To have just ‘taken a day’ today?

[BasinHaircut]

I called in sick today. Not because I actually feel ill, but for reasons I can’t explain just felt like I needed a day off from life.

I have done some work so as not to have to play catch up tomorrow with emails and the like, but otherwise I’ve essentially pulled a sickie (and I feel guilty about it).

I have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM. And I feel like there is so much to do day to day that sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

Do I sound like I’m going bananas?

Iaimtomisbehave1

I’m curious what sort of business you have.

I think what you offer your employees sounds great and I can see how it benefits you and your employees but it’s obviously not something that would work for many (most?) workplaces.

This thread is about people lying to their employers to take a day off when they are not sick. It’s completely different.

The flip side of going in when you're mentally not up to it is surely a distracted, unproductive and unhappy employee. So you're still paying for an unproductive day, the employee is just physically present and has no chance to recuperate. The knock-on effects of this presenteeism are unmotivated, unwell staff who take more time off in the long run.

DH manages a smallish team within a huge company and he's sent two of his lot home this year due to mental health issues. He says mental health is still health and prevention is better than cure.

British working culture is largely outmoded, outdated, authoritarian and counter-productive. It's part of the reason I'll never work for a company ever again here if I can help it. Being freelance, I now refuse work from companies who treat me like a robot with gay abandon and go the extra mile for the ones who don't.

I lied to my employer today. In fact, I've called in sick the rest of the week but I'm not sick.

What I am is over-worked in a shitty environment where I'm directly or indirectly exposed to trauma on a daily basis. My best friend has just been told her cancer is not responding to treatment and her only hope now is the possibility of drug trials she may or may not be eligible for. She has 2 primary aged DC.

No I'm not sick but I need a few days. If I went into work I really couldn't cope with helping someone else with their trauma today nor witnessing violence or self-harm or being threatened. I can't take it as leave as it wouldn't be approved at short notice.

I don't feel great about it but it does mean I can get my head straight over the next few days and go to work on Monday and do the brilliant job I manage to do under shitty circumstances with members of society that most people don't give a fuck about.

I'm sure I'm not doing badly when it comes to morality.

HowYouHoldingUp. You sound like you have a very stressful and important job. I can see why you want to take some days off but don’t you feel guilty about the people you will be letting down. They sound vulnerable. It’s not their fault your employers are shite.

Assuming you work a normal Monday to Friday job then by next Sunda you will have only worked two out of the previous nine days. 😕

I don’t know if you are a social worker or not but they have particularly high rates of absenteeism. I can understand why as it must be very stressful. It’s a shame though as it just fuels the poor image of social workers that many people seem to have (especially on Mumsnet)

Iaimtomisbehave1
Your place sounds amazing! Your staff are very lucky to have you. My husband works for his family business and they have very similar arrangements.
They are very keen on keeping all staff happy, whether they're family or not, and this means that a lot of things like holiday, sick day etc are very lax. And they have a very happy, loyal, hard-working team as a result

I think it's really sad that so many people think one day off in a blue moon makes OP this evil thieving fraudster. Its one day. One.

Yes the people I work with are vulnerable. I'm one of a very few that think that though and one of a very few that care in this environment.

I've dedicated 20 years of hard work going above and beyond. Every day. And 1000s of extra hours I will never be paid for and a salary that in no way reflects what I do.

I've been physically assaulted, sexually assaulted and abused. I've also had far more wonderful experiences and seen hundreds of people do well because I gave a shit and invested in them.

If I went in over the next few days I would be no use to them and likely something would happen that would make me think 'fuck this' when I could normally cope. And then I'd go off sick for longer or just fuck off completely.

I have enough self-awareness and experience to know I need a few days to cry that my friend is dying, care about ME then put my brave face on and try to sort everyone elses problems out again.

I think needing to take a 'mental health day' is work related stress. That is a bona fide reason to be off sick.Sadly work related stress/anxiety/depression is rife these days.

zero hours contracts, understaffin, employers who stick 2 fingers up at employment law, inadequately trained managers, lack of unionisation are all factors in this nationwide epidemic

@WowCrabby

This thread is about someone who needed a day off on that day. Sometimes saying "just wait for the weekend" isn't an answer. Have you never woken up and just felt the weight on your shoulders as too much, or just felt that today, you simply can't do it.

You don't need to be vomiting to justify a day off. A couple of times a year is not going to destroy the economy, and in many workplaces it can benefit the whole team if everyone feels a bit more happy.

I work in the arts now, but my degree is in the sciences. Before I switched careers, my old workplace where quite relaxed (not to the extent I am) so I've seen it in action in other industries.

How the hell did our parents and grandparents cope? My gran worked long hours in a factory and still manage to run a house (single-handedly because husbands weren't expected to help) & raise 2 children. The only time she took off work was when she broke her back and physically couldn't move!

Who wants to live like this? There's no medal for working yourself to death.

I still think people are confusing real, diagnosed and long term debilitating Mental Heath conditions like stress and anxiety , with feeling a bit down /tired/ fed up.

Again, what most people have described in this thread is just feeling a bit knackered, frazzled and fed up. Whilst ' low mood' can be diagnosed by some doctors, it isn't the same as clinical depression, stress or anxiety.

If a company or organisation is willing to promote ' Mental Health Days' then that's great, but what they are really doing is granting extra annual leave with no notice.

Personally, I think these days have been taken for decades with people just phoning in with other fictions ailments . Depending on the team I was working with and culture within it would determine whether I took these days myself.

