Bridesmaid can’t make my wedding - AIBU?

[Totempoler]

I’m getting married next year and one of my bridesmaids now can’t come to the wedding because she’s joining the Navy and she’ll be training. AIBU to be furious and think friends shouldn’t do this?!

The only thing that’s reasonable is your disappointment that she won’t be able to attend. Congratulations to your friend and good luck with your wedding. x

Ah lads could one of you not have pretended to sympathise with OP near the beginning and asked for more info, she won't come back now and this has so much potential!

This has to be a joke

If this is your general attitude towards your friends/family when unforeseen circumstances pop up then she’s had a lucky escape being your bridesmaid, goodness knows what bridezilla you may turn into

YABU, she may be on basic training and for some they can’t go on any leave for weeks on end.

What @RuggerHug said
This ended before it started 😫😫😫😫😫😫

I can see why you're disappointed but this isn't something she has done on a wim. I think you need to just be glad she has given you so much notice and be happy for her

YABU world doesn’t revolve around your wedding and good on her for her career . You should be proud of her .

This is comedy gold. Sadly the OP won't be back

Are you hoping to make onto the DM pages?

You are being a petulant child, your friend has a chance at a career. No doubt she is down enough that she will be missing your wedding. But any reasonable adult would be wishing her well and thinking of her on the day.

Stop being selfish and grow up!

Imagining the op posting this on a bridezilla wedding forum and getting a very different response

Aww, no proper responses from the bridezilla op then? All that scrolling wasted!

And yes, obv, yabu

Wait, I've found a solution! It's so important to you that she is there.... so move the day. Find out her training dates, and plan the wedding around them. Simples.

Get over yourself OP. You are being utterly ridiculous and very selfish.

You never know she may be end up being on shore leave at the time & be able to make it after all, tho assuming this is for real, if i was her and found out about your attitude I wouldn't go anyway

Yanbu

This is 12 hours of your life to have a special party to celebrate your love with your partner.
Vs
This is a career that will change her life forever.

How DARE she think she's more important than your big party.

If one of my friends, who I loved avd resprcted enough to ask to be my BM, had found a new career like this, I’d be delighted for her and I’d be finding someone techs to see if we could broadcast it.

What did you expect your friend to do, OP?

I'm going to go against the grain and say YANBU. I mean you're not being selfish at all. How dare your friend, who you deem so close as to be your bridesmaid pull out on you because she wants to pursue a life long career in the navy. It's ridiculous that they expect her to miss out on your one special day just to train. She's no friend at all. She can't be as she's clearly not putting your needs first and supporting you.

just to make it clear and in other words....
YOU ARE BEING EXTREMELY UNREASONABLE

If the OP is this selfish, I do wonder how long her new husband will tolerate her behaviour.
The friend's career will probably last longer than the marriage.

I'm with you op.

When I get married I will write on the save the dates that nobody has to make any life changes for at least a year beforehand without consulting me first.

It's basic good manners.

Your wedding, your rules.

I know you think your wedding is the most important thing that's happened this century but it's really not. No one else really cares about it beyond 'oh that's nice' except perhaps your parents.
If you don't learn to be reasonable compromise then you'll be divorced in a few years.

Why, 5 pages in and no return from OP, are people still adding comments to the OP?!

You can't be very close friends if you didn't even know she was joining the Navy . Maybe if you get your head out of your own little world , you might realise that your friend actually has a life. Maybe you could even show some support and excitement that she is going to do something wonderful for herself !

You could always move your wedding day to the weekend so that she could attend.

A fiver for the first wedding guest to request "In the Navy" to be played at the reception.

I think OP should ask for "In the Navy" to be played as she is walking down the aisle.