To have just ‘taken a day’ today?

[BasinHaircut]

I called in sick today. Not because I actually feel ill, but for reasons I can’t explain just felt like I needed a day off from life.

I have done some work so as not to have to play catch up tomorrow with emails and the like, but otherwise I’ve essentially pulled a sickie (and I feel guilty about it).

I have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM. And I feel like there is so much to do day to day that sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

Do I sound like I’m going bananas?

People can call it what they like but essentially OP 'pulled a sicky'! I couldn't care less but I wouldn't do it myself. Life isn't always easy, we all need some time to recharge but surely as an adult you need to factor that in around work and commitments.

Dollywilde. Not a chance that you and your colleague were suffering from the same thing. Sounds like you had a minor cold and they had flu/chest infection which are very different things and caused by totally different viruses.

What a snowflake generation we’re creating when every time you ‘might’ be developing an illness you have to take to your bed. Very often you can feel a bit rubbish first thing but if you get up, shower and get on with your day you feel much better for it.

It’s callled resilience and by the sound of it some people need to work on developing some (in their own time, not by throwing sickies).

Agree with DorsetDays - being at home has no impact on how long a cold will last. You cannot “stave off a cold” as many posters seem to think you can.

Working in a pharmacy we would be permanently at least one member of staff down all winter if everyone took time off for a cold. Just be hygienic - and please If you go to a pharmacy with a cough, we don’t need a demo and spraying with your bugs - thanks.

You realy dont need to be at home with a cold. As said above, I’m very generous with personal days, but a sick day for a cold? That’s not necessary.

Easy to be so judgemental Rangerider if you've never experienced the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed and find you don't have the energy or strength to do your normal tasks on a particular day.
You have zero idea of my life. I've had years of depression (and dragged myself to work because I had a mortgage to pay), I have autism and the older I get the harder everything seems. I'd say that probably half the days each week involve feelings of being overwhelmed but I don't have anyone to take on the burden for me.
This is a thread about OP deciding she'd fancy a day off because she seems to be busy at the weekends. Not someone whose mental health is genuinely suffering. There's a huge difference, and every time someone like OP takes the piss it makes it that much harder for those who are genuinely suffering & struggling to be taken seriously.

@RangeRider

Everyone has mental health. Every single person. And sometimes it's healthy and all good, other times it takes a beating. You don't need to have cripling depression to need some mental health TLC. And before you jump on me and say I don't know what I'm talking about, my degree is in psychology and I worked in the mental health field for years before changing careers.
People with diagnosed serious issues do not have a monopoly on needing to take care of themselves. And most people who do have problems, don't actually name them or realise what is going on. They just soldier on and some get through it, others get worse. Creating environments where everyone can say they need a day helps prevent it getting worse, and takes the stigma away.

There's a difference between depression and feeling down of course, but that doesn't mean it's healthy to say "you might feel down, but I have real depression so you can shut up and stop moaning". It's all relative. And someone who is having a wobble can't tell themselves "well, at least in not depressed" because to them, that doesn't change how they feel. It's not about you, or anyone else with any other mental health condition. It's about them, on that particular day/week. And everyone needs to give their mental health a bit of TLC every so often. If that's an extra day off work a couple times a year, then what a the problem?

Headaches aren't as bad as migraines, but you can still take pain relief. You don't say "well, it's not s migraine so I will just suffer through it so I don't offend migraine sufferers".

Presumably he applies the same logic to physical health and sends people home regularly in the winter months when they might be about to develop a cold?

Your logic only holds if physical and mental health are broadly equivalent, which they are not. A virus or broken arm is not the same as anxiety or stress etc.

But yes, he does send people home if they are not fit to be in work. What's the point of them being there otherwise?

Rangefinder if thats the case it sounds like you should consider going to your GP. I'm sure you'll tell me I'm just a snowflake but I personally believe people who are struggling, including yourself, need to stop and take time to recover when needed. I also think you're slightly minimising what the OP said, it wasn't just "can't be arsed" it was more "I just can't do this". There's a subtle difference.

laimtomisbehave Fully agree.

Bloody hell the attitudes on here! Work full time from the age of 18 (sometimes younger) till the day you die without ever once faking a sickie!! Sorry it's not natural for people to work work work of course some days you need to just CHILL. The world won't end because the OP had a duvet day.

Sorry it's not natural for people to work work work of course some days you need to just CHILL

But that's what weekends and nearly 6 weeks of holiday entitlement as a minimum are for .

I work in mental health. One day at the end of my tether with work stress I called my boss and told her that I wouldn't be in as I was taking care of my own mental health that day. I said that I was happy to take it as sick, annual leave or unpaid but there was no way I was going in.

I sat on the sofa all day and crocheted.

I was paid but I realise that I work for an unusually caring company. I've never done anything like that before or since,

I have had the past 2 months off work after a breakdown in my mental health resulting in a hospital stay. I'm a teacher, time off is very frowned upon. I'm sure if I had felt able to admit how much I was struggling and taken a day or two when I needed them I may have been able to avoid the complete breakdown that I am still in recovery from.

This makes a really good point... For ‘physical’ illness, people don’t expect people to continue with illness until they are so ill they need to have months off. If you have a flu you have some days off, you don’t press on until you literally collapse with pneumonia. But with mental illness you’re somehow expected to continue until you have a catastrophic breakdown!

