I have done something terrible and I need to confess.

[StressfullTimes]

I have name changed through embarrassment and so this thread can't be linked to my future posts as admitting to this more than once is unthinkable. I am at the point of desperation and can't see away out of the mess I am in and fear of just making it worse. I had to move area not through choice but it was a necessary move, I was re-homed by a housing association it was at the start of the year. I moved and started up home with not very much and 11 months down the line I am still in the same boat. I was lucky in the fact that I got a grant from the housing people of a cooker, fridge freezer and washing machine so didn't need to buy them but all the other things I need I still don't have. I try and put a little away each week to save up for one thing at a time but never seem to get there. Money is tight and I know it is for many and there are many people worse of than me but I am so desperate right now I am considering a Provident loan. It would solve my short term problem of my ds has grown and I have no cash to buy anything but would make my next few months tougher than they are now as I can't afford the repayments. I did something on Friday I was not proud but desperation took over, I am not excusing my behaviour I am very ashamed of myself just trying to explain what drove me to it. My ds lost a jumper at school I can't afford to replace it so looked in lost property thankfully it was there so I took it back but I also took a pair black jogging bottoms in his size that weren't his so he had something to wear this weekend. I know it was wrong and I feel very guilty this behaviour is really not who I am.

Schools are usually swamped in leftover clothes, speak to the school's pastoral worker if they have one.

Just to add to others, please don’t beat yourself up over this. You sound desperate and I’m sure no one would begrudge you a pair of joggers.

Are you claiming benefits op? If so you may be entitled to claim a budgeting loan or advance which should give you a lump sum for getting some of the basics.

Don’t worry bout the joggers, wash and return.

What kind of arearoughly are you in. North, south west etc. If you let us know we may know a charity that can help.

Maybe talk to school they may have grants for uniform?

OP please don't go down the payday loan route.
If taking the joggers bothers you that much return them to school and just say you thought they were your son's.
Have a look at Freecycle of sites like schpock where you can pick up second hand or even new clothes sometimes quite cheap.
How old / what size is your son?

Just take them back to lost property. Supermarkets sell multipacks of joggers, t shirts etc cheaply. Some areas have charities which redistribute outgrown clothing in good condition and this time of year is good for Christmas fairs with nearly new stalls. Do you get child maintenance?

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon. Do be kind to yourself.

Oh bless u OP, not the worst thing in the world. You can wash them and pop them back no probs.
Is there anyone in charge of lost property?

I'd have a quiet word and ask if theres anything been unclaimed for a long time, you could also enquire about exchanging your sons old uniform for something thats fits. You wont be the only one in this position love.
I've done it once before (after checking it was ok with pastoral, 2x cardigans had been there years!) half the time none of its ever claimed and goes in the bin
I've actually just bagged up some uniforms with intention of asking school to discreetly pass them on.

It's a shame as I've recently just given some mint boys clothing away to charity. Its been hanging around 2+ years, plain tracksuits jeans etc I would have loved to give it to someone directly.
You should have a look around your charity shops, I've got a lot of bits from the kids section sometimes really cheap.

Put a request on freecycle, that's a brilliant idea. I know I have a loft full of bags of boys clothes that I would happily deliver to someone if I read a request for them.

My dad worked for Provident for a while, quit once he realised just how morally bankrupt they are. Do NOT get locked into a cycle of high interest short term loans.

Speak to your son's school about the uniform issues, they will have seen cases like yours many times before.

Please forget about the jogging bottoms. I worked in a secondary school and the amount of lost property that was never claimed was amazing. Uniform coats, watches, bags, phones, shoes, trainers- often new. At the end of every term we had it on display in the hall at Break for a week and it still was rarely claimed. We took 10+ bin bags every term to the charity shop. We always kept a few things in good condition- PE kits, school jumpers, coats, school trousers and shirts, school shoes, and used them to help families who were finding getting uniform hard. So don't feel bad - they would have ended up in a charity shop or a tip.

I am sorry you have been driven to this by not being able to make two ends meet. Talk to school about how difficult things are financially. They will have lots of lost property they want to get rid of as it takes up so much space. They may suggest charities that could help. Ask for access to food bank. Do not take a loan from anyone.

Many people are having a tough time of it right now but it sounds like you have it extremely rough.
Please don't take a pay day type loan, you will end up in a much worse place than you are right now.
Can I suggest that you put a request out on your local Facebook page asking if anyone has anything they no longer need, you may be surprised at the response.

Try a group called freegle - they bring together people who are giving stuff away. You have to be quick because everyone loves free stuff, but you might be able to pick up bits and bobs you need.

Also, if you talk to your son's Head of Year, the school might well help some more with further items.

On Facebook they are always selling bundles of kids clothing for like a tenner or so. Just ask has anyone got a decent budle for a boy aged whatever he is.
Also for furniture the CAB can refer your cities furniture stores and you can get a few items delivered for a really small cost of like a tenner or £15.00 or so .
Also can you get a budgeting loan or advance from the DWP this would be better than a loan from Provident? If not I'd go see the credit union and ask them if your eligible.

Op have you looked at any local free sites for furniture and other house stuff?
Freecycle is one. And freegle
It’s Worth a look Don’t get a loan unless you can afford to pay it back- just my opinion

Please forget about the jogging bottoms. I worked in a secondary school and the amount of lost property that was never claimed was amazing.

What if the other parent is in exactly the same boat as the OP and can't afford to lose the joggers/have them stolen?

The OP is far better approaching the school and having a discreet word, as PP's have advised.

Mate,,,,,our school secretary would tell us to take whatever we wanted out of lost property!

Honestly, if you said you were looking for a cardigan she would say if you can't find it just take another, they're only going to the clothes bank at the end of term. It was a free for all!

Keep the joggers, don't even think about it

The way you were talking I thought you'd done something terrible - sold your body or something! You took a pair of jogging bottoms out of lost property? I'm sure you need them more than the real owner, who's probably forgotten about them anyway. How old is your DC?

You must go and talk to the school and see if DS is entitled to a uniform grant.

Don’t fret about the joggers. You did what you needed to do.

No one's died and no one's in jail, as my gran used to say. You acted on a desperate impulse, it's not like you make a habit of stealing from washing lines or something. It's pretty much a victimless 'crime' anyway, no one has been hurt by it - well, except you and your conscience.

Don't be so hard on yourself OP, you're basically a decent, honest person and you've done something wrong but on a scale of wrong things this is way way down at the bottom. We all do or have done things we're not proud of. The test of character is in making a sincere attempt to put things right. You can return the joggers and no one will think any the worse of you.

I hope you can get some decent financial advice and assistance to see if you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to, it seems very wrong for you to be struggling so much.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

But she hasn’t asked for any money?

If your son in 5/6 i can send you a few items in the post.
Pm me if you can on here?

Do you have a free up and reuse type local Facebook page or freecycle? There are often bundles of clothes listed on my local one. Alternatively check out your local charity shops. You can usually pick up some joggers or jeans for a pound in kids sizes.