To think my MIL is a drama queen?

[gladstonefive]

In laws came round last night for Sunday dinner.

Made G+Ts when they got here, and DD1 (14) asked if she could have one. We said yes. Then DD2 (12) asked- me and DP looked at each other and thought about it for a moment and he agreed.

The drink we made her was literally a splash of gin in a large wine glass topped up with tonic water filled with ice and lemon. I would say it was approx 10% gin and the rest tonic water/ice/lemon. She didn’t act any differently after drinking 60-70% of it. We made the same for DD1 who has had it a few times when we have had friends over etc- id say 3/4 times in the past year or so.

MIL went on a rant about it and we ended up asking her to leave because she was turning it into a full blown argument.

AIBU?

Why would you give your 12yo a drink that was 10% gin? Yabu imo. Completely unecessary.

Wouldn't have a problem with the 14yo but
12 is a bit young though in my opinion

I would automatically have said no when your younger daughter asked, 12 is too young for me. Even at 14 I would have gone for a very week drink.

Yanbu. It is legally fine for a child to drink alcohol at home aged 5+. Allowing small amounts of alcohol, supervised amd moderated, takes away the mystery of alcohol and encourages young people to drink responsibly. Even if your mil doesnt agree, your kids are your kids.

Yeah, I think yabu too. They're kids. Let them be kids.

YABU to give a 12 yo and 14yo spirits yes. That being said, your MIL should probably have minded her own business

I kinda think most people would be judgey about giving your 12 year old gin to be honest, you don't say what she said so not sure yabu to ask her to leave or not

Not that id give alcohol to a 5yo!

12 year olds having G and T? Is this a joke?

So what, that's the equivalent of a sherry glass of wine? Just trying to get my bearings here.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal too.
Spirits are from age 18 across the board, the rules for cider, beer, and wine are different when drinking at home.

I’m with your MIL here. No way would I give spirits to a 12 year old.

I have to admit I’m judging you for giving your 12 and 14 year old spirits. Sorry, but I think that’s too young for spirits.

I think your MIL has a point. There is clear evidence that there is a correlation between problem drinking in later life and being given alcohol when young.

I think she was right to voice her opinion.

YANBU.

Your MIL was ridiculous

It's not illegal but I woudn't give my 12 year old dd gin and I wouldn't be happy at all if anybody else gave her some.

Yeah you definitely have to be knocking back gin at 12 to be a responsible drinker

I mightn't have pushed it to an argument (I would if the child was under 10) but I certainly would have judged you for giving a 12 year old a gin and tonic and would have at least said "are you really giving that child gin?" Don't think much of giving a g+t to a 14 year old either.

10% gin?? For a 12 year old?!

You’re their parents so it’s up to you but I’d have given them tonic, ice and lemon and skipped the hard liquor because there’s no point or need for either of them to get used to drinking alcohol at their ages.

Although I agree with your MIL I don't junk she has any right to argue with you and your DH about it you're the parents. She can judge all she likes, but not dictate how you raise your kids

10% gin! That’s a fair old amount. I thought you gave her a sip of yours, not an entire glass. And I am actually okay with kids tastes of alcohol but an entire G+T is a bit much.

But she should have judged you in silence.

Allowing small amounts of alcohol, supervised amd moderated, takes away the mystery of alcohol and encourages young people to drink responsibly.

well it does in the minds of those who do it. There is no evidence it actually does.

And even if you are of the school that a beer or cider at home at 15/16 is normal enough, giving a gin and tonic to a 12 year old is not even in the same league.

A watered down glass of wine would be ok. 1 part wine, 10 part soda water. But gin?!

I’m 46 and when I have aG&T it’s only usually 10% gin.
Too much too young, I’m with your mil