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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid can’t make my wedding - AIBU?

227 replies

Totempoler · 12/11/2018 16:22

I’m getting married next year and one of my bridesmaids now can’t come to the wedding because she’s joining the Navy and she’ll be training. AIBU to be furious and think friends shouldn’t do this?!

OP posts:
Notacluewhatthisis · 12/11/2018 17:24

Doccc probably. And I assume started by one of their 'journalists'.

Mulberry72 · 12/11/2018 17:24

YABVVVVU.

You do what you’re told and go where you’re told when you’re told in the Forces OP.

Your wedding is irrelevant, except to you of course. Good luck to your friend in her future career.

VisitorsEntrance · 12/11/2018 17:24

How annoying of her. Only slightly more annoying that these people who get pregnant.

Guiltypleasures001 · 12/11/2018 17:25

Unless of course you have already paid out for her dress and extras?

CocoCharlie83 · 12/11/2018 17:25

This has to be made up. Surely nobody is this stupid

Ellie56 · 12/11/2018 17:29

Our son applied to join the Royal Navy.He passed every stage of the recruitment process, which took about 18 months, and was accepted.

When he went for the 4 days induction before they actually sign up, all the potential recruits were told they have to be 100% committed to the Navy and the Navy comes first always.

So if you are due to go on annual leave/planning to get married/ planning to go home for Christmas and something happens on the other side of the world, and the Navy needs you, whatever you were planning is cancelled and you go wherever the Navy needs you to be. It was one of the reasons our son didn't join up.

The Navy needs your friend to be training and that's where she has to be on your wedding day.YABU to expect otherwise. At least she's been able to give you plenty of notice.

Original poster
Totempoler · 12/11/2018 17:29

I have already bought her dress yes

OP posts:
Clionba · 12/11/2018 17:30

Of course it's made up. No one is that batshit. I'm going to watch the Daily Mail site.
@Totempoler - you've been rumbled, mate!

GladAllOver · 12/11/2018 17:30

I feel really sorry for you OP.
You've got to find another bridesmaid next year, just so this selfish cow can have a career. People can be so unreasonable!

PurpleDaisies · 12/11/2018 17:32

I have already bought her dress yes

That’s all you’ve got to say after six pages of posts? Hmm

anitagreen · 12/11/2018 17:32

YANBU. I think it's absolutely ludicrous that after all these years she's only just joining the navy now when you've planned your wedding?. Sorry Op some people just are terrible friends.

Redglitter · 12/11/2018 17:33

You have got to be kidding. Ffs do you seriously expect her to turn down her career for your wedding. You do realise she can't say to them can you hold off a few months til my friend gets married

I can't believe anyone would be such an unreasonable selfish cow as to think the beginning of a Navy career is less important than a bloody wedding

Get a grip and take a look at yourself in

anitagreen · 12/11/2018 17:33

Just joking... YABU and a tiny bit insane.

5foot5 · 12/11/2018 17:34

Why do people jump in with 'reverse?' on threads?
Is it a competition to spot one? It's tedious.

I assume people do it because YABU (or even YABVU) just doesn't seem strong enough, i.e. nobody in the world could possibly think this is reasonable so they must be putting this up as some sort of joke.

Jungster · 12/11/2018 17:34

Wow. This is HER LIFE!!

What would you have her do??

Miss the opportunity?
Sit around waiti g for another?

SoyDora · 12/11/2018 17:34
Grin
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 12/11/2018 17:35

So how long would you expect her to delay her entry for... To accommodate your wedding...??

It's exactly what someone up thread says... You're expecting her to put your needs first while simultaneously putting her needs secondarily

SauvignonBlanche · 12/11/2018 17:35

What a pile of shite and the Daily Mail are all cunts.

stickytoffeepuddingandicecream · 12/11/2018 17:38

What a bitch joining the navy, I second calling up the navy hotline to tell them about your big day and ask them to move her training. At least she’ll have plenty of time to help you pick your wedding album pictures when she’s unemployed 😆👍. This can’t possibly be real???

onalongsabbatical · 12/11/2018 17:38

Hey Totempoler, I imagine you’re feeling a bit battered right now. But I hope you understand a bit about what’s just happened. You got carried away, and forgot that there’s a whole big wide world out there and it doesn’t even know you exist. I should think your friend is gutted that she can’t be your bridesmaid, but if she went to the navy and said can I have leave to be a bridesmaid they’d just not take her on. I expect you realise that now. This is real world shit. The navy goes off all round the world into war zones and places where terrible things are affecting millions of people. It’s hard to get that when you’re young. Your friend has no choice about this, none at all. Choose another bridesmaid and give your friend’s future your blessing without a second thought. Your friendship will survive this and in years to come you’ll be glad you were able to rise above your own needs for the greater good.
And congratulations.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 12/11/2018 17:41

Definitely contact the navy and ask them to alter her training. I’m sure they will help you.

jadfiewahnds · 12/11/2018 17:43

This is amazing Grin

Batmanthedude · 12/11/2018 17:43

This can't be real, nobody is this much of a twat

DaffydownClock · 12/11/2018 17:46

I'd write a nice letter to The First Sea Lord explaining your problem OP, I'm sure he'd reschedule her training......
'Tis a tad early for becoming a Bridezilla I'd have thought, you'll burn out by Easter 😳

Poloshot · 12/11/2018 17:49

It's one of those things.not the end of the world