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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH got a dog?

217 replies

Vi0lett · 19/11/2018 06:15

Yesterday my husband and 10 year old daughter came back with a puppy- I was furious as this wasn’t discussed and my 16 year old daughter and I hadn’t agreed to it. My DD16 is also quite scared of dogs in general and although she’s not scared of the puppy she says she’s not entirely comfortable being home alone with it. I have a colleague who would love to take it and I know it would be giving the dog a good home but do I take it away from my DD10 who has already grown close to him?

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 19/11/2018 17:05

An entire male of any large breed is no joke.

And for the dogs health it is recommended large breeds are not neutered until they are fully grown which can be more than 18 months of challenging behaviour from a powerful dog which your dd might struggle with. Does your dh know this? Send the pup back so it can go a home that is prepared for it.

ReadWriteDraw · 19/11/2018 17:08

I grew up around dogs and have two now (whippets - easy, lovely family dogs) but I would be very nervous Around a dog like this. Be prepared for negative reactions out on dog walks and nervous parents whenever your dog goes with 100m of their child.

metronome1 · 19/11/2018 17:28

I remember coming home when our dog was a puppy. We had been gone for 1 hour and he had eaten half the sofa. That was my little staff.
Just Googled this dog and I'm pretty sure it could eat half the house. Lovely looking but very big and very strong.

fishonabicycle · 19/11/2018 17:29

Your husband has been really inconsiderate and thoughtless. Dogs (particularly puppies) are hard work, and a huge commitment. I would be really angry if mine did that - its his responsibility to explain to your 20 year old why you can't keep it. What a twat.

Sunshiness · 19/11/2018 17:59

Surely you will take it back, OP? I love dogs but that's a challenging breed and I feel so bad for your older DD. (and the DDog)

OliviaStabler · 19/11/2018 18:09

How long do you really think he was planning this OP? As it was his mate, maybe he had put dibs on one of the puppies weeks ago?

Hairyfairy01 · 19/11/2018 18:09

I had a French mastiff years ago. Lovely dog towards me, but very aggressive towards some other dogs. Once it got hold of one it would not let go. Therefore she was very difficult to walk as needed needed to go somewhere dog free. She walked lovely on the lead (loads of training) however if she wanted to go I wouldn't have been able to stop her, she was just to strong. And they drool everywhere, one flick of the head and large lines of spit are hanging from your ceiling and over the walls. I got though a roll of Kitchen towel a day just in drool. She also had lots of heart problems which are common with this breed which cost me thousands. She was a lovely dog but far from easy, and that's without a bull dog mix to go with it.

Original poster
Vi0lett · 19/11/2018 18:12

I think dog will be going to colleague after all of this- too much for us. It has however opened up further discussion with DH (who admits he has been an absolute dickhead and is taking on telling dd and resolving any issues with her afterwards) about getting a, more friendly, family dog like a Labrador

OP posts:
Applepudding2018 · 19/11/2018 18:17

FFS

When we bought our dog after many years deliberation, we had long consideration of what breed would be appropriate for us. Basically because I knew that I would end up doing mist if the looking after, and I would not be in a house with a dog I didn't feel comfortable with.

I can't believe that on top of the rest of your DH's stupidness he has actually bought that particular cross breed. Nowhere has he considered what is an appropriate dog for your household, just that his mate has puppies they need to get rid of.

Of course the puppy looks cute. They do, but that's not the point.

I was going to say that he should be returned to his original family but I'm worried now as to how responsible they will be with finding another home for him and whether he's going to end up in s home more inappropriate than yours .

I'm not sure j can see a good outcome.

Applepudding2018 · 19/11/2018 18:20

OK @Vi0lett cross post. Hopefully your colleague can offer him a suitable home and life. Please really think seriously about what breed will suit you. Labradors can be a big handful when they are older puppies and require a lot of space.

BentNeckLady · 19/11/2018 18:21

It sounds like a sensible decision for you, and for the dog. It doesn’t sound like a dog for first time reluctant dog owners.

