*triggering* Was I raped?

[Puddingmama2017]

I woke up to my partner having sex with me. I lay still and kept quiet. He didn’t know I was awake. I waited for him to ask or check. He tried to go for anal sex but I cried out so he went back to what he was doing. He tried twice more for anal before returning to what he had been doing. Then got up and left the room.

I’ve said before I didn’t mind him trying to wake me by touches and caresses. Is it my fault? Did he misunderstand? Did I give consent without meaning to? I’m so confused and feel so cold.

Just read the whole thread.... You poor thing. Mama. You're one strong brave lady having the courage to confront him and get him out of your house and your life

Stay strong 💪 you've got this. Don't hesitate to seek external help or support as there so much available. One you have had time to process things of course. Wrap up well, make sure to rest, eat and drink and talk when you're able xxx

Much love and hugs

You're amazing, OP. Well done for finding the strength to ask him to leave. You have done exactly the right thing. None of this is your fault and you didn't deserve for it to happen.

I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself and hope you continue to be strong and amazing.

Pudding I salute you 💐
Don't ever forget how brave and amazing you are. Xx

Thinking of you

You’ve been through a traumatic experience OP, I’m not surprised you have physical symptoms.

OP you are very strong and have done the right thing .
I am shocked by some of the comments on here, what happened to you was rape .
Take care and talk to your mum and also contact the different groups sugggested by previous posters.

Well done you. I bet you won't feel strong but you are. I'm sorry he did this to you.

Just finished reading the full thread. You are amazingly strong and have done brilliantly in ending things after what he did to you. I do not know if this helps, I’m saying it in the hope it will, but I work with sex offenders and there is a big difference between offending against an adult and offending against a child. I know some people have been worried about your daughter but I think, unless you think he had time to do anything, it is unlikely he would have done anything to her given that his interest was in you. Being aroused to a child is something else. I’m hoping that may rest any fears you may have for her. You have done nothing wrong, you have protected yourself and I hope you are able to put your life back together and cope with this in whatever way works for you

You have done so well puddingmama. I hope that man is now out of your life completely and forever. What he did was horrific. Be kind to yourself now.

I hope you are having a good nights sleep.

Hoping you slept ok and despite feeling shocked and hurt that you know asking him to leave was the right thing to do.

I slept. I’ve eaten chocolate and I’m on the sofa under two duvets to feel warm again. It’s helping.

Mumsnet can be such an up and down place, full of opinions and heated debates, especially over the ‘big’ issues that deeply affect us all. I want to thank each and every person who commented with support and love and hope. It goes to show that even behind the darkest cloud, there are rays of light ready to peek through.

Mumsnetters, you have been that light.

Thank you.

You handled everything brilliant OP. You can't control another person's actions and the responsibility lies with him so please don't blame yourself.

Crossing my fingers you slept well last night and managing okay today. Don't feel as if you have to front your fine, it's okay to be shaken by what happened and it doesn't disminish you in anyway. Take your time and be gentle with yourself. And above all else know that you are one hell of a woman and you will make it through.

for you op although it will never be enough. Truly hope you've got real life support x

Aww for the comfort in sofa and . Enjoy, and a step at a time.... So glad a nights sleep under your belt.makes such a difference. Take care of you

Awwww Pudding enjoy that snuggle on the sofa. Again, massive hugs, you are such a strong and inspirational lady.

I am saddened by the number of deleted threads. Seems that a number of posters did not have the best interests of the OP at heart.

It was just the one poster. The other deleted posts (including mine) were responses to the disgusting things being said and reassuring the op that the poster was to be ignored.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better op and I'm pleased you told that piece of filth where to go.

Your last comment gave me goosebumps OP.
I'm so sorry you went through this but Im glad you have had so much support. You deserve it & wish you well x

Sending you hugs. Well done. X

Your last update brought me to tears, But then I'm a big sop.

Hot water bottles are also amazing to help you get snuggly, not forgetting fluffy socks.

There are loads of great boxsets on all4/BBC/i player and of course there's Netflix if you need a bit of a rabbit hole to fall down and distract your brain/ calm down your thoughts love.

If your thoughts are spinning try putting pen to paper and brain dumping. It doesn't even have to make sense but it can help.

Wish I could do something to help you. If you were near me I'd offer to bring you some comforting home baking or something. Don't disappear on us, keep us updated if you're able

Take care ❤️❤️

hope you’re okay OP, you’re so brave

Puddingmama2017 I've just read this thread, and for you. You are far stronger than you probably ever thought you were. My thoughts are with you as you recover from this.

Well done OP. And good on those women who were there to give support through the night.

If I could have spoken to people immediately after something similar happened to me I would have dealt with the years that followed much better.

Well done for being so strong. ✊🏼

Hi all.

I’m ok, still working through my own thoughts and feelings. I have seen a GP who was not so understanding so I have made an appointment with a counsellor for later this week. Thank you still to all those who have thought of me, it really does mean so very much.