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I don’t want DD to change her name.
372

LemonBeachTowel · 20/11/2018 15:38

DD is 13. She had recently been saying she wants to change her first name as it is “old fashioned” and says that with our surname it sounds like an old ladies name. I’m heartbroken as it is a name we picked for her because we loved it. We can’t really shorten her name and we’ve never used the associated nickname. I just can’t my head around calling her something else. AIBU to keep calling her by her name?

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SenecaFalls · 20/11/2018 16:20

Rose is such a lovely name; I can see why you are resisting, OP. Also Ava and Evie are a bit old-fashioned as well, aren't they?

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Laiste · 20/11/2018 16:21

I don't like my given name. It has a very similar alternative which i do like and is actually what most people think it is when seen written down. DH calls me by the name i like and so do the people i've introduced myself to as that name. My mother insists on calling me by the old name. Drives me bloody mad.

My youngest DD is now confused because she hears her father calling me one thing and her nan calling me something else. I tell her i like [new name] and that's what she should call me.

I have older DDs. If any of them wanted to change their name i would respect their decision.

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MissRhubarb · 20/11/2018 16:21

Oh, that's a shame - I think Rose is lovely. I can see why she's gone for those - the age she is at the moment. My daughter is 13 and at school with a sea of Ellies, Evies and Edies. I think there's a good chance she'll change her mind back. My name is Frances, which I hated as a child as I was the only one in the school, plus I was in Scotland with an English accent and was picked on for my name and my "posh" accent constantly. Now I don't mind it - I'm Fran to my friends anyway. But at school I'd rather have been just anything that blended in. I think Rose is beautiful though.

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LadyPamplemousse · 20/11/2018 16:22

Rose is the lady.

Ava is the showgirl.

Evie is the housemaid.

All nice in their own way. But Rose is nicest.

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loopylass13 · 20/11/2018 16:22

I gave myself a nickname at 13 that I hate now. I grew into my actually name and I love it. I would encourage your daughter to adopt a nickname and explain often young people are still discovering who they are, that if she still feels the way she feels in 18 months then you'll help her look into name changing options at that point. I'm a Meredith which felt very old lady as a teen.

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Laiste · 20/11/2018 16:23

It's not for all of us to now declare the DD unreasonable for not liking 'Rose'.

Obviously we were all imagining a name we personally don't like!

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AwdBovril · 20/11/2018 16:23

I love the name Rose, it was my first choice for DD but a family member had a baby not long before me & also chose it!

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coolcrispwinter · 20/11/2018 16:23

Just tell her she can do it, herself, when she is 18. The names I liked when I was 13 are different to the ones I liked a few years later

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mm8884448838 · 20/11/2018 16:24

Tell her that she can legally change it when she's 18 but she can ask her friends to call her whatever she wants. You'll try to remember to humour her but us oldies are extremely forgetful aren't we.

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LadyPamplemousse · 20/11/2018 16:24

It's not for all of us to now declare the DD unreasonable for not liking 'Rose'.

That's not how Mumsnet works! Grin

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MissRhubarb · 20/11/2018 16:24

p.s. a girl in my class changed her name at about that age to "Jasmine D. Nightshade". I'm not making this up. She changed it back afterwards.

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DoubleNegativePanda · 20/11/2018 16:24

When I was 12 I wanted to change my name to Montana. Kids that age don't always make the best choices for their future adult selves!

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Jins · 20/11/2018 16:25

I legally changed my old fashioned flower name as soon as I could. It’s very popular now which I find funny as at least two of the people who teased me unmercifully have called their daughters the very same name.

Hating your name is awful. I became a different, more confident person when I waved goodbye to it

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Laiste · 20/11/2018 16:26

LadyPamplemousse Grin

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imtiredasfuck · 20/11/2018 16:27

My name is Rose. I also hated it as as a child and even changed it to something else during my early teens. I refused to open xmas/birthday cards unless they were addressed to my new name . Now I find that extremely embarrassing.

I grew to like being called Rose, and even Rosie. Probably changed my mind and liked it at 15 or so. I also get a lot of compliments on it from people of all ages. I wouldn't change it now, and I don't meet many other people with the name.

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Darkstar4855 · 20/11/2018 16:27

I didn’t like my name at 13 because I thought it was boring but I dread to think what I might have changed it to given half a chance! I think it’s a phase a lot of us go through.

I definitely wouldn’t let her legally change it but if it’s bothering her that much you could let her change it informally amongst her friends and family for a while and see how it goes.

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abacucat · 20/11/2018 16:27

My mother changed her name as soon as she turned 18. She hated her name. So for some it is not just a phase.
Let he be called whatever she likes, but don't change it legally - she can do that at 18 if she wants.

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ErrolTheDragon · 20/11/2018 16:28

'Rose' is lovely - its probably what I'd have chosen for my DD but DH wasn't keen. But I still think it's best to go with the flow and humour your DD (insofar as you can remember to) - it may be a phase or it may not. Ava or Evie sound at least as old fashioned to me as Rose, tbh but they're pleasant, 'normal' names.

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AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 20/11/2018 16:28

Evie and Ava are lovely and very "trendy", which is why I suspect she wants them, as Rose is not currently, but a beautiful name nonetheless. It's also timeless. I would not let her change it. I hated my name when I was her age and love it now. I would have been gutted now if my parents had let me change it to the name I wanted (I won't insult by saying what it was but it was VERY of the era 🤦).
I think the feelings and thoughts of our kids at that age must be listened to and fair consideration given, but it's our job to guide them and help them make good decisions.
I would say if you still feel the same at 18, you can do what you like and I'll support you. Until then, no. Changing names is a big deal.

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nokidshere · 20/11/2018 16:29

The thing is that you can use any name you like, there is no need to change it legally. Tell her to choose a new name and she can be known by that one for a while and see how she gets on.

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loopylass13 · 20/11/2018 16:29

I love Rosa - Rosalie - very twilight and fits with the current Esme popularity. Rose is a nice name but I hate Rosie etc.

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deste · 20/11/2018 16:30

Sit she doesn’t like Rose or Rosie would she like Zizi. (Zeezee)

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LadyPamplemousse · 20/11/2018 16:30

What about just Ro?

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tootstastic · 20/11/2018 16:31

At that age I wanted to be called Joanne....enough said Grin just smile, she'll grow out of it. And I love Rose.

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adaline · 20/11/2018 16:31

Rose is nice but it's quite popular these days - could it be that that's the problem but she doesn't want to admit it?

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