To have just ‘taken a day’ today?

[BasinHaircut]

I called in sick today. Not because I actually feel ill, but for reasons I can’t explain just felt like I needed a day off from life.

I have done some work so as not to have to play catch up tomorrow with emails and the like, but otherwise I’ve essentially pulled a sickie (and I feel guilty about it).

I have a husband and a 5yo son and so taking a ‘day off’ at the weekend isn’t an option IYSWIM. And I feel like there is so much to do day to day that sometimes it’s overwhelming.

Now I think about it I could have taken a day’s annual leave but this morning when I just didn’t want to engage in life I didn’t think of that, I thought a sick day was my only option.

Do I sound like I’m going bananas?

Quite right Dorsetdays i so wish I was as moral as you 🤣

Don’t feel guilty. You were ill - mentally not physically

No she wasn't Unfinished, the OP specifically says "I’m in no way saying I have a mental illness".

Gladys. Clearly you aren’t if you think lying and stealing are ok. That’s exactly what it is when you take paid time off you aren’t entitled to and lie about it. That’s not ok.

Nothing wrong with taking a day off to recharge, just don’t pretend it’s a MH day or you’re unwell when the OP clearly said she wasn’t!

The right thing to do today would be to go into work, explain you weren’t actually unwell but didn’t feel 100% and book it as leave (as you said in your original post that you could do).

Hope you feel better for it OP. Sometimes recognising taking that time that day for self care would prevent tiredness leading to feeling run down /picking up bugs etc. I would also make the point having many friends and family who have developed mental health problems that self care in very early stages could have helped regulate them much better. I know everyone is different but for some taking that time for self care, priotising sleep and eating well would have prevented relapse or the trigger into their downward spiral.

But perhaps we should be asking why people are feeling tired and run down and need days like this?

Jobs have become more demanding, be it less staffing so people often covering vacancies, less job security, economic pressures with minimal if any pay rises. I work in the NHS on what feels like skeleton staffing before sickness, annual leave etc.

The focus should be demanding fairer/better working conditions for all.

FWIW before I get flamed for wasting tax payers money, I've only thrown one sickie in my life - over 20 years ago working for less than £3 in a large well known shop who treated their young employees very badly. No regrets....

I’m amazed at the number of people on here who think it’s ok. Not one of my family or friends in RL would think it was acceptable but perhaps that’s explained by the fact that we tend to gravitate towards people who have the same moral compass as ourselves. hmm

I hope all those who think its ok to pull a sickie get caught and get sacked.

Hilarious! It's one day. She hasn't murdered anyone.

@BitOutOfPractice

And which part of what I said was bitchy or passive aggressive?

Some professions would require more notice or a different way of doing it; it’s not a one size fits all situation. Giving people a few extra days off a year dramatically reduces the number of sick days taken overall.

Compared to other companies in my industry, I have much fewer days off taken in total. Counting mental health days, family days and sick days, the total number of days taken off by my employees is less than the nation average of sick days taken per person, and less than the number of sick days taken by similar companies. Because it creates a much happier working environment, and staff are less likely to take the piss. I think those stats, at least for my employees, show that it benefits the company by having fewer missed days of work.

@Dorsetdays
Annual leave can be taken in chunks; if I just increase annual leave allowance but keep the short notice policy, I could end up with short notice requests to take a full week off, which I’d have to say no to. These days need to be used one at a time (family days are a bit more flexible if someone’s kid is very ill). It keeps a clear line between booking a few days off together and having a solitary day off. I couldn’t allow short notice blocks of time off, which means I’d be saying no to those request and end up with employees feeling annoyed that they thought they could might get the time off but they can’t. It keeps the lines clear.

@Iaimtomisbehave1

Quite obviously, this: "Maybe you and @rangerider could implement that if you ever make it to senior management level and watch your results improve ;)"

As well you know!

It really depends on the impact on your colleagues tbh. It would be very difficult/ impossible for me to just take a day off with no notice or planning without it having an impact one someone else in the team. Which is fair enough if you literally can't get out of bed you feel so bad, but not just because you feel like a day off.

I think you should have taken it as leave, but if your absence genuinely has no impact on your colleagues then no real harm done.

I absolutely agree you needed the time to recharge and I think it's important you took the day.

As an employer of 9 I know that if someone phoned in we would've let them take the day as annual leave at short notice which I think is preferable. You said you felt guilty which I'm not sure aids the reason you wanted the time off however, I do appreciate that you may not have been able to arrange the time off at short notice which I think is indicative of how mental health can be viewed. We need to be tolerant of mental health and view it on a par with our physical wellbeing. We try as employers but it can feel that swimming against the tide.

I hope the day helped and you are feeling a little less overwhelmed.

@BitOutOfPractice

It wasn’t me that said that...

Really nice to see a progressive, caring employer on here. Being decent to your staff generally benefits the business, it's such a shame so few others have taken your lead laimtomisbehave1

Bitoutofpractice You're having a go at the wrong poster here...

Useasinnertofind. When you have to edit peoples comments and paste them together to make your point it indicates it’s fairly weak

Iaimtomisbehave. Why does annual leave have to be taken in chunks? That’s just your policy so you could change it quite easily and allow people to take one day off at short notice in an emergency.

I think the nature of OP's job has an impact on this. Clearly if her colleagues had to pick up the slack in her absence then this would be more significant (and potentially not ok) but she said that's not the case.

If OP is entitled to paid sick leave why does it matter if she takes it? It will be a benefit of her contract and hardly something that will personally impact her colleagues. Again context of role makes a difference. This wouldn't probably be the case at an SME for example.

