To have just ‘taken a day’ today?

[BasinHaircut]

I called in sick today. Not because I actually feel ill, but for reasons I can’t explain just felt like I needed a day off from life.

I have done some work so as not to have to play catch up tomorrow with emails and the like, but otherwise I’ve essentially pulled a sickie (and I feel guilty about it).

I have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM. And I feel like there is so much to do day to day that sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

Do I sound like I’m going bananas?

I have 4 days annual leave left to take before the end of December. The last 2 holiday requests I have submitted (one for a funeral, the other a long weekend as my DH is away) have been rejected by my line manager. So all these people saying "just take a days holiday or toil" it really isn't that easy for everyone... also, I can't find a post from OP that says she gets sick pay? Again, not all companies offer this, it is usually at the managers digression, so maybe her "sickie" was on her own dime?....

I try and take a day every 2/3 weeks where I'm not working. I have a health condition that means I'm immunosuppressed and I get incredibly tired
Currently doing two jobs so I work 8-4.30am then 6pm - 11pm, rinse and repeat
I also work Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons/evenings and have a history of panic attacks, antenatal depression and anxiety
So to help I try and take leave from one job every so often or rearrange things so I have a day where I don't leave the house
That's protecting my mental and physical health by getting rest in
I've called in sick with mental health issues before and yes, lied about the reason

I'm an employer (small business) and I do the required annual leave and sick day procedures, but on top of that I allow 4 "mental health days" a year.. casually we call them "can't be assed" days just so it doesn't seem so heavy, but they are very much 'take care of yourself days'. They don't come off annual leave, I don't count them as a sick day when keep track of those. They are just days off when my employees need them and no reason has to be given; just a call to say "I'm having a self care day". They can use it to lounge around and rest or go off to a spa or whatever. It's not for hospital appointments or any stuff like that; those are dealt with separately. These are days to be sure simply to have a break, without eating into annual leave.

I also allow 4 "family days" per year. So kids ill, parents ill, grandparents ill, whatever. Employees can take a family day to look after relatives or whatever and it doesn't use up their annual leave. I'm sure people have lied about a relative needing care, but I'm not bothered about it.

Employers should be looking out for and supporting employees mental heath and commitments to aging relatives or children.

I think you should be allowed to leave your place of work whenever you need for mh issues, if you have a doctors note. As long as it wouldn't breach any laws.
The same as a full day off for sickness. A pre signed letter stating that due to mh reasons you may occasionally need a day away from work.

Can I work for you please?

When I expand my empire, yes you can!

Iaimto

Good for you. So pleased there are some humane employers out there.
Your employees are very lucky and I hope they appreciate that.

Gis a job!

Your attitude is commendable Iaim but how does that work in practice if a couple of people call in on the same day to say they won’t be in, Is your’s the sort of business that can cope with unscheduled time off? Not all organisations can adapt at short notice.

only on mumsnet could taking 1 day off be turned into gross misconduct

Er, and in my place of work and many others. Skiving or throwing a sickie or taking an unauthorisesd duvet day would be a disciplinary matter where I work

It's the same risk you take with people calling in sick on the same day. If someone needs that time off, they'd call in regardless... they'd just lie about being physically sick, which would make any mental health wobbles worse with anxiety over being caught, so could end up off sick for longer.

We adapt if we need too; some things will be pushed back or some stuff just won't be done the way it usually is, but service doesn't suffer. The customers get the same experience. I started the business on my own so I can do everything (just not as well as people hired for that specific job). If needed, I work the extra to get it done. It may not work on a grand scale, or I'd need to hire a few extra "me" people who can jump into the roles if I expand and keep those policies. But it works for me.

The only time where we did have a bit of trouble was one employee who's husband was given a terminal diagnosis and didn't have long left. I told her to go home and not come back until everything was over.. If I had a dieing husband, I wouldn't want to waste that time in work. This will sound really nasty, but we expected him to have a few weeks and he ended up with a bit over 3 months, so she had almost 4 months on paid leave. I couldn't exactly tell her to come back to work since he lived longer than expected, but I may be more careful over that sort of compassionate leave in the future. It's a learning curve... I'm an artist, and learning business management as I go.

Can you explain why you can't take a day off on a weekend?
Dh and I have, from week 1 of dd1, taken a morning each off on a weekend (depending on plans, but generally). Plus at least one long weekend each annual holiday with friends. Works for us.

