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I don’t want DD to change her name.
372

LemonBeachTowel · 20/11/2018 15:38

DD is 13. She had recently been saying she wants to change her first name as it is “old fashioned” and says that with our surname it sounds like an old ladies name. I’m heartbroken as it is a name we picked for her because we loved it. We can’t really shorten her name and we’ve never used the associated nickname. I just can’t my head around calling her something else. AIBU to keep calling her by her name?

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Littlechocola · 20/11/2018 16:31

I love Rose.
Would she consider Rosalie?

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MaisyPops · 20/11/2018 16:32

MissRhubarb
Someone I knew in school reinvented themselves as pheonix (yes vowels that way round). Apparently their name was awful. It wasn't. It was a perfectly nice name with lots of shortenings. Mum let them change it.

As an adult they rebranded themselves some other name that sounds like a cosplay character (not going to share because it's highly unusual)

Every now and then I wonder How thry manage on DBS forms and job applications listing their random name changes.

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LoveManyTrustfew · 20/11/2018 16:33

Rosa ???

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TimeToRevolutionize · 20/11/2018 16:33

It's hard. A friend of mine many years ago changed her name. She hated her first name so she decided to change it when she was 15. You will have to respect her decision unfortunately!

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loopylass13 · 20/11/2018 16:33

I also hated my surname at 13 and wanted to change it to Milwaukee -that makes me laugh so much now!!!

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ScrambledSmegs · 20/11/2018 16:34

I hated my name too, for years. It's a phase lots of kids go through. However unless you're called something like Ermintrude Finklepump you just suck it up and it's fine.

It's pretty hard to remember that you're called something different constantly too.

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LadyPamplemousse · 20/11/2018 16:34

What about Rose in a different language. The Vietnamese for Rose is Bông hồng and the Greek is Triantáfyllo.

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NoraEphronsneck · 20/11/2018 16:34

PPs saying to tell her that she can't change it until 18. I believe it is 16 by deed poll via solicitor.

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 20/11/2018 16:35

Her life, her name her right. A cooling off period yes but if you dictate no then you will alienate her and as soon as she turns 16 she will be doing it herself.

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SleepNGrow · 20/11/2018 16:35

Rose as a first name does seem a little old fashioned to me, but it could be worse, she could be Ethel or Maude.

Personally I think deed poll is going to be very busy in a few years as all the Amelias and Noahs grow up and want name where they aren't one of many in the classroom.

When you gave her the name it was then hers to do with what she wanted. Let her call herself what she wants, but she can't officially change it until she's 18, so may have changed her mind by then anyway.

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nicebitofquiche · 20/11/2018 16:35

You can call her what you like. If she wants other people to call her something different she can ask them to do so but she can't make them. Personally I'd carry on calling my daughter by the name I gave her.

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Pythonesque · 20/11/2018 16:37

My daughter also told me how much she disliked her name age 13. Conveniently she was changing school so I said to her over the summer, actually, there's no reason why you shouldn't come up with a different name you want to be called at your new school, and introduce yourself as that. So we talked about what she didn't like about her name (hard sounds especially if shortened); and explored alternative possibilities. I pointed out all the names derived from Elizabeth that she could easily justify using (middle name), but equally that anything was an option. The only thing I vetoed was one less common short form of her first name that I can't stand (usual kind of problem - nasty girl in my class in primary).

She actually couldn't find anything she liked so 2 years on is still known by her full name.

I think it's fine to let them "try a name on for size" for a bit.

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NoDancingPolicy · 20/11/2018 16:37

My DD changed her name at 18 - I cried a little inside, but put a happy face on for her because it was HER name. If your DD doesn't like it, she shouldn't have to stick with it to avoid hurting your feelings.

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nicebitofquiche · 20/11/2018 16:37

Posted before I'd finished. I'd also say she can change it by deed poll when she's 16 but she'll have to pay for it.

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mellongoose · 20/11/2018 16:38

What about Rosa? It's top of my list if this next baby is a girl. Love it.

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Ooplesandbanoonoos · 20/11/2018 16:38

Let her be 'known as' what she wants but not legally change it. Likely its a phase but can be changed legally if it sticks long enough.

Ps i like it- does she like celebs? Sam Faiers daughter is called that....maybe research other celebs/other people that would interest her that have the name??

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iamthere123 · 20/11/2018 16:39

I hated my name as a child - it's popular in Wales, but was unheard of in the area of England I lived and was constantly mispronounced and i remember crying about it in reception and in year 7 because none of the teachers could say it! But it led to me meeting my best friend. In yr 8 we went on a trip with the school and though we didn't share any classes we remembered each other because we both had unusual names. The following year we did share classes and we gravitated towards each other because we remembered the others name so that was one awkwardness out of the way. 22 years later we still see each other every weekend, go on holiday together etc. All because of our unusual names!

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ElideLochan · 20/11/2018 16:40

It's not 18,she only needs to be approaching 16

A child's legal name can easily be changed by Deed Poll providingeveryonewith parental responsibility (PR) for the child consents to the name change. If your child is 16 years of age or over (or approaching their 16th birthday), they must apply for theirownDeed Poll for which parental consent is not required.

About Deed Polls - Can I change my child's name?
www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html

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Belindabauer · 20/11/2018 16:43

I much prefer Rose to Evie or Ava .
I think it's because Evie is very here and now, it won't be in several years.

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seven201 · 20/11/2018 16:44

I have a lovely classic name. When I was about 13 (mid 90's) I very nearly changed it to Diana. So glad I didn't!

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seven201 · 20/11/2018 16:45

Not that there's anything wrong with the name Diana. I just don't look like a Diana!

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TheSubtleKnifeAndFork · 20/11/2018 16:45

YANBU to not want her to change her name, but YA(probably)BU to go out of your way to stop her.

FWIW I think Rose is a lovely name - Evie and Ava are all over the place at the moment. I may be biased though as I hate the trend of people using "ie" ending nicknames as proper given names, they might suit babies and little girls but I'm not convinced by them on grown women...

As a compromise would she consider double-barrelling her first name to something like Evie-Rose / Ava-Rose? The way her friends could call her Evie/Ava and her family could still call her Rose... and when she's older she'd have more options.

I hated my name at that aged because it was SO popular - there were three girls just in my form group at secondary school with the same name... and many, many more across the school year... but now I love it (and it's associated nickname which I go by more often - it's not an "ie" one though Grin)

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TheSubtleKnifeAndFork · 20/11/2018 16:46

I'm not convinced by them on grown women - or grown men in case anyone thinks I'm being sexist!

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HollowTalk · 20/11/2018 16:46

My daughter's a Rosie and there were several with the same name in her school - she's in her 20s now. It's hardly an old lady's name in the same way that others are.

BTW the PP who said her stepdaughter changed her name legally at 10 - can you actually do that?

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LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 20/11/2018 16:51

Hi. I hated my name when a child and teenager. I changed it officially when I was 18. I have never regretted it at all and I still love my changed name at 37! I still hate my birth name and feel no connection to it. My dad initially refused to call me by my new name but I had every intention of not speaking to him or responding to him not accepting my choice. He really had to accept it, and he did quite quickly. I would accept her decision but maybe not officially change it until she is a bit older. I am actually proud of myself for having the guts to change it, as so many people have said they wish they had changed theirs but lacked the nerve! I was nervous doing it because of people's responses, including having to take some ridiculing and being told it was a phase. I found this patronising. I think it is better to support her.

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