*triggering* Was I raped?

[Puddingmama2017]

I woke up to my partner having sex with me. I lay still and kept quiet. He didn’t know I was awake. I waited for him to ask or check. He tried to go for anal sex but I cried out so he went back to what he was doing. He tried twice more for anal before returning to what he had been doing. Then got up and left the room.

I’ve said before I didn’t mind him trying to wake me by touches and caresses. Is it my fault? Did he misunderstand? Did I give consent without meaning to? I’m so confused and feel so cold.

Bravo op

Surely he must have realised when you cried out that what he was doing was wrong. What an awful human.

OP did I misread that your DS is 18 and you’re 30?

Anyway, not that you’ll need it as you’ve been so strong already, but you have him and your DM to support you so don’t force yourself through this alone

Well done op So sorry this happened to you. I believe you and it absolutely wasn't your fault.

If you don't want to be told it then stop posting, Philomena. If you're completely happy with your sex life, why does it matter whether a bunch of strangers on the Internet agree with you? As I said in my previous post, just crack on. It's just not relevant so please just stop.

PhilomenaButterfly

Nobody gives a fuck if you like your husband to fuck you while you're asleep. That's got nothing to do with this thread. It's so offensive that you think that your consensual sex with your husband is anything like what has happened here.

@Lizzie48 and @RedDeadRoach exactly!

Well done OP for finding the strength to confront him. You are amazing.

I read the thread the morning whilst solos posts were still up and I was utterly disgusted by the victim blaming and now Philomenas complete disregard for common sense and appropriateness is staggering.

However, i am in awe of the loveliness in this thread - people slate mumsnet for being a nest of vipers but this thread proves what a wonderful place it can be.

Well done op, I read your thread this morning and well done you for getting rid of him so fast, you are an amazing strong women

Well done op. You're so strong. I hope you and the children are nice and safe and he's now left. Horrible man.

How are you @pudding?

Hope you're ok pudding

think its a baby thats 18 months not an 18 year old, without sounding negative i wouldbt be moving a man in again so soon with such a young baby as you couldnt have known him that long. atleast he is gone now anyway.

Oh sorry, ignore the part about getting support from your 18month old then. My bad

I’m ok, still in a bit of a bubble really. I still cannot get warm, and generally feel really run down.

Owllwo "OP did I misread that your DS is 18 and you’re 30?"

18 months. The OP said "I’m in the kitchen, still shaking, with my 18m old DS." The 'm' stands for months.

Sending hugs, I've been thinking about you all day xx

@IHATEPeppaPig

I agree with you, there's always a lot of wonderful support for posters on threads like this (sadly there are predictably always a few victim blames too). I think the overwhelming majority of posts are always supportive, and this is really because most of us have sadly either gone through a similar experience ourselves or supported a friend or family member going through it.

I hope all is well, OP

Candy

Known him years. As have the kids. He’s certainly not a random I suddenly moved in. Our relationship may have moved a little quicker than advised, but it was all done very openly with lots of input from the children.

Sounds silly now, but we were all so happy.

Cross posted, that's so normal, I'm afraid, it's because you're in shock. Sending virtual hugs

Sorry if this is inappropriate to ask but have you spoken to your dd to make sure he's not tried anything with her? I'm sure you have and don't mean to alarm you but probably best to make sure. You've done so well and handled it all brilliantly x

Well done op. Manipulative little arsehole had to go.

Oh Puddingmama you are strong and very inspirational. Will you report it? Do you think he could have been asleep when he tried this if this is very out of character?

Yes you have definitely done the right thing, whatever the reason, there is noway back from this, what he did to you was reprehensible.

Pp is right, you are in shock. Food probably taste weird too.

You have done the right thing 100%. Doesn’t matter if you’ve know him for years, you weren’t in an intimate relationship with him then. Honestly could you ever imagine going to sleep next to him without a single doubt that you’d wake to that horror again? You have absolutely done the right thing. I am so sorry that he sold you a lie. But I am so impressed at your strength of character and your fortitude

I have read the thread from the beginning I am so very sorry that this has happened to you; be kind to yourself 💐 xx