensure they get both their parents. Without knowing they are doing It, children can manipulate and control. Not sure how I’m being dense by reading anything other than what was actually said...

I don’t think I’m the only person on here saying that as a parent I’d want to be with my child when they were in a&e so it’s clearly not that unusual for some of us.

[Spamfrittersforeveryone]

“Cousin”

[PrettyLovely]

Of course its not unusual I would be up there especially as she is only 6.

[thepoorestoftherichteabiscuits]

To me it’s weird that any parent would have the option of supporting their young child in a&e (who the OP said is clearly in pain etc) but would choose not to because it’s not their “turn”. Doesn’t matter who else is or isn’t there, if you can easily be there I simply don’t understand why you’d choose to sit at home instead.

This exactly, although couldn't be bothered to reiterate my point millions of times if someone disagreed. Each to their own

[Twillow]

The dad should finish dealing with the issue at the hospital. The mum has a 4 yr old and I think it's unreasonable to ask her to bring that child along to the hospital to 'change shifts'.

[BlueJava]

I can't get over the fact that people are talking about whose responsibility it is to be at hospital - if it were my DC I would want to be at the hospital to look after her/him! Wow.

[Dungeondragon15]

Doesn’t matter who else is or isn’t there, if you can easily be there I simply don’t understand why you’d choose to sit at home instead.

Because her being there would mean that the father would leave which wouldn't benefit the child- there would still only be one parent. Arguably going there would be for your own benefit and not the childs. Either that or you think the father isn't a good parent.
Plus the mother says she has a four year old to look after so not just "sitting" at home.