DH got a dog?

[Vi0lett]

Yesterday my husband and 10 year old daughter came back with a puppy- I was furious as this wasn’t discussed and my 16 year old daughter and I hadn’t agreed to it. My DD16 is also quite scared of dogs in general and although she’s not scared of the puppy she says she’s not entirely comfortable being home alone with it. I have a colleague who would love to take it and I know it would be giving the dog a good home but do I take it away from my DD10 who has already grown close to him?

You don't have a puppy problem, you have a DH problem.

I have been known to bring home puppies, kittens and horses BUT I deal with all the animals and DH knows that the number of pets always go up.

I like dogs a lot, and would go completely ballistic if DH did this.

My small breed dog is getting older, and DH made some noises about getting another one when she passes (or poss before). He changed his mind when I told him the only reason that I do all the walking, all the vet’s etc is because she was mine before DH and I met, and that any dogs bought as a couple will be a joint responsibility. All he does with Ddog is let her out for a pee when he goes for a fag.

Someoneupthread talked about returning the dog before you got too attached etc.
Speaking as someone whose dh did similar, I am a year in and not attached at all.
I'm quite aware I'd be in the minority but I haven't fallen in love ' with the dog and only become more resentful as the days go on. Having a dog you don't want can cause much unhappiness and anxiety.
If you are a dog lover you won't understand but if you don't want to own a dog it doesn't always just magically sort itself out.

Well reading the OP's update it does sound that she's more cross about her DH getting the puppy and planning to do so without telling her, rather than being put out about the actual physical fact of the puppy.

Her OP made it sound as if the whole thing was a totally unplanned whim on his part and she'd had this small creature dumped on her.

So cute

This sounds like something my DH would do!
While it is quite disrespectful I can only assume it was something he felt sufficiently strongly about, he’d mentioned it a lot, best part of his childhood etc.
He’s never done anything like it before you said.

It might all work out fine.
Millions of people have dogs, it’ll probably be just fine.

He is ever so cute

Perhaps your DH thought given he was prepared to put the work in he didn't see it as a big deal. Have you ever spoken about getting a dog before?

He’s very cute - but am I right in thinking it’s a mastiff? Pretty big dog

That’s going to be a huge dog. Unless it’s a very bad photo. I’m thinking turner and hooch type....!

Very cute!

But ... what on earth was he thinking?

Practically, is your DH home to look after the puppy all day, or is he expecting you to do it, or your 16 year old? What is your family set-up like for having someone around all day for the dog?

Sounds like a useful opportunity to teach your youngest that this kind of whim doesn’t always work out. If you decided to had the dog over to your colleague, or whoever, and she’s upset, tough, that’s her dad’s fault for saying it was okay to take it home and disrespecting you.

Cute my arse, it's a bloody mastiff, it'll be huge, very strong and require a lot of training, not a first time dog.

I thought Mastiffs (or at least a type of them) were on the uk banned dogs list? Am I going crazy?😂

It might all work out fine.
Millions of people have dogs, it’ll probably be just fine.

Or, it might not.
Hundreds of dogs are in rehoming shelters every year. They were probably just fine, but their home situation wasn't because the people who took on the responsibility didn't think it through properly.

OP, if you are keeping the puppy you all need to commit, as a family, and commit fast.

As PP mentioned, socialisation window is NOW. Miss stuff out now and you will make your life and the dog's life harder. So if you're going to rehome do it now and do it responsibly. If not, start reading up and get involved.

Ugly (big) things when they grow up OP and look super strong! 😱 probably have to be kept on a lead constantly too.

That’s going to be a big strong dog. I reluctantly gave in to dh wanting a dog over 10years ago now. I still don’t love the dog. I tolerate it. To him it’s family to me it’s a pet with a life expectancy of 9-12 years which comes with obligations and ties I don’t want.

So glad to read that chillpizza
Thought I was the only person in the world who felt that way.

It’s half French mastiff half American bulldog- will it be awful when older? I was under the impression French mastiffs were good around children but maybe that’s been influenced by a sweet one I know

My goodness you're going to have a very strong dog on your hands. Mastiffs are big breeds and bulldogs are also muscular and exceptionally strong. Of course (like any dog) it can be trained to walk nicely on a lead but be prepared for the teenage years to be very difficult. My dog is 15kg and 10 months old and when he pulls, he's strong. It can be very frustrating on walks when all he wants to do is pull and pull.

Have you seen Embarrassing Pets? There are some owners on there who've needed surgery/physio because their dog pulls so much. If you keep him, you need to make sure you go to training and that he's taught to walk on a loose-lead and to heel ASAP.

I hope your DH is good at training as that’s going to be a very powerful dog.

I would have thought a smaller, less strong dog would be more appropriate as a family pet.

Size does matter, our 6 month golden doodle has a lovely temperament but is just bloody huge and has almost outgrown my boot space and is hard to pull on the lead oh and I've almost done my back in trying to get him in and out of the boot. Oh and he may sit happily under pub tables but is a trip hazard for everyone

I love him but I'd be happier without him

My ex did this, and when we spilt, I ended up with the dog as thought it cruel to rehome, and I am more of a cat person. Your DH is an ass OP.

He is gorgeous but please don’t say you’ve named him before you’ve even decided if you’re keeping him?

In regardless to what he’ll be like when older that’s all down to you (or DH I’m this case) and how well he is trained.

half French mastiff half American bulldog

Bloody hell.

Not sure your 16 year old who isn't keen on dogs is going to feel any more enamoured of a teenage mastiff-bulldog cross.

I love all dogs, but I think you are under-prepared for this particular puppy and you need to get information and a plan FAST.

Large dogs can be trained as easily as small breeds, but a misbehaving small breed is easier to tolerate than a large breed dog. A small dog that jumps up is less threatening, a small dog that pulls on the lead is more manageable, etc.

Also given your daughter has a fear of dogs I’d perhaps wrongly assumed your DH would have come home with a lab/retriever/spaniel type dog.

Nothing whatsoever wrong with a mastiff in the right hands however it wouldn’t be my choice where someone is scared of dogs.