Those saying a couple of days a year don’t matter...they do if everyone in an organisation did it. In my company that would amount to nearly 260 working days (equivalent to a years work for one person working full time on a standard 5 day week).

This is based on ‘presenteeism’ fallacy that being at work is the only important thing, not how productive you are. Far better for someone to have the occasional day to deal with stress before it becomes over-whelming, than to spend weeks under-performing and being unproductive because they are so stressed, only then to be signed off for a couple of months!

Oakenbeach. Totally agree, it’s good for everyone to take the odd day off to relax and recharge.

It’s called annual leave.

This is where the problem is. You wouldn't expect someone to use up their annual leave to recover from a physical illness. But you expect them to use annual leave for a mental illness?

You aren't qualified in mental health are you Dorset? You can't say at what point does a low mood become something more sinister and something which requires attention... And that's the problem. Not many people are aware enough to know when they should give themselves a bit more TLC. So if someone wakes up, after maybe feeling low for a few days, and thinks "I just can't today" then that's a sign that you need to listen too, and take the day to recover. But no... because mental health isn't as important as physical health. They should just get on with it and wait foe their assigned day off, just like you'd do with a broken arm, right?

A minority will take advantage, but that's what happens with every beneficial thing offered to people. Some take advantage. But the rest use them only when absolutely necessary, and no one should be able to say "you aren't really ill, you're just lazy".

We’re taking about preventative measures here and those apply equally to mental health as they do to physical health.

People keep arguing that MH is just as important as physical health, obviously it is but in my view you have a responsibility for your OWN mental health. Most people use their days off or weekends for that purpose so if you choose not to do that because YOU’RE not prioritising it then why should your employer have to do that for you by giving you extra days off?

I don’t see it as being any different to someone who has the start of a physical illness and instead of resting up at the weekend, they choose to go out partying 24/7 and end up more run down and ill.

This thread isn’t about whether someone should look after their MH or take a day off if they feel a bit ‘meh’. This thread is about someone choosing to throw a sickie when they could have taken a days leave.

I don’t think that’s a very fair representation of my OP dorset, at no point did I just throw a sickie instead of taking AL coz I fancied a day off work.

I said I needed a day off from life for reasons that I couldn’t articulate and so called in sick. At the time I didn’t really think about taking AL I just phoned in sick because it seemed like the only option AT THAT POINT. Only later on I realised I should have taken AL but I’d already called in sick at that point.

A day on and I feel no guilt about it TBH. It did me the world of good to ‘take a day’ even though I ended up actually working for 4 hours anyway.

I don’t feel like I need to justify myself here, I’ve been reading with interest at how upset some of you seem to be about this but I believe I made the right choice yesterday and can say confidently that there has been no negative impact on the business caused by me putting myself first yesterday. And personally the impact has been extremely positive.

If this was a recurring thing that happened to me I would seek professional help. But you know what? If some time next year I feel the same again and need to take a day I most certainly will. I would take it as flexi leave and not sick (if allowed) because I do agree (and always have) that in hindsight I should have done that yesterday too, but I do think it’s a shame that in 2018 so many people still have such negative attitudes towards people deciding to take a little bit of self care. Maybe we need a few more snowflakes in this world full of martyrs

I completely support your decision and I've done it myself many times... As long as you realise this is why we have a gender pay gap!

Maybe that’s because in your post you said yourself that you’d thrown a sickie? So not exactly a misrepresentation, more of a quote really.

Again, no ones saying you shouldn’t take the day off. Of course you should. It’s HOW you take the day that has divided people on here and you obviously agree as you say yourself that if you did it again you wouldn’t take it as sick so I think that kind of answers your question in your OP....

That aside, I’m genuinely glad you’re feeling better.

Dorset you seem to think it's really easy to just schedule a bit of downtime at the weekend and hey presto you'll magically be ok Mon-Fri. Life isn't like that, it throws us curveballs all the time. Also, some people don't get to relax on the weekend if they have other pressures such as sick/elderly family members, etc.

Life is a slog and you never know when it will hit you in the face.

Aquilla. Eh? When did sickness become a gender issue? You know men are ill too (and throw sickies as well)?

Sakura. We don’t all have the luxury of relaxing weekends no but you still have a responsibility to take care of your own health, both mentally and physically so if that’s what you need then it’s your responsibility to try and schedule that in where you can.

The OP only said she has a 5 yr old and a DH to account for the inability to have any time to herself at the weekend...no mention of elderly relatives etc?

OP you're absolutely right, you don't need to justify yourself and I think most people who look at this objectively would understand.

Yes but a quote taken out of context dorset. That’s clearly not what I was saying when read together with the paragraph from the same OP:

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

I didn’t think ‘shall I take a days AL? Nah fuck it I’ll take a sick day instead’ and that’s what you are suggesting.

But whatever. I do feel better and I don’t feel bad for not taking a day’s leave. Firstly because I did actually work, and secondly because I don’t think it matters in the grand scheme of things.

I also don’t think it’s particularly admirable to have never taken a day off sick unless you are at death’s door and agree that presenteeism doesn’t have any bearing on someone’s ability to perform their job (with the obvious exceptions).