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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just ‘taken a day’ today?

302 replies

BasinHaircut · 13/11/2018 16:35

I called in sick today. Not because I actually feel ill, but for reasons I can’t explain just felt like I needed a day off from life.

I have done some work so as not to have to play catch up tomorrow with emails and the like, but otherwise I’ve essentially pulled a sickie (and I feel guilty about it).

I have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM. And I feel like there is so much to do day to day that sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

Do I sound like I’m going bananas?

OP posts:
laurG · 13/11/2018 17:15

Quite honestly a lot of the sick days I’ve taken are a lot like yours. Sometimes you just need a day to yourself to regather yourself. You will feel better for it and perform better as a result.

Redboxonwheels · 13/11/2018 17:20

I’ve done exactly the same as you, several times in my long work history, so know how you feel and the reasons why.

Yes, I felt guilty but as long as it doesn’t become a habit, there’s no harm done and it really will benefit your mental health.
Sometimes we just need a day off from the daily grind.

Don’t worry about the company/organisation you work for. It will survive if you are not there for a day or three.

As the old saying goes: The graveyard is full of ‘indispensable’ people.

ilovesooty · 13/11/2018 17:24

You have to have a return to work meeting at my company after any illness, even a day. If I felt mentally incapable of being at work that day I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing the D+V I hadn't had.

TooTrueToBeGood · 13/11/2018 17:24

Well no actually, as an adult that is exactly what she can do. We're not slaves ffs.

No we're not slaves, we're employees. We give our time in exchange for pay. Sick leave is there for when we're sick, not for when we just can't be arsed to turn up. I wonder how people would feel if their employer occassionally decided they just couldn't be arsed paying their wages.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/11/2018 17:26

I think your attitude is very wrong ReflectionsofParadise

Troels · 13/11/2018 17:28

Dh would do this once in a blue moon, we called it a mental health day. He'd sleep a bit later and we'd go out to lunch with no kids and he'd watch a movie in bed and go to sleep early. He needed it once in a while.

Chocolala · 13/11/2018 17:29

I took a day last week. My mental health needed it badly. I sat in bed, read and drank tea all day. It was amazing and I feel so much better now.

Celebelly · 13/11/2018 17:29

Mental health day! You woke up and didn't feel mentally very well today, which is the same as feeling not physically well. Hope you're feeling brighter tomorrow x

ilovesooty · 13/11/2018 17:37

So if you're mentally unfit to go to work that day surely you own it. Did those of you who felt like that call in citing that reason or did you claim to have a different illness?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/11/2018 17:38

I'm a teacher. We don't get TOIL, unpaid leave, or the option to take annual leave in term time. I think if UK employers were more switched on to the idea of mental health days, we might have fewer people suffering from burn-out.

Interesting BBC article from last year here

RangeRider · 13/11/2018 17:39

No we're not slaves, we're employees. We give our time in exchange for pay. Sick leave is there for when we're sick, not for when we just can't be arsed to turn up. I wonder how people would feel if their employer occassionally decided they just couldn't be arsed paying their wages.
Thank goodness for someone who understands how businesses work!

pretendingtowork1 · 13/11/2018 17:40

Well, if it's paid then it's fraud. You weren't ill. Up to you if you felt comfortable with it but these things can come back to bite you if you need genuine sick leave.

Bestseller · 13/11/2018 17:43

I have an excellent attendance record for ut I have, over a 30 year career, occasionally taken a day to "Re-set" myself, a day (or even a few) to get on top of life so I could perform better at work.

I wouldn't admit to it, but I don't feel guilty about it and I think it's likely that if I hadn't done it I would have had more time off overall

Grobagsforever · 13/11/2018 17:46

YABU. You have one 5 year old and a husband. So you should easily be able to get a weekend day to yourself. Just tell your husband. One five year old is not hard work for him!

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 13/11/2018 17:49

I’m glad some people seem to understand.

I did say in my OP that had I thought if it this morning I should have asked for annual leave, but there was a big risk that they would have said no. So come to think of it I’m not sure how that would have played out so maybe I wouldn’t have.

I don’t feel like I could have said I needed a mental health day but actually, I think that’s exactly what I needed.

I’ve picked up DS from the childminder now and I do actually feel so much better for taking the day. I wasn’t sure I did until I picked him up and realised I felt able t engage with humans again.

It’s interesting to hear both views though. Seems to be just as split as when someone asks if they should struggle into work with a cold. Some think it’s not a reason for a day off, others do.

OP posts:
supersop60 · 13/11/2018 17:49

I have done this. I'm glad to say that I'm rarely actually ill. I am self-employed, so I catch up the work another time when I'm on better form mentally.
I don't blame you at all OP.

WonderTweek · 13/11/2018 17:50

Nowt wrong with a mental health day. I take one every couple of years. I haven’t since my son was born as I’ve been off sick more with him and due to nursery germs, but never felt guilty for taking a day when it felt like life was getting on top of me. I always felt better for it and performed better at my job as a result. I think it’s fine if you don’t take the mick and have one every week. Grin

motortroll · 13/11/2018 17:52

Just fine the sane. I actually do have a mental health issue but medicated. Hoping this will be just what I need to get back on an even keel. I know I'm not right....my house is clean!

KeepCalm · 13/11/2018 17:52

Entirely dependent on your role/position. As the owner of a small business who relies on employees I'd have been screwed by your actions.

If you're in a larger establishment that can cope with absences at short notice than crack on and don't give it another thought.

wherehavealltheflowersgone · 13/11/2018 17:53

I manage a team of 10 people in a v stressful environment and I encourage them to take paid "mental health days off" as IME it prevents them needing to take 5 days off a few months down the line when the stress has lead to a nervous breakdown.

KingLooieCatz · 13/11/2018 17:53

This is the bit I don't get:

have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM

Why would having a husband mean you can't have a day off at the weekend? It should be easier to have a day off at the weekend if you have husband? Unless he works weekends?

Get the 5yo signed up to a weekend club or class that does not require you to be present at the earliest. DH works 3 weekends out of 5, 2.5 hours of Drama Club on a Saturday morning is a godsend.

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2018 17:53

This was always known as 'skiving' in the past.

Why is it now being called a 'mental health day'?

WorraLiberty · 13/11/2018 17:54

I meant to say, I don't get the 'husband' bit either.

Unless the OP has neglected to mention she's caring for him

BitOutOfPractice · 13/11/2018 17:55

So who covered your work OP?

DollyWilde · 13/11/2018 17:56

I don’t get TOIL but over the course of the year the hours I work outside of 9.30 - 5.30 probably adds up to about a month. I don’t do it a lot at all - think the last time I did was around this time last year - but IMO one mental health day is easily offset by those extra hours I do. I’m lucky to have a job where I largely manage my own workload and being away only means I need to rejig some of my own deadlines, though.