Bridesmaid can’t make my wedding - AIBU?

[Totempoler]

I’m getting married next year and one of my bridesmaids now can’t come to the wedding because she’s joining the Navy and she’ll be training. AIBU to be furious and think friends shouldn’t do this?!

Oh I don't know, Batmanthedude, my DH has a cousin ('Anne') who is this much of a twat.

Anne set her wedding date for next year, asked all her bridesmaids, including her best friend who was set to be maid of honour. A couple of weeks ago, Anne moved her wedding date, and now her best friend cannot make the new date, because it's the same day as her sister's 21st birthday. (This is over in the U.S., where 21 is a bigger deal). Anne thinks her wedding is more important, but her best friend obviously thinks her sister's 21st is, so Anne has said 'if you miss my wedding, our friendship is over'. What a charmer she is.

OP, if you are indeed real, it sounds like you'd get on fabulously with DH's cousin. I mean seriously, do you expect your bridesmaid to put her life on hold for your 'special' day?!

Oh come on OP, she's given you nearly a year's notice to get someone else. What is she suppose to do, put her entire life and career on hold because you asked her to be a bridesmaid?! Seriously?

I wouldn't have throught even the craziest bridezilla would think that it was reasonable for their bridemaid to postpone their career just to walk them down the aisle! Shows how wrong you can be! I look forward to many more bridal related AIBUs from you in the coming months! You don't fancy getting married in Maui do you by any chance!

YABU your wedding is one day the Navy is the rest of her life. She would be there if she could that should be enough. Literally after your wedding you will wonder why you went so crazy

I assume people do it because YABU (or even YABVU) just doesn't seem strong enough, i.e. nobody in the world could possibly think this is reasonable so they must be putting this up as some sort of joke.

This

Same reason posters call Daily Mail

Some threads are too ridiculous

God I do loathe weddings. All that "our day" shit

Should be phased out in favour of sensible, adult civil partnerships. No need for meringue dresses/confetti/monster ££££cakes/people having psychotic breaks about buttonholes

God - so this! Really - when will people start to understand that nobody cares about your wedding in the same way that you do. It's inconvenient, expensive and tiresome. The food is shit, the venue is too far away, you want everyone to buy you a KitchenAid, you dictate what people are to wear and who they should come with - it just goes on and on. Stop it. Stop it now.

Have you thought about buying her a speedboat op so she can come over for it? Think ybvu if you haven't offered that?

What? Friends shouldn't be allowed to apply for jobs so they can facilitate your wedding? Really?

You are not her friend. People are not props for your wedding.

You can either sell the dress or choose another friend to be your bridesmaid and give the dress to her.

Just in case I am in any way unclear, YABU.

She's given you nine months notice that she can't make it for really good reasons. Starting times for training are not something you can change and once you start you have set leave - once fully trained there's a bit more flexibility but even so you have to accept that people need to fit round your deployments if planning events. My dd is in the navy and we don't plan anything until a few weeks out.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Op, you should ask for the biggest grip your nearest DIY store sells, as one of wedding presents.

Do you honestly think yabu? Really... REALLY?

Bridezilla of the year award contender right here.

I missed that the wedding was next year.
I was expecting a drip feed that the wedding is this coming weekend and your mate joined the Navy this morning!

Wow !!!!!!! 😂
YABU

Have you thought about buying her a speedboat op so she can come over for it? Think ybvu if you haven't offered that?

😂

Important lesson for wedding planning: no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. People are happy for you and excited to attend, but it is one small thing in their busy lives - it might be heaven and earth for you, but nobody else feels the same way.

I can picture the bridesmaid weighing up her options:

"How the hell can I get out of this fucking wedding? I know! I could join the navy! Bit drastic maybe but if I'm going to have someone telling me how to dress and barking orders at me for the forseeable, at least the navy pays well, is a respected career path AND I'll get to see the world! Ok then - hello, recruiting office?"

Is she your only bridesmaid? I would be disappointed if a close friend couldn't make it to my wedding but it wouldn't make a difference if she was a bridesmaid or not. I would just have one fewer bridesmaids.

YABU, it’s her career!

Why do some that are getting married think it's their right to dictate the lives of all those around them?

I doubt this can be real, surely no-one can be this self absorbed?

ribbon

OP have you told your "friend" how you feel?

What a load of bollocks

Ah, I've found a solution. Have your wedding on an aircraft carrier - so hopefully your bridesmaid can make it. Should be so romantic for you?

A fiver for the first wedding guest to request "In the Navy" to be played at the reception. :o