I have done something terrible and I need to confess.

[StressfullTimes]

I have name changed through embarrassment and so this thread can't be linked to my future posts as admitting to this more than once is unthinkable. I am at the point of desperation and can't see away out of the mess I am in and fear of just making it worse. I had to move area not through choice but it was a necessary move, I was re-homed by a housing association it was at the start of the year. I moved and started up home with not very much and 11 months down the line I am still in the same boat. I was lucky in the fact that I got a grant from the housing people of a cooker, fridge freezer and washing machine so didn't need to buy them but all the other things I need I still don't have. I try and put a little away each week to save up for one thing at a time but never seem to get there. Money is tight and I know it is for many and there are many people worse of than me but I am so desperate right now I am considering a Provident loan. It would solve my short term problem of my ds has grown and I have no cash to buy anything but would make my next few months tougher than they are now as I can't afford the repayments. I did something on Friday I was not proud but desperation took over, I am not excusing my behaviour I am very ashamed of myself just trying to explain what drove me to it. My ds lost a jumper at school I can't afford to replace it so looked in lost property thankfully it was there so I took it back but I also took a pair black jogging bottoms in his size that weren't his so he had something to wear this weekend. I know it was wrong and I feel very guilty this behaviour is really not who I am.

I work in a school. We throw so much lost property away each term. Don't worry 😉

Ahh, bless you- if you feel bad return the joggers but please talk to school, they should be able to help

Speak to the school. Ds’s school have a clothes rail that’s free for anyone, they also take lost property once a year (after everyone has had at least a year to look through) to a charity shop. They let parents pick stuff up before it goes.

If there’s no name tag in them I think you should keep them as you sound like you’re absolutely in dire need at the moment.
If you really can’t live with doing this then wash them and send them back.
One of my dd’s Friends parents wept in the school office when she lost her last cardigan and her mum couldn’t afford to replace it. They gave her a couple of the long term unclaimed cardigans.

I'm a teacher and every term we have a "reclaim lost property day" and lots of stuff is always left behind. We send it to charity. Please don't beat yourself up over this

You haven't done something terrible OP. Give yourself a break - you were desperate and no actual harm is done. I suspect I'd just have said nothing and hung on to the jogging bottoms if it had been me! So give yourself several brownie points for unusual honesty.
Re the loan - is there a credit union in your area? They are co-operatives so you become a member and they are there to support you in good times and bad with advice, understanding and loans.
Good luck to you.

i thought you was gonna day you did some kinky stuff for money! i would do the same, i'd do anything to provide the necessary for my children

Please don't beat yourself up about a pair of jogging bottoms.
Send them back if you feel so bad. I doubt whoever they belong to even cares.
You need to see cab and make sure you are getting everything you are entitled to..
Where abouts are you if you don't mind saying?
I have a 9yoson and would happily send you his outgrown clothes, feel free to pm me.
In my area we have a very active homeless charity who also help people in situations like yours via Facebook, also check ebay and free cycle, gumtree for free/cheap bundles of clothes.
I'm sorry you are struggling so much, I know how disheartening it is, I hope things get better for you soon

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so down at the moment OP. I work for a housing association and we have a team dedicated to helping people in situations like yours. They help make sure you have all benefits etc customers are entitled to and claim on their behalf for any grants, food bank vouchers and any other help that may 3 a available. Have a word with your landlord to see if they have a similar scheme. Good luck and don't beat yourself up about the trousers xxx

And if you need a new uniform ask the school. There's always a few bits floating around that you can return when your boy has outgrown them

How old is your boy, i have some bits i was going to take to charity shops, happy to post to you if you like?

Your situation sounds difficult, dont be so hard on yourself. It’s hardly a crime of century. I don’t judge you at all and yes, if i knew someone in situation like this i would be happy to give joggers and more to your son.

OP, in the kindest possible way, please don’t keep them - they may belong to someone in similar circumstances.

If those joggers belonged to me, I would want you to have them.

Echoing other posters, do not beat yourself up. You were putting your son first, if the school know your situation they would of given you them. That's how my school operates. Please seek help before a loan, remember you are not alone x

School office lady here. Please have a quiet word with the school - office people, Headteacher, anyone you think you can speak to. We always have loads of unclaimed lost property that we would be happy to give to anyone that needs it - and to help out in any other way we can. Don't beat yourself up about the jogging bottoms, it's not important in the great scheme of things.

Bless you. What size is your boy in case I have anything I can post you?

Don’t beat yourself up. You made a mistake. To be fair it’s so easy to pick things up that you may think are your kids. Happens all the time. No one will suspect for a minute that you did it on purpose. If there’s a name in the joggers and you know the mum message her & just say you picked them up thinking they were your DSs. If no name just take them back to lost property and say oops thought these were DSs but aren’t. No one will bat an eyelid. Easy to do. Don’t beat yourself up! Check out freecycle and ‘nextdoor’ to see/ask if anyone has useful stuff for you. You’re going through a tough time so pls be nice to yourself.

What size do you need op?

I have stuff in a few sizes that my lot have outgrown. Happy to post it for someone in need. I know it doesn’t solve your problems long term but every little helps.

Don’t take a Provident loan.

THIS ^

Have you tried looking in charity shops for bits in his size? I’ve seen quite a few bits for my DS really cheap in our local ones.

Do you have any family who can help you out? Any friends with slightly older DC who can pass on some hand me downs? It’s nothing to be ashamed off- I regularly accept clothes for my DS to save me buying them. They grow so quickly it’s better for the planet if people pass things on rather than always buying new.

At most schools the LP is never claimed and goes to charity shops, if it's really bothering you then return them but this ready isn't worth beating yourself up over!
And please visit the CAB before you get a loan. They really are helpful and will probably have ways to help your situation that you may not have realised.
Many of us have been where you are, money-wise, it's rubbish and you did something for your child, no one will blame you for that.

The amount of named uniform I’ve had taken home by other children/parents and not returned I’m pretty sure a lot of people do this and don’t give it a second thought op.

Schools have hundred of lost property items left over at the end of term that people don't claim. The likelihood is that they would be chucked at the end of term anyway but if you feel bad then take them back tomorrow. See if your village has a hub with outgrown school uniform that has been donated or ask if the school has spares if you are struggling. Sorry things are so difficult for you right now.