I work in a v busy civil service role - whilst I don't normally take sick leave there might be days where stress levels are so high that a day at home might be a strategically sensible thing to do in order to recharge if I wasn't able to do that on the weekend. I would normally take flexi leave for this purpose though. I am also able to manage my own workload so could pick up the missed work as and when.

For those saying she should take leave yes you're probably right but policies will usually require more than a day's notice which OP wasn't able to do.

@RangeRider not all companies allow unpaid leave, my employer certainly doesn't.

Editing? I cut and pasted, I didn't change anything, nor did I directly state who'd written the comments as I find that a little aggressive. I left off your comment to a previous poster as it was to them.

And no, I don't think it's a weak point. Enjoy your sanctimony though.

Oh lord I do apologise @Iaimtomisbehave1 my mistake. It was @ReflectionsofParadise who was being a patronising arse. I beg your pardon. (It's been a long day already at work since 6am on very little sleep - that's my excuse anyway!)

@Dorsetdays

It doesn’t need to be taken in chunks, but it can be. By definition annual leave can be requested in chunks or in single days. If I increase annual leave, but continue with my short notice/same day policy then I could end up with a call asking for 2 or 3 days off stating I that morning. The business can’t run like that; one day is fine, 3 is not. (Obviously we’d have too if someone was gravely ill etc but it wouldn’t work on a regular basis, I need notice for long absences).

If they ask for a few day annual leave and I say no, I end up with an unhappy employee who had expectations that they’d be allowed. By having a distinct policy in single days off for self care/family needs then they can feel safe when calling for that one day off. I don’t need to disappoint by saying no to a request for multiple days because they don’t make them. The point of having the extra single day policy is to increase morale, make the working environment more welcoming, and lets them feel that I’m on their side. All of that increase productivity, and makes them happier in their workplace. If I change the policy to extra annual leave, and people start changing their arm asking for a few days off in a morning phone call, then I’d need to say no and all that positivity goes away.

I get that you don’t agree with it, and that’s fine, but it makes a positive different to our working environment. It also means I don’t owe them the days if they don’t take them (that’s the cheeky part I guess).

A pre signed letter stating that due to mh reasons you may occasionally need a day away from work

Good luck with finding a GP foolish enough to sign something like that; there's a reason why fit notes are for illnesses which exist rather than ones that might do one day

policies will usually require more than a day's notice which OP wasn't able to do

And yet OP told us that she could have taken a day's leave but "didn't think of that"

Why don't you get much downtime in a weekend op?
That's what I would address. It's what weekends are for.
I could understand needing a duvet day if one worked 7 days every week, but there's 2 days every 7 to have one in ops situation.

I did do this myself, just once mind, when I worked full time, so I get it; but it's a really good point others have made - what if your dcs teacher did this, or a doctor on a day you were to have an operation, or a policeman on the day your house gets burgled etc etc and it was recognised and accepted as a not ill but can't be arsed day?

I have never taken a day off when I wasn't actually ill and I think it's dishonest to do so.

If you have actual MH issues then obviously that's ok but taking a day off because you feel like it is wrong.

What I meant in my OP was that I (we) don’t generally get much downtime at the weekends and so it’s not like I’m recharging every week with a nice sofa day and a relaxing pub lunch.

I'm curious what you are doing to not get much downtime at the weekends. This week you will have end up having three out of four days off - that's a lot of free time?
Why do you think it should be your enployers that take the brunt of your busy life.

Women take a lot more more sick leave than men and a lot of the jobs which tend to employ a lot of women are the ones where sickness rates are the highest. Taking sick days when you aren't sick is just going to make employers less willing to employ women.

I think taking 'duvet days' or what ever you want to call them is a bit pathetic. Some People have a really casual attitude towards honesty.

Sorry for typos. I meant three day off out of seven.

@WowCrabby

Those are valid feelings. I guess it can look pathetic to just take a "me day", especially to people who've worked all their lives whilst having to fight to be taken as seriously as male colleagues.

I'm just one business, so it's statistically significant data and the trends I've seen at my company may not proliferate but...
Since I brought in 'mental health days' and 'family days' I have seen a reduction in sick days. The last person out sick was last winter with norovirus. My employees just don't really take sick days, unless actually properly ill. They don't lie, or pretend a cold is worse than just a cold to get a day off. There's no need too.

This contributes to high morale. The 8 optional days make them feel more valued; like their wellbeing matters and they aren't just cogs in a machine. Since introducing the policy, productivity is higher. Output is higher than it was before; they just work harder because they feel valued. So the days I lose to "me days" are more than made up for by the working ethos we have.

They can take up to 8 extra days with no sick days being recorded. Only 1 employee has ever taken all 8 in a year. Because it's offered, they feel that this is a fair and welcoming workplace, and they don't take the piss. This probably wouldn't be the case with students working in a supermarket, I guess they'd take all the time off they could, but in my industry they don't.

It makes the company a happier place to work. If anyone is going through a rough patch, they come and tell me because they know it won't affect their career and they won't get a black mark against them or be seen as a problem staff member. We're inclusive, and they know that. So they tell me when they just need a day, and they work their asses off for me every other day they are here.

My business has flourished, my staff are committed and diligent and produce much more than before the policy was introduced.

So, you may see it as pathetic, but I see it as vital to keeping my business running at optimal. The simple idea of feeling valued makes a huge difference to the way in which people work.

*It's not statistically significant

@Iaimtomisbehave1
You are absolutely doing the right thing.
I used to work for a company that had high morale, it was just the little things - takeaway pizza for everyone during the Christmas rush (retail) for example.
Then they started to strip back costs, a new HR director was appointed who had got the job based on how much she could 'save' the company. All the little extras went. Along with morale and productivity.