DH got a dog?

[Vi0lett]

Yesterday my husband and 10 year old daughter came back with a puppy- I was furious as this wasn’t discussed and my 16 year old daughter and I hadn’t agreed to it. My DD16 is also quite scared of dogs in general and although she’s not scared of the puppy she says she’s not entirely comfortable being home alone with it. I have a colleague who would love to take it and I know it would be giving the dog a good home but do I take it away from my DD10 who has already grown close to him?

Looks like a dogue de bordeaux, French mastiff. They are quite good family dogs but yes, very strong.

I have a mastiff breed (bull), I am young and bought him when I moved out. They are not normal dogs (I had 4 growing up) and do require more training and constant work. Mine is easy peasy though.

Hope you make the right decision for your family, they are an expensive breed to insure, feed, castrate and all vet bills will automatically be higher. I can't believe your DH put you in this situation. Puppies can't be left alone, need letting out throughout the night etc. Big bull breeds need extra specialisation with other dogs etc.

FFS don’t get another dog, none of you are responsible enough - a stuffed toy would be more suitable

Agree with costa. You’re getting rid of this dog to consider getting another - THEYRE ALL HARD WORK. You hear it everywhere, even on this thread ‘get this breed great family dog’ about every single breed. I have 2 mongrels and they’re all just as hard work as the next. The only extra precaution you would have to take if you raised it well is lead training. Labradors aren’t small dogs and unless you’ve done some decent research and rang dog trainers etc I wouldn’t be giving it up to get another. Just give him to a good home and stay dog free, its very irresponsible and setting a bad example for you dds from both yours and your dh side. ‘Here’s a dog’ ‘i don’t want this type of dog let’s get rid’ ‘let’s talk about getting this type of dog’ etc. They’re not disposable and they’re all good if raised properly.

I'd go absolutely bloody ballistic if my DH brought a puppy home without talking to me first. And I love dogs.

Having said that I have a 5yo, 3yo a 4 week old baby and a cat so that may be why.

In your situation I would return the dog. Your younger DD will get over it and maybe you can discuss the possibility of a dog in the future but after discussing it as a family and making the decision together.

Mastiffs are also huge and have a lot of breed related health issues too.

The majority of pups grow up to be nice dogs if properly socialized, introduced to people, other dogs etc. They're strong dogs, mastiff types so lots of lead walking needed to train him to walk nicely.

Bar the anesthetics, he may be no different to a Labrador (most aggressive nasty dog I ever met was a lab). Probably a good idea to meet the mum and if possible the dad to see what their temperaments are like, it's often a good indication of how the pup may turnout.

I'm just horrified that your DH would do this. He's stupid to bring home an animal for whom he'll be responsible for potentially 15 years, no thought as to ensuring the family had the experience of picking him etc. So dumb and so selfish.

Ffs please don't talk about getting another dog already you haven't even 'got rid' of this one yet !!

Op your husband was a dick. But you need to be responsible here and forget talk of dogs anytime soon. You clearly aren't ready as a family.

I have at no point said we’re getting another dog. Simply said I’m open to discussion on the matter- meaning for the future

'Open to discussion' is fine and at least your H admits he was adick and is getting things sorted so the dog goes elsewhere.

I wouldn't have a dog, or a cat, under any circumstances. I'm allergic to everything with fur. I can't be doing with people who think it's OK to inflict animals on other people who really don't want to share their home with any.

Good stuff Violett - hopefully this thread will have given you loads to discuss and practical info to sort. Head to the Doghouse if you need more.

Re drool.
Back in the seventies when nobody gave a shit my parents sold a sofa. Man came with no money and a large boxer dog. A swap was proffered. My dad said yes.

As mum tells it after a week of 'wiping slobber off every surface' she ordered dad to return the dog. His owner apologised and said he still couldn't pay for the sofa. Dad told him to keep it.

To be fair, if you're getting a dog, may as well keep that one. I love mastiffs, though they do drool. Ours was soft as butter. Bit thick too, but hey.

Can't you return the dog to the breeder? The colleague should have the chance to choose their own dog and dogs should not be blithely handed off to others by their impulsive purchasers.

I’d think long and hard about a Labrador. They vary so much. My old lab - now on the rainbow bridge was a nightmare to train. He wasn’t the brightest and found life so funny and such fun. He was the loveliest dog but I wouldn’t have wished him on anyone, who didn’t want to be constantly in training mode for the first few years of his life. He was one of those forever young dogs. (I seem to attract the forever puppies). Other labs lap up training and we all know they make great guide / sensory dogs.

As I said upthread I have a cockapoo. Mine is small and a toy poodle cross. He is highly intelligent and hardly needs training. I know this isn’t quite the case with all cockapoo s but being small helps imo. The downside is he doesn’t do well alone as he’s a nervous dog. But I’m not out much.

Before you decide upon a dog you really need to do some reading up on temperaments and training needs. Personally I’d go for a small to medium dog for your 16 yo dd. My dd was little when we got our dog and nervous of soppy / playful dogs. I know she wouldn’t have coped with the puppy stage of my lab for example. As was she would run away screaming. She is fine now he’s an adult and she’s a few years older and she loved him and desparately wanted him.

I hope the dog has now been returned to the breeder. I agree with the above comment about the colleague choosing their own dog. Taking into account the fact the breeder doesn't seem to concerned about where the dog ended up, I would bet it's parents haven't had health testing either. If I were the colleague I would be looking at a reputable breeder, not just taking a puppy a friends idiot husband took on without a second thought.

Don't forget about rescues, Op if you do get a dog in the future.

If your DD is scared of dogs I don't think a Labrador is the best choice. As puppies they're destructive and incredibly mouthy. I work somewhere that allows dogs and every single young Labrador that has come in has been mouthy, hyper and incredibly bouncy until at least 2-3 years old. The one exception being the one that's trained as a working dog and has an older Labrador friend that clearly calms her down.

Yes, they're biddable and love to please but they're also quite big and strong for their size. Personally I don't see the appeal for families with young children - they're a lot of work and I know they're very strong chewers and can be very destructive in the first few years of their life.

Whenever someone recommends them I am always reminded of a post I read on the Doghouse a few years ago. A lady had a young Labrador puppy (I think it was about 10 months old) and left it uncrated while she had a shower - she was only out of the room about 15 minutes and in that time it had toileted on the floor and eaten an entire sofa! The puppy/teen stage with a Labrador is a lot tougher than it can be with other breeds, and I say that as someone with a 10mo beagle who drives me to distraction some days!

Vi0lett I’m pleased this has opened up a conversation in your family about whether a dog is right for you and what sort of dog to consider. It could bring you all many years of pleasure if thought through properly and you get the right dog. It may be that that’s not a puppy at all, but a dog that’s 6m-1y old; at that age they are still very puppy and great fun for kids but the initial sleepless nights and toilet training are (hopefully) done. You also have a fairly good idea what sort of temperament/energy level you are getting in to. If you go to a good rescue centre they will be able to tell you exactly what to expect, what areas the dog needs more work on (and at that age any dog will need further training) and so on. I would be wary of taking on an older dog privately e.g. Gumtree or Pets4Homes etc, unless it’s from a friend and you know the dog very well. Alternatively if you want to buy a puppy go see the parents, have a list of questions to ask in advance and don’t take the kids until you’ve decided the litter is suitable good luck!

i'm glad that you have resolved this. I've seen way too many episodes of 'its me or the dog' where someone has brought home a cute puppy or several cute puppies on a whim with no proper plans or provision of the appropriate care for that particular dog breed and then they grow up and its chaos and the family is living in fear and the dog is desperately unhappy!