I personally have never done this op however I have never felt as low as you do. You say you could not face life, I personally find this quite concerning. I would make visiting your GP a priority and also talking to DH and making it clear he needs to help you get some free time at the weekends.
It really does sound like you are struggling and heading for trouble.

However if actually you just mean you fancied a day off then ignore the above!

Bombbiggleton. I agree that people seem to be confusing the two and think there’s a big difference.

Those saying a couple of days a year don’t matter...they do if everyone in an organisation did it. In my company that would amount to nearly 260 working days (equivalent to a years work for one person working full time on a standard 5 day week).

Iamtomisbehave*

The thread is about someone who says she isn't ill and who 'has just taken a day off' Those are the OPs words.

If someone has genuine mental health issues then off course they shouldn't work if that's what will help them, I don't think anyone on this thread is disputing that.

I've woken up sometimes and not wanted to engage with the world, hasn't everyone? I still haven't ever skipped work. I couldn't lie like that and I would feel worse feeling like I'd been deceitful than I would going into work. I'm happy to take time off work if I am ill - I'm not a martyr and I don't think it's in anyone's interests to go to work when you are genuinely ill.

Dorsetdays
If a person does it twice a year (which is not the case for the OP but just for arguments sake), that accounts for 0.8% of their time over the course of a year. If they can catch up on their workload themselves and achieve their objectives, it's really not as big a deal as some people are making out.

I also think there is a middle ground between being a bit tired and fed up and having a full blown mental illness. I think when you really start to feel overwhelmed it's good to recognise that and give yourself a breather before it turns into something more serious.

Sakura. I don’t disagree at all about taking a break, I just believe it’s more honest to take it as leave in the OP’s circumstances. She said she didn’t feel unwell at all, threw a sickie and could have taken leave. She also later confirmed she doesn’t have a MH illness.

My other point was referring to a previous poster who said if it’s ‘only’ 1 or 2 days a year it doesn’t matter. My point is that it definitely would matter if everyone did it!

I think when you really start to feel overwhelmed it's good to recognise that and give yourself a breather before it turns into something more serious.
Or here's an idea - maybe you just do what responsible adults do and ensure you take it easy on the weekend instead and recharge your batteries that way! You know, like people have been doing for years and years, before they turned into entitled snowflakes

What are you doing at the weekends? One 5 year old to deal with between 2 parents is quite easy so I'm guessing it's not parenting related. If you have lots of hobbies and clubs then maybe try and plan to do less. My DH used to always want to plan outings every weekend as he worked v long hours all week and felt the need to compensate with over-scheduled weekend fun. Has taken a while for him to realise that the kids are happy with very simple outings and also just want time at home. I think some people these days make the mistake of having such busy weekends that come Monday they don't feel relaxed at all.

Easy to be so judgemental Rangerider if you've never experienced the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed and find you don't have the energy or strength to do your normal tasks on a particular day. It's not something that can be neatly scheduled for the weekend, it generally creeps up. Lots of people have life pressures outside of work that take up their time and energy, and everything can just snowball. The feeling the OP describes is the beginning of a slippery slope, but it doesn't have to lead to a full blown mental illness if you look after yourself when you see the warning signs.

Of course some people are such hard, strong, resilient worker bees who couldn't possibly empathise with someone who experiences life in a different way.

There’s a lot of over generalising on this thread. The OP was clear she wasn’t unwell, doesn’t have MH etc.

Therefore we’re not talking about people with serious MH issues, we’re talking about someone who woke up and just felt a bit ‘meh’. We all have days like that but most of us just get on with it until our day off/the weekend and then we make sure we prioritise our health by making sure we rest and take time to recharge before the next working week.

And yeah some of us do value (or need!) our jobs so we understand we have a responsibility to do our utmost to turn up. Work isn’t the first thing that I’d think of stopping if I felt tired/run down etc, it would be socialising, going to bed late, weekend/evening activities etc.

I think people are being unfair saying the OP just fancied a day off work for no reason. The impression I get from her posts is that she felt unable to engage with life/people, couldn't explain why and found that strange (asking if she was going bananas). That is absolutely a sign of something building, and I know because I've been there. To people who have never experienced it, it might sound lazy but its not, its a deeper issue and its actually kind of worrying as you wonder why you're not able to just 'get on with it'.

OP came back saying she felt so much better and realised she had needed the mental health day. So she goes back feeling refreshed and energised, which is a good thing.

Re: annual leave, sometimes it can't be taken at short notice, or by this time of year it has all been taken/booked.

OP came back saying she felt so much better and realised she had needed the mental health day. So she goes back feeling refreshed and energised, which is a good thing

This inspired me to segue surreptitiously from Joyce to

don’tmindmeimhavingamentalhealthday

But unfortunately it was too many characters

I’ve amused myself so much though I may never need to take one ever. I just need to relive the bollocks on this thread

Perhaps i should re read at regular intervals during the darker months of the year

"DH manages a smallish team within a huge company and he's sent two of his lot home this year due to mental health issues. He says mental health is still health and prevention is better than cure."
Presumably he applies the same logic to physical health and sends people home regularly in the winter months when they might be about to develop a cold?

stealth, my boss sends people home if they have a bad cold brewing. I got over a cold in a couple of days that way earlier this year - in contrast to a colleague in another team who took nearly a month to get over the same thing as she worked through it.

I can understand why OP feels like that. I was in a similar position at one point where things started to get overwhelming.

I managed to negotiate my hours so I have a day off in the week which is my catch up/down time day when the house is empty of other people. I am much happier for it even though the other four days are longer now.