Whatwhatt · 19/11/2018 18:25

getting a, more friendly, family dog like a Labrador

I can strongly recommend a cocker spaniel if you're looking for a family dog. Hes a bit crazy and needs lots of attention but he's the absolute heart of our family and is just amazing with the two DC. They wouldn't be without him and he's never once snapped or become angry at them playing about/clambering all over him!

He gets us all out as a family on adventures and then snuggles on the sofa with us when we're home.

crispysausagerolls · 19/11/2018 18:29

adoggymama

Mine is too - but they are the most high maintenance of dogs 😂😂 yours looks gorgeous

Branleuse · 19/11/2018 18:42

its cute, but that dog is going to be massive, drooly, strong and bouncy.

Its cute now, but I really wouldnt want that dog

BrokenWing · 19/11/2018 18:47

Unless the colleague has already fully researched and specifically looking for a mastiff the kindest thing to do would to be too hand the pup over to a rehoming centre to find an appropriate home.

theOtherPamAyres · 19/11/2018 18:48

Your life has just changed direction for the next 13 -15 years and you've had no control or say in the matter.

Your husband knew exactly what he was doing. He put his own wants and needs first. He involved your little one so that there was further pressure on you - emotional, gut-wrenching blackmail. He was too cowardly and manipulative to discuss it with you.

Your children will leave home before the dog does. Your days, evenings, routines, holidays, weekends etc will have to accomodate a dog. Why would anyone put up with such a life-changing bad decision?

Personally, I would pack up the puppy's things and drop it back at the breeders without any discussion, sooner rather than later - for everyone's sake.

You're not a doormat that can be easily manipulated, I suspect. Flowers

Zofloramummy · 19/11/2018 19:00

Labradors are a great family dog for a really outdoorsy active family. Otherwise they end fat and unhappy. And they are quite large!

Zofloramummy · 19/11/2018 19:01

Personally I’d go for a smaller breed with less inherent health problems. If you are as a family going to do this, then you need to do some research.

Original poster
Vi0lett · 19/11/2018 19:13

Colleague has been talking about looking for a mastiff which is why I approached him, he knows what it entails
And I’m in no way saying we’re getting a Labrador, I’ve said that I’m open to discussion on a more family dog and this time it would be done with proper research and input from everyone

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 19/11/2018 20:15

How much did your DH pay just out of interest?

Missingstreetlife · 19/11/2018 20:38

Get a rescue greyhound, lovely pets

Snappymcsnappy · 19/11/2018 20:48

My old neighbour had a french mastiff/dogue de bourdeux.
He was really lovely, no trouble at all.
If the pups parents have nice, stable, friendly temperaments (temperament is largely inherited) as long as you socialise it i would have thought it would likely be fine.

No breed is automatically ‘family friendly’ and I warn you that labradors are big dogs and generally quite a bit more boisterous and lively than the mastiffs who tend to be quite laid back.

They are also very popular and with popularity comes breeding for profit at the expense of temperament.
I have come across quite a few aggressive labradors/golden retrievers.

I know which one I personally would opt for.

pigsDOfly · 19/11/2018 20:50

AmayaBuzzbee You say the DH is not a first time dog owner. I read it that he had dogs growing up, not the same thing as being an experienced dog owner as an adult and being responsible for all training and expenses relating to the animal.

Snappymcsnappy · 19/11/2018 20:53

Although, as previous posters said they are very big and hard to control IF something goes wrong.

I would look for a smaller, less common breed.
The more popular the breed the more likely you are to get a bad temperament/bad health imo

JaimeLannister · 19/11/2018 21:19

Poor dog. His new home away from his mother and littermates, he will look to you for safety and reassurance. Then he has to do it all again with another home and family.

If the person who bred him gave a fuck, they wouldn't want him passed on to someone they haven't met. But I'm guessing he or she just chucked two dogs together to make some money, without caring about the health or welfare of the very large animals they are producing. I bet half the litter and up in rescue in a year's time.

And then there are stupid twats like this husband who probably thought more about what to wear today than about buying a 12 year commitment. Great lesson for his children.

But it's ok, just pass it to someone else and get a new one.

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