I have done something terrible and I need to confess.

[StressfullTimes]

I have name changed through embarrassment and so this thread can't be linked to my future posts as admitting to this more than once is unthinkable. I am at the point of desperation and can't see away out of the mess I am in and fear of just making it worse. I had to move area not through choice but it was a necessary move, I was re-homed by a housing association it was at the start of the year. I moved and started up home with not very much and 11 months down the line I am still in the same boat. I was lucky in the fact that I got a grant from the housing people of a cooker, fridge freezer and washing machine so didn't need to buy them but all the other things I need I still don't have. I try and put a little away each week to save up for one thing at a time but never seem to get there. Money is tight and I know it is for many and there are many people worse of than me but I am so desperate right now I am considering a Provident loan. It would solve my short term problem of my ds has grown and I have no cash to buy anything but would make my next few months tougher than they are now as I can't afford the repayments. I did something on Friday I was not proud but desperation took over, I am not excusing my behaviour I am very ashamed of myself just trying to explain what drove me to it. My ds lost a jumper at school I can't afford to replace it so looked in lost property thankfully it was there so I took it back but I also took a pair black jogging bottoms in his size that weren't his so he had something to wear this weekend. I know it was wrong and I feel very guilty this behaviour is really not who I am.

Oh my lord, so glad you only took the joggers, was so nervous about what it was! Be kind to yourself, we all make mistakes

Don’t worry too much, we have several parents that do this at my dc school. As long as there’s no name in it no one will ever know.

Every child born before that date they introduced the two child rule is entitled to be claimed for, even if you claim after the date that this rule was imposed.

STOP thinking about it. It’s really not a big deal. They were probably unclaimed anyway.
What size clothes is your son wearing? Happy to post a couple of bits. What isn’t his school uniform? Shirts or badged jumpers? Can he wear plain jumpers etc

The other child has left the school so will never collect the joggers so no point in returning them.

Can you join a credit union. Start saving and they will give you a low interest loan. I think you have to save for 10 weeks but it sounds as though that may not be doable.

Go to local churches and ask for help - even if you don’t attend I am sure they will help you.

Have you tried a food bank? Our local one has clothes too.

Try the free sites like freecycle it’s amazing what people give away. There are also sites on Facebook you could try ( people on our local site go crazy if you don’t say please and thank you when asking for stuff - just a reminder as I don’t want you feeling worse than you do already).

PP posted a link to the benefits calculator which will hopefully help.

Good luck

PM'd you OP x

I have a pair of H&M black jogging bottoms in age 9-10 that I was about to take to the charity shop. If you'd like them, OP, please let me know and send me your address or any other address that you can easily collect from and I will post them to you.

I don't think you should feel bad about the others, especially as the child has left the school and won't be looking for them. But if another pair would be useful to you, please let me know. DD has grown out of them and I want them out of the house. They were originally from the boys department if that matters to you. I just washed them to take to the charity shop.

Oh get away with you OP - it's a pair of long forgotton joggers - no way should you berating yourself so much. You're doing the best you can and way we as a society treat our most vulnerable is vile.

For those saying return the joggers get a grip of yourself ffs - this is someone on the bones of their backside not your common criminal - she's rummaged in a lost property box - I'm disgusted that posters are claiming some moral highground and saying 'as long as you return them'

Vile

If you are on income based benefits you can claim a budgeting loan that is paid back interest free through your benefits, you can claim up to £1500. Does your housing association do furniture packages that you can "rent" for a very small increase in rent? I'm a council tenant & I know of people who had nothing doing this, they give you a catalogue & you pick what you want, if you move & want to keep the furniture later on you can buy it for a very small nominal sum. You can apply to your local council for a grant for school uniform, I would ring them & ask. I was totally skint when I became a single parent & I bought some bits of local sale groups on Facebook, I never paid more than £20 for anything. It does get better, it just takes time, I had to do my weekly shop at Farmfoods as it was the only place I could afford to shop in the beginning, make sure you are claiming everything you can, like warm homes discount which is £140 off your electricity bill every winter.

the child whose name was in the joggers has left the school???
i guess they could still belong to someone else though op?
do you have jumble sales going on in your area?
you should have charity shops.

