To think my MIL is a drama queen?

[gladstonefive]

In laws came round last night for Sunday dinner.

Made G+Ts when they got here, and DD1 (14) asked if she could have one. We said yes. Then DD2 (12) asked- me and DP looked at each other and thought about it for a moment and he agreed.

The drink we made her was literally a splash of gin in a large wine glass topped up with tonic water filled with ice and lemon. I would say it was approx 10% gin and the rest tonic water/ice/lemon. She didn’t act any differently after drinking 60-70% of it. We made the same for DD1 who has had it a few times when we have had friends over etc- id say 3/4 times in the past year or so.

MIL went on a rant about it and we ended up asking her to leave because she was turning it into a full blown argument.

AIBU?

You're a wind up merchant or a shit mum

At 12, I wouldn't have allowed my dcs anything other than a sip of beer so they could see what it tasted like (if they asked).
At 14, I still wouldn't have allowed spirits, sorry. Maybe a small glass of the cheapy lager that doesn't have much alcohol in it, or maybe half a glass of wine (and the instruction used to be 'sip, not gulp')!
At 15, heading towards 16, then I allowed a little more - but still no spirits.
And I should add, I was brought up in a pub.
I'm not surprised your MIL was shocked to be honest.
My dcs are now older, and while I know they might not always drink responsibly, (they're old enough to make their own choices, so it's in their hands), they have a healthy respect for alcohol.

Spirits? I'm with your MiL.

I fully agree with the demystifying idea, with a glass of well watered wine, a shandy with lots of lemonade.

This was a shot of gin for a 12 year old. Just wrong.

I am from a European family. DS has always been allowed small amounts of alcohol in the context of celebrations and, later on, family dinners. He is now at university, living independently in our basement and can take it or leave it, having the odd glass of wine at dinner or a pint of beer on a night out. Often he doesn’t drink because he’s not in the mood whereas his friends and girlfriend are always getting pissed, having hangovers, vomiting and missing lectures.

My dd and ds have a buzz fizz on Xmas day or a weak shandy but spirits absolutely not!!!

Sorry don't agree with kids drinking gin

12 is bloody young for spirits - and I’m usually relaxed about alcohol.

Your MIL was rude to rant but I share her view that this isn’t a good decision for you to have made as parents.

Nope, I'd judge, and I think well of your MIL for saying something. It's not good is it!

YABVU to give a child alcohol. I don't think you should have given it to the 14yo either, I'd also find it hard to keep quiet

I'm with your MIL here.

Your MIL sounds very sensible. Meanwhile you and your husband are being VVVU.

I have a 12 and a14 year old and there is no way I’d give them spirits no matter how dilute.
I was just saying to my 14 year old that by next Christmas ( not this one) she could have a glass of champagne with lunch.

Fuck me.

I let my 12 year old have the odd sip of my wine, or prosecco. I certainly wouldn’t be making her a G&T. She likes Schloer in a wine glass so she feels grown up...

A bit of wine or cider is one thing, but spirits are a whole different ball game.

Wow. Sorry, I judge you too. You gave your 12-yr-old 10% gin?! I even judge you for giving it to your 14-yr-old. What on earth is the benefit?!? Demystifying is nonsense at age 12.

Also agree that your kids are lucky they have a grandmother who is willing to argue when she sees a bad decision being made for them.

@MsJudgemental - your son probably isn’t getting drunk around you. Either that or has built up a huge tolerance (like a lot of French people who drink from childhood do). From the experience of health professionals children who drink often having drinking problems when they’re older. It happens a lot in Europe unfortunately.

Gin and tonic at 12? How terribly posh. And irresponsible.

I'm quite shocked tbh.

I wouldn't have an issue with this at all.

The drink was 90% tonic water. So I don't get the angst over it being "ooh no, not spirits". Especially from people saying they'd give a wine spritzer

(And MIL needs to remember that she is grandmother, not parent)

You gave a child that young gin?

Are you ABSOLUTELY MAD?

What a waste.

YANBU these are your kids, your call. I'm sure you exercised caution rather than pouring her a double 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s your decision not your MiLs. Bit miffed at the drama llamas on the thread too- what do they actually think 1 weak g&t will do??!

Another MIL troll?

I have a 14 year old daughter.

For a few years if she's asked for a taste of my drink I'll let her have a sip, I don't want it to be some massive mystery.

There is zero chance I would make her her own drink.

Your MIL is totally reasonable to judge you.