I have done something terrible and I need to confess.

[StressfullTimes]

I have name changed through embarrassment and so this thread can't be linked to my future posts as admitting to this more than once is unthinkable. I am at the point of desperation and can't see away out of the mess I am in and fear of just making it worse. I had to move area not through choice but it was a necessary move, I was re-homed by a housing association it was at the start of the year. I moved and started up home with not very much and 11 months down the line I am still in the same boat. I was lucky in the fact that I got a grant from the housing people of a cooker, fridge freezer and washing machine so didn't need to buy them but all the other things I need I still don't have. I try and put a little away each week to save up for one thing at a time but never seem to get there. Money is tight and I know it is for many and there are many people worse of than me but I am so desperate right now I am considering a Provident loan. It would solve my short term problem of my ds has grown and I have no cash to buy anything but would make my next few months tougher than they are now as I can't afford the repayments. I did something on Friday I was not proud but desperation took over, I am not excusing my behaviour I am very ashamed of myself just trying to explain what drove me to it. My ds lost a jumper at school I can't afford to replace it so looked in lost property thankfully it was there so I took it back but I also took a pair black jogging bottoms in his size that weren't his so he had something to wear this weekend. I know it was wrong and I feel very guilty this behaviour is really not who I am.

Don't beat yourself up about a pair of joggers. Don't get a payday loan either, ask friends and family to help before you do that.

Can someone tell me how I can PM someone? I'm on iPhone. Been trying to find out how for ages.

OP I have pm you, hope that's ok.

So about 2 years ago I was the lady who posted about being sick of having wet and cold feet as I didn't have appropriate shoes.

I remember your original thread.

I am very glad you are out of the horrible relationship you were in. Remember - it may be a struggle now, but you have choices and you have the power back to make things better. They will get better.

Glad to hear you have made a start on looking into practical things. Definitely get advice on your benefits.

If you are getting things bouncing and charges applied, then a chat with CAB or CAP would be really really helpful for you.

Chin up! Things will get better ;-)

Also - if you go over to Money Matters, and start a new thread with all your outgoings and income listed, you'll get heaps of good advice.

11 months is nothing really in terms of having to build a new life. You're doing fine, honestly, and I 100% bet that school is not going to care about the cake sale or the joggers.

It’s perfectly fine, don’t beat yourself up about it, when you do have more money I’m sure you will pay it forward and donate to a charity

Thing is, someone else might have taken your child's jumper, which thankfully they didn't. What if those jogging bottoms had belong to another child whose mum or dad had very little, like yourself? Then if they could not replace those jogging bottoms, they might have taken someone else's jacket theoretically speaking.

I'm not judging anyone here, but just trying to show another perspective - taking what does not belong to you can lead to a never -ending cycle.

I can sort of understand taking stuff that isn't labelled, but if a child's name is clearly printed on the inside of the garment, it should just be left where it is.

Op I am sorry you are having such a hard time just now.
If you search gumtree freebies and you location such as London it will show you free things in your local area such as clothes, furniture.
Don't be too proud to accept help. It could happen to anyone of us.
Good luck

To PM click the 3 dots on the OPs post and click PM

Hope everything gets better for you OP X

Please, please speak to your child teacher/head of year or someone.
Schools sometimes have a bit of extra money for families in need.

Use both food banks. Maximise those benefits. Swallow your pride and speak to the school about your circumstances, they can help. They will WANT to help.

If you MUST borrow research your local credit union, as they are fairer than places like Provident.

Another one with some boy’s clothes if you’re local to me (north east Scotland). Also in our area we have clothing banks similar to food banks that you can be referred to, so worth looking into. Lots of love OP, I’ve been there (similar reasons reading between the lines) and it really does get better. xx

I am not going to take a loan I will not be able to pay back as it won't help it will just make money tighter. I am on the water scheme which will save me £25 a month when you are stink £25 is alot. I applied for warm home discount had an email back and I qualify so application has been taken to the next stage. The warm home discount will be a massive help I can go to bed at night without the guilty of dc being cold especially if we have a winter as bad as last year. I would like to thank everyone for the words if advice I needed a go kick up the arse to stop feeling sorry for myself as there are many families in the UK who are as skint as us. I hope anyone else that is struggling has found the information about energy grants useful as I was unaware they were an option.

I’d like to help OP.

Would you prefer cash or things like clothes and food?

Do you have PayPal?

PM details if so.

Please don't offer cash. Even if this poster is genuine the next 3 might not be and if scammers get a sniff of the innocent giving cash away then we'll get loads.

Gamerchick. In fairness, I think people offering money are taking the piss out of the OP.

Please don't offer cash. Even if this poster is genuine the next 3 might not be and if scammers get a sniff of the innocent giving cash away then we'll get loads

Yes.

Sorry OP, I know it sounds really arsey and as if people don't believe you. It's not you - it's the time of year and the fact that it really does happen here - and often the posters who are the most generous offering cash or whatever in PMs are the ones who can least afford it because they are empathising or know what it feels like to be in that position.

Really glad you've been accepted on the warm homes scheme, OP. Get yourself over to Money Matters with a budget if you want some good advice on making things stretch

Hope so tell

Hello folks, we’re dropping in again because we’re continuing to get reports in about this thread. As we’ve said upthread, we've absolutely no reason to doubt the OP, but we really can’t ever completely vouch for anyone, which is why we always urge caution when giving time, gifts or money to strangers on the internet.

There’s some excellent advice on here, which will no doubt help the OP enormously, but we feel it’s best for all concerned if we close this thread to new posts now. @StressfullTimes, we hope you get back on your feet as soon as you can, and that you have a very happy Christmas with your family.