AIBU to feel school has insulted my family

[DazeinDays]

I have 3 DC and we are soon to move home, and for them to move school.

We have loved the small village school that they all attend. We have been there for 6 years now, and it feels a big shift for us to leave.
I emailed the headteacher and class teachers to ask about what the process was on coming to an end, and anything we could prepare etc. I had an email back from one of the teachers, saying that they ‘didnt normally do or say anything when children left’ and it was ‘up to the children if they told their friends’.

I feel so upset by this, because surely for a child to vanish from class (very small classes too) without teachers guiding and supporting the class on how they cope with endings and change, is going to be damaging to all, on various levels? To me it is an important lesson in life, to learn about endings and adapting to new beginnings and given permission to feel sad, experience loss, etc. Why would school try and brush this under the carpet? And it feels like the time my kids have spent at the school is devalued in the teachers acting like it doesn’t matter at all that they are leaving.

What are other people’s experiences of leaving mid way through term and how that is managed? AIBU?

Nobody will care OP, seriously

I still have a card made by the teacher and signed by my classmates when I moved school.

Peoplebmoving school is quite a common occurrence. Maybe a card is signed but not much more.

Mafia voice thing is making me laugh...I might have to do it!! Not sure why everyone is going on about parties... and I’m not even particularly thinking of my kids (as I can look after their feelings fine) but my Middle child has had to deal with a lot of upset from his friends, at school...you can’t assume all these kids have support at home! It’s insulting to all of them. They are people too!

I think this is basic life skills. Would rather my kids learnt about relationships from a young age.

Surely this up to you to teach them then? I’m not really clear what you are expecting the school to do.

If they are leaving mid-term then I can imagine the teachers would want to minimise the disruption anyway. Some kids will find it hard/sad but I’m sure the teachers and their parents will support them as needed and keeping to their normal school routine will help.

Guidance and support?!?
'Class, Florence is leaving us at Christmas.'
'Ok. Bye Florence. Who's got my red pencil?'

Actually laughing at this now.

Insulted my family 😂

I can tell you with confidence that your children leaving is not going to be 'damaging to all'. It's quite normal for nothing to be done, perhaps a goodbye card if they've a nice teacher

Can't quite get over the title of this thread. Insulted?!

What everyone is saying op, is that this isn't the teachers job, this is yours.

So your son's friends already know he is leaving and are upset. No doubt if it is affecting them at school the teacher will deal with it or if at home their parents will. Seriously move on!

I honestly thought this was going to be a thread about some form of whopping religious faux pas, or possibly a report to social services.

'Insulting'? Really? 'Thoughtless' I could almost stretch to...

Bwhahahahaha!!!

OP, this is the craziest thing I've read in ages. Thanks, I guess?

But please don't make a big deal of this for your kids or at school. They can stay in touch with their actual friends and everyone else will just move on. In fact, the 'lesson' for them all to learn is that moving is really not that big a deal, especially these days when it's so easy to stay in touch.

Just get the heads of the other families to make them an offer they can’t refuse

This thread is teaching me so much. For those of you that are posting unnecessarily mean, unhelpful comments, it’s just proving to me that you don’t have the compassion, kindness or social skills that my children and their friends do. I think it’s sad for you that you have to vent your anger as a keyboard warrior.
Thank our for the constructive criticism those of you have sent from a good-place, and for those of you supporting.

Wow, some harsh comments on here.

Even as adults I think we would be a bit disappointed if we left employment after 6 years and received no acknowledgement what so ever.
School is a DC's world and an acknowledgement that they are valued wouldn't go astray.

Prepare your children to expect nothing more than a 'goodbye and good luck'. Anything else will be a bonus.

The children in the class will not be looking at the empty chair on Monday morning and weeping. They will be getting on with school and life, the same as your family should be doing.

It's nice to say goodbye to a friend. I usually get the class to make a goodbye card and everybody signs/writes a message/draws a little picture. At the end of the day we give the card and tell them we're sure they're going to have a great time at the lovely new school with all their new friends.

Job done.

I feel so upset by this, because surely for a child to vanish from class (very small classes too) without teachers guiding and supporting the class on how they cope with endings and change, is going to be damaging to all, on various levels? To me it is an important lesson in life, to learn about endings and adapting to new beginnings and given permission to feel sad, experience loss, etc.

Really???? Do you think that the class will be traumatised without grief counseling or at the very least a dedicated circle time session to share feelings and discuss how they will cope after this loss.

I've never heard anything so ridiculous.

At my school we make a ‘Goodbye and Good Luck’ card and all the children in the class sign it. Sometimes a child is mentioned in the celebration assembly at the end of the week if it’s their last day but not always.

Is this a joke, OP? A kid leaving school isn’t traumatising to either the kid leaving or the ones in the class.

I moved schools around your child’s age and was absolutely fine - nothing was done because nothing needed to be done. I also had other kids leave when I was around that age. Believe it or not, everyone coped fine because it’s a non-event.

Bridget, surely this isn’t so crazy? Wow! I do t think I’m the dramatic one here

Are you being unreasonable to think the school have insulted your family?
Yes

I'm a ta and children leave from time to time, they are usually forgotten about after a few weeks. Children move on and make new friends that's just what happens, sometimes nothing happens when someone leaves sometimes we might make a card and give it to the child on their last day, I've never seen it mentioned in worship to the whole class.

The other kids adapt very easily though, as do the staff! Things move on quickly in schools!

Maybe they’re throwing a party... once you’ve left.

Ott. Fact..children leave school all the time. Its life. Parents jobs move. If it bothers you that much have a party. Its not the schools responsibility. Yabu

Our primary school makes quite a big deal if families leave. They come out the front of the weekly assembly and are given a small gift (they buy in bulk, with school name on). Everyone joins in on a prayer for them, about settling in quickly to their new school and always being welcome to come back and visit.

School psych talks to parents, friends group of the kids and coordinates with form teacher to have a little ‘ceremony’ in the class on the last day. Usually there’s an art project of some sort with everyone writing something and drawing. Photos are taken. Mention in the school & parish newsletters.

It’s a school of 400. I think it’s lovely, and supports the school & family to deal positively with change. I’m sad your school does FA. Looks like you’ll have to do it yourself. I would.