I call those 'doona days', some days everything just gets on top of me. I take a day, stay in bed/eat too many carbohydrates and watch/read trash. This is enough that I am back to bouncy goodness the next day.

To be fair I am always 'owed' a stack of time in lieu so I don't need to take it as sick leave, I just let the relevant people I know I won't be in/available, get kiddos off to school and slob about.

Obviously wouldn't do so if I was needed that day, as in meetings/project about to launch or something like that, just suck it up and push through.

I don't think it's wrong at all @ThroughThickAndThin01 and oddly enough it works very well in the working environment. In my business and in previous roles where I have been team and also senior management.

Give a little, they give a lot more back. As long as they don't take the piss it is genuinely not a big deal.

Team morale, performance and results is the more important bigger picture than someone taking a duvet day. Maybe you and @rangerider could implement that if you ever make it to senior management level and watch your results improve ;)

Meouw

Well I hope you didn't get paid for it! Take annual leave or unpaid leave like the rest of us have to.

Iamtomisbehave. Why don’t you just give your employees more than the minimum leave entitlement then so they’re actually entitled to take the days off? Feels a bit emperors new clothes to dress it up as something else.

Think the issue here is that people are confusing someone with genuine MH issues taking a days sick leave and someone who wakes up in the morning, can’t be arsed and then lies to their employer. Not the same at all.

As many posters have said, that’s what weekends are for. The OP hasn’t been back to explain why she can’t recharge her batteries at the weekend when her and her DH have one 5 year old child to care for between them.

OP, how would you react if your child couldn't be bothered to go to school - would you agree with just taking random days off willy nilly from school?? That's the example you're setting.

There was an earlier post (not the OP) about someone else wanting a duvet day as they were tired after their DC had messed their bed in the night and neither they nor their DC had slept since 3am.

They had sent the DC into school and gone back to bed having rung their workplace but didn’t get their duvet day as the school rang to say the DC was unwell and crying so they had to go and pick them up. How very annoying and inconvenient that they had to care for their child when they were tired!

Yanbu. I never have any annual leave left to take after using it for school holidays (and buying an extra week on top). In the last few years I've taken a couple of carer days and said that my ds was sick. He wasn't but my work seem to accept that more than if i was sick .

Iaimtomisbehave1 that is surely the most brilliantly bitchy yet passive aggressive put down I have seen for years on MN!

You do realise that not everyone works in the sort of non-critical roles you describe don't you, where someone else can "jump in" and do their job for them with nobody suffering as a result (collegues or "customers"). The OP has been very evasive, for instance, about who took up the slack for her today. I'm betting that a colleague was worse off (more stress, losing a day off, having to stay late etc) as a result of her not going in. For me, that makes a huge difference as to whether it's OK just to call in randomly.

Gladys. You do know that lying to your employer about your absence could be a disciplinary issue?

I’m amazed at the number of people on here who think it’s ok. Not one of my family or friends in RL would think it was acceptable but perhaps that’s explained by the fact that we tend to gravitate towards people who have the same moral compass as ourselves.

To answer a couple of points...

No one had to do my work yesterday, save me asking my manager to cancel a call I had booked in for me.

If I had felt like that at the weekend my DH would have sorted it out for me to take some time out. What I meant in my OP was that I (we) don’t generally get much downtime at the weekends and so it’s not like I’m recharging every week with a nice sofa day and a relaxing pub lunch.

I felt like I needed a day yesterday which happened to be a Tuesday. I didn’t plan it.

If your social worker, bin man, GP, A&e nurse, internet provider engineer, school teacher, car garage worker did the same you would all approve then. Some of us have normal jobs where we have to cover them if a collegue is off. Most working mums would fancy a duvet day every week.

Of course it’s gross misconduct as it is fraud! There are sick reasons attributable to mental health available, this person did some emails at home so just couldn’t be bothered to go in as is probably tierd from looking after her child. She needs to speak to her line manager and plan regular annual leave.

Don’t feel guilty. You were ill - mentally not physically and that should be given the same weight as physical.

It’s no different from having a cold which isn’t as bad as the flu but you know it would get worse if you dragged yourself in. That’s exactly what happened, you felt down and took a day off to prevent you feeling worse.

In the long run this is better for both you and your employer. I’ve seen people push themselves until they end up signed off with stress for months. Their mind then body just says ‘stop, no more’. Good that you’re listening to your brain.

Yabu

I hope all those who think its ok to pull a sickie get caught and get sacked.