*triggering* Was I raped?

[Puddingmama2017]

I woke up to my partner having sex with me. I lay still and kept quiet. He didn’t know I was awake. I waited for him to ask or check. He tried to go for anal sex but I cried out so he went back to what he was doing. He tried twice more for anal before returning to what he had been doing. Then got up and left the room.

I’ve said before I didn’t mind him trying to wake me by touches and caresses. Is it my fault? Did he misunderstand? Did I give consent without meaning to? I’m so confused and feel so cold.

I wonder how many times the GP has been raped to know what the “normal reaction” is? What a load of misogynistic old bollocks.

If you haven't got anything sensible to say, then best say nothing at all.

Oh for God's sake, read the thread..someone upthread said the same thing. why would your husband presume it was ok in the first place? Did you have a conversation about it?

@Boggisbunceandbean

It's not relevant that other women might like it. The OP didn't consent and, what's more, her DP didn't stop when it was clear she was in distress, which is what any loving partner would have done.

And while some women might like it, others, like me, would find it very traumatic, as it would be very triggering because of my past. And I suspect there are a lot of women like me around, when you consider the large number of sexual assaults per year.

Sex without clear consent equals rape.

The op has been raped boggis. What a disgusting post.

What kind of fucking idiot would not know that sticking their penis into someone who is not consenting at that point isn't rape?

It's a pretty epic risk to take that the person you are penetrating won't mind you doing it when they realise.

I observed a criminal trial about 20 years ago. A man had sex with his girlfriend when she was asleep. No previous criminal offences. He was convicted of rape and sentenced to 3 years.

I am flabbergasted that some posters are trying to minimise what happened to OP.

Some very warped people on here.

IT WAS RAPE FFS! HAVE SOME RESPECT AND EMPATHY!

Your GP is wrong and ill informed. They clearly can't remember what they learned at medical school Re flight fight responses and adrenaline. If you want to report this to the police now or in the future you can. Your GP does not know what they are talking about. Countless women have reacted like you over the years. I heard a woman speak at a conference recently who was raped in her bed by a burglar. She froze and also did not want her children to wake up if she made any noise. Wonder what your GP would think of that? If you have the strength I would be complaining about him to the practice manager or GMC and also ensure they get their local SARC (sexual assault referral centre) to go in and do some training with them. Well done for getting this far and having the ability to get this rapist out of your and your children's lives

You're doing great OP. This happened to me too, with 2 different men. I reacted in the same way you did. I'd be mortified if this happened to my DD. That GP wants reporting to the practise manager. Disgusting way to treat a victim of rape.

Hi Pudding, read your whole thread - been there and whilst it was years ago it’s still there. You are amazingly strong and well done for standing up for yourself it’s not easy. I know it may not feel like it now but you got this and you will get through this coz there’s always light at the end of a tunnel just got to keep walking 💪🏼 X