To think my MIL is a drama queen?

[gladstonefive]

In laws came round last night for Sunday dinner.

Made G+Ts when they got here, and DD1 (14) asked if she could have one. We said yes. Then DD2 (12) asked- me and DP looked at each other and thought about it for a moment and he agreed.

The drink we made her was literally a splash of gin in a large wine glass topped up with tonic water filled with ice and lemon. I would say it was approx 10% gin and the rest tonic water/ice/lemon. She didn’t act any differently after drinking 60-70% of it. We made the same for DD1 who has had it a few times when we have had friends over etc- id say 3/4 times in the past year or so.

MIL went on a rant about it and we ended up asking her to leave because she was turning it into a full blown argument.

AIBU?

[gladstonefive]

It wasn’t even a half measure. It was literally the smallest splash possible out the bottle. Maybe 10% was an overreaction- maybe more like 5%?

[MeredithGrey1]

I think it’s way too young, I thought you were going to say you’d put literally just a dash of gin in, not 10%, presumably the 14 year old had more than 10% gin?
I’m pregnant with my first so no experience yet of being the parent in this situation but at that age I was allowed a sip from their glass of what my parents were drinking, if I wanted it. This was almost always wine but occasionally gin and tonic. At 14 I’d have had half a glass of prosecco at Christmas, certainly not spirits.

[Cherulewis]

My sons are 15 and 12 and are allowed sips of drinks for the taste. That is it.

It is mainly wine or fruit ciders.

I hate this whole let them have drinks from teen years.

I am with your MIL, I would judge you.

[Fluffyears]

I used to be slloweda small drink at new year from the age of 12, a few babychams or a snowball or two. I barely ever drink nowadays. It’s hardly poisonous, a very weak drink on a rare occasion is fine.

[Ollivander84]

I used to have Pimms from age 12 up. I liked the taste and was allowed one (half measure) with lemonade and fruit
Grew up in pubs, was never refused alcohol if I asked (which was rare)
I barely drink now, unless I'm out and it's a social thing. Probably a total of 20 units a year

[MrsExpo]

Both of them are way too yoing for G&Ts IMO. You are BU both to give them the drink in the forest place and then fall out with your MiL for expressing her (perfectly valid) opinions.

[Ollivander84]

I should add the reason I first had Pimms was because I saw my mum drinking it and asked to try it then had my own glass, so no I don't see the issue with a tiny amount of gin as a social thing with a meal
Better than being 14 and necking 2l cider in the park

[Jungster]

I sympathise with you here because everybody is in agreement but I say to my 15 year old that I don't want her to WORK at developing a liking for alcohol! She does try a wheedle a drink occasionally but I just say no 'when you're 16' and when she's sixteen, I still won't be thrilled but I'll allow it at home I guess. But 12 is too young. You should be sending the message to her that it's not even a judgement call, it's a physiology call - her body is too young for it.

[gladstonefive]

I doubt you can even see it. It’s literally a tiny pool in the bottom of the glass

[gladstonefive]

This is how large the glass is

[gladstonefive]

,

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

You obviously think you were ok OP, not sure why you posted.

[ICantThinkOfANewName]

I still think you were U even with your updates. Anything in a glass that big will look like a piddly amount even if its gin.

[ICantThinkOfANewName]

*it's

[MsTSwift]

Err no. If this is real what were you thinking?

Sure I read that studies show that kids introduced to alcohol by parents are more likely to have drinking issues than those whose parents say they shouldn’t have it as the teens see drinking as condoned. So that introducing them in the family home theory is bollocks.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

I am judging you I am afraid. Yabu big time.

[MerryInthechelseahotel]

I've never met a child who likes tonic

[DarklyDreamingDexter]

No way would I be giving a 12 and 14 year old even a splash of gin! It sends the wrong message that you can't have a good time/social event without alcohol! I'm not surprised your MIL said something. However, if it really was a 'rant' that's OTT and she should have known when to stop. YABU in my opinion.

[OnceUponATimeInAmerica]

From age 12 or so, I let my DS have an occasional sip of my G&T. I suspect his occasional sip has as much gin in it as the splash in the bottom of a large wine glass given that I make mine quite strong.

I can’t start clutching pearls about spirits and not wine/beer. Either you are ok with children having a tiny bit of alcohol or you’re not. The form it is in is irrelevant.

[MeMeMeow85]

12 years old and drinking spirits?? Seems unreasonable. I would have said no to the 14 year old, too

[WhyAmISoCold]

No OP, post pictures and protest as much as you like. 12 year olds (and the 14 year old tbh) shouldn't be having bloody gin and tonic. Give them a lemonade and be a responsible parent.

[exLtEveDallas]

Hahahaha. God that's not even 5%, let alone 10! You've given your DDs a homeopathic G&T 😂😂

(Mind you, I'd still taste it - can't abide Gin)

[LoveWasAccidental]

My parents used to give me tastes of alcohol from about this age and my own drinks from about 14. Like your dds,, OP. I had to have treatment as an adult for my alcoholism. I would never sit and watch while someone encouraged a 12 year old to develop a taste for alcohol. You obviously think you know best though so I'm not quite sure why you posted.

[EnglishRose13]

Why would you waste your gin on children?

[Ollivander84]

Love - but that's anecdotal. I had drinks from 12 and have never had any issues with alcohol, I often go 12 months without a drink
I could have never touched alcohol until I was 18 and ended up alcohol dependent
It depends on personalities/individuals as well