God OP I thought we were about to read about some awful crime like bank robbery or fraud! Don't worry, wash them and pop them back under the guise of a mistake.

yes i do think something should be returned if it belongs to someone else, the op later said that the child had left?? if that was the case then im not sure you would be beating yourself up so much about it..

I can't see that this has been suggested as yet, but maybe look to your local food bank for support. I know my nearest one has loads of clothes donated, especially local uniforms and winter coats. No need for a food bank referral for this either, just stock they keep for anyone who would like to make use of it.

Just seen that foodbanks have been suggested (that'll teach me to read more thoroughly!)
Also, I wouldn't feel too awful about the joggers, especially as the owner is no longer at the school... pop them back after a wash if you feel you should, no harm done

i used to work in a school office and most of the lost property is NEVER claimed. Every term we used to put a note out to all forms to come and check out lost property as everything without a name tag was going to charity.

The child who the joggers belonged to left the school before half term not that that justifies it.

Oh

Sorry haven't RTFT but hopefully you can speak to someone sympathetic and discreet at school about your circumstances - there are uniform grants available for those who are struggling. Please don't feel bad - you are in bad straits right now, I'm so sorry , and desperate times call for desperate measures. I hope things improve soon. Best wishes x

Council grant for under form is only once a year for secondary kids. It's 30 quid. Charity shops are often just as expensive as primarni or Tesco.

The only way you'll manage to keep your house and feed and clothe three kids is to do all the nicking of lost property, using food banks and work on the side you can get.

And what's more don't feel guilty about it. If society is organised so unequally it leaves you with no choice. The alternative is to starve or lose your house.

Do every wheeze scam and deal you can OP, you're fighting for your kids survival and you need to get real and toughen up. And don't listen to anyone who hasn't been in your situation. They haven't got a fucking clue.

PS I'd go back to the lp in school and see what else you can get. Do you get free school meals?

The child who the joggers belonged to left the school before half term not that that justifies it. Yes it does justify it. OP the fact that you think this is a big deal shows how utterly ground down by all this you are, you cannot go on like this. Go to your nearest CAB and explain they will help and have food bank tokens, or ask to see the welfare officer at the school, or see if there is an SVP in your area - a Society of St Vincent Depaul office or shop - go in and say you are having trouble coping and have 3 children and they will help you with pretty much anything.

Have a plan for tomorrow, write down any of our suggestions that sound do-able once the kids are at school - but please make sure you tell someone about your situation.

Ebay/schpock bundles of clothes or Jumble sales

Agree the charity shops can be more expensive than new

I wish I’d seen this in March. My son’s outgrown clothing was all in age group bundles in the loft and I got sick of it up there so, took it all to the charity shop. There was some Primark, Bowden from grandma and lots of M&S stuff. I don’t know what I was saving it for (he’s 17 now) but you’d have been welcome to have it.

Don’t worry too much. Take them back after washing. Or don’t. Up to you. Kids are always losing stuff/swapping and changing stuff. Charity shops can be excellent for kids clothing.

*WorraLiberty Sun 18-Nov-18 23:45:04
The child who the joggers belonged to left the school before half term not that that justifies it.

Oh*

Worra I tend to agree with most of your posts but obvious sarcasm I don't agree with

Can you expand on your 'oh' comment?

Well my 'oh' comment relates to the fact that information should definitely have been in the opening post.

IMO it changes everything, as clearly there's not another worried, desperate parent out there in the same boat as the OP, who now has to worry about finding the money to replace the stolen joggers.

If your struggling to furnish the house ask the hb people at the council offices if there's any local furniture schemes. There's one near me that does free second furniture to anyone claiming hb.

For clothes rather than a loan apply for an account with very. As long as you can be strict with yourself. You can pay your purchases off over 3 months or longer, but only do this if you can pay, the interest is horrendous if you only to minimum payments.

Op I too have boys' clothes I could post you in 9-10 and 11-12 for future use. Please PM me if you'd like them posted. I have all sorts of toys/ books if you're near me.