to say here what I can't say in RL. Feel free to do the same

[BlingLoving]

To SIL, who is married to complete waste of space:

"Just leave him. He adds no value to your life. You are either working or looking after DC. You spend your life supporting him emotionally and financially and he doesn't do anything to support you. He resents fatherhood, and makes you feel guilty for the fact that he has less time and that the two of you can't go out. His constant weed smoking is not healthy when there are young children in the house and the fact that you can't see that is how much he's messed with your mind. He will NEVER finish his qualifications because he's too lazy/stupid to do it and that means he will NEVER change jobs so he will simply continue to whine and complain to you while expecting you to bear the brunt of the financial burden.

And all of these things turn YOU into a not very nice person. You are defensive and easily angered with everyone, including your DC. We all KNOW it's because you literally don't get 10 minutes to yourself and are juggling 1000 balls, but it's tiring. And every single time you shout at him because he's being a dick, you somehow land up being the bad guy.

DC will be FINE without him in their lives on a daily basis. So will you. It won't b e easy but you are not exactly modelling a fantastic relationship for them so keeping around is just going to harm them in the long run. Just leave. Please just leave."

Sadly, can't say any of that in real life as he's convinced her she's a terrible, cruel person who doesn't take his needs into account. Ditto, that he is a poor pathetic man who needs her and if she doesn't look after him, who will. Sigh.

Thanks. This was cathartic.

M
You groomed me and used me in every way possible and because it was in a to,e when it wasn't talked about although everybody knew what was happening nobody stopped it. What you did was wrong. I was 14, you were 19.

T
I married you because I knew you would never hurt me and you made me feel safe. You were rebound after M and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I. Sorry that you've used that against our children for the last 20 years.

S
The day you did what you did to J you,changed a lot of lives forever. One day I hope you are held to account and that J fully recovers.

G
You are my soulmate, my rescuer, my lover and best friend. Thank you for being mine.

J
Please don't take me for granted, I can't put all the energy in when I don't get any back.

O
Be true to yourself, be happy and never forget I love you and my door is always open.

M
Thank you. I love you.

K
I miss you, I love you wand wish things could be different

J
Do the right thing.

I am trying so hard to get things right and I am doing everything I can. You want me to not have the courage to stand by my convictions but to roll over and give in to your threats.
The truth is I am scared of the consequesnces - I know you are about to (probably have) launched a vicious vendetta against me but I have to stand firm.
I just hope that you don’t destroy me and everything I have worked so hard to build.

My dead sister. You are the most selfish person I have ever come across. You have messed me up beyond belief.

My living sister ditto

I am now alone

Exh last year I wanted us to try again. For the whole of the year you treated me badly, cheated, lied, financially abused me. In fact that’s what you’ve done for the most of our marriage. I m so glad our daughter and son saw through that and helped me to see you for the bastard you really are. We are a strong happy family unit the three of us and our new home is full of laughter and happiness and freedom.
Do you know what I never wanted to hate you but I do a bit. Karma has started to get you now and me and the kids are going from strength to strength. In spite of you not because of you.

I say to my friend that she wouldn’t like it if her daughters brought boyfriends home who beat them and emotionally abused them so why is she taking someone back who’s doing the same to her, in front of said daughters and showing them it’s okay?

What I don’t say is what are you going to do when your daughter in law is accusing your son of beating her up because he thinks it’s totally normal as daddy did it to mummy throughout his life?

Of course I understand her situation, but it makes me so sad I get frustrated

Dear El
I’ve probably violated your privacy by working out who you are. Sorry, but you’ve never told me and after a near breakdown a month ago there was nothing else I could have done. You aren’t who I expected but surprisingly I’m okay with it. I’m so sorry for how I’ve treated you in the past but I wish you’d have told me sooner. I miss you so, so much, I’m always looking out for you and especially after the last message you sent me I’m concerned for your safety. Please, please get in touch at some point.

Love ya

PS: my twitter followers know about you too. Sorry.

It makes my skin crawl to know you post here on a daily basis having reeled so many posters in with a sob story for years, quite what someone of your age finds interesting here/is doing on mumsnet other than a huge trolling effort I don’t know. Cringeworthy to see you try to get involved with the little ‘cliques’ here get a hobby you sad hairy hander...

RC

I don't even hate you, I'm sorry for you. You ruined my fragile confidence and I've spent the last 25 years struggling, I just want a job to relieve the mind-numbing tedium of my life.

To everyone in my life

I wish you could understand my mental health problems more. I wish you would ask me how I am instead of ignoring it altogether. I’m sorry that I am miserable and boring. I don’t want to be this way.

Please can someone look after me, I'm.really struggling. I want someone to drop everything, tell me they admire how well I've coped and give me a little break. I would love a big hug and someone just to take over for a bit.

Husband

Hahahahahahahahaha! You said I'd be dead if I left - well here I am alive and kicking and happy .

I pity you. The big 'hard' man who has no friends - only people that pander to you because they fear you. People don't 'respect' you fgs - they know that disagreeing with you will lead to a gun pushed against their head. How very sad.

Most of all I want you to know I NEVER loved you - you repulsed me. And I won - you are such a narcissist you didn't believe for one minute that I didn't want you, that it took 11 long months but I did it - The money you threw at me to 'treat myself' I put in a secret bank account opened by my sister - the sister you despised because you knew she knew what your are.

You'll never find me. Yes I had to change my name, move from my home town and lose touch with people I love. But I hold onto the hope that your world will come crashing down and you're sent to prison for a very long time, maybe then I can return home.

In the meantime, I feel sad for the numerous women you will manipulate and throw aside without a thought. I feel pity that you think scaring somebody to stay with you is 'love'.

You knew though didn't you? You knew that you could get physical, try and control me - it killed you though that you knew deep down I despised you and no amount of threats or getting your 'mates' to follow me if I went out could make me stay.

I pity you - and I forgive you. You're not worth a moments thought

To the little bitch A&E sister who didn't have the intellect to listen after dd had self harmed and thought she, in her embryonic motherhood knew best (and couldn't comprehend that a consultant psychiatrist sourced privately was more useful than a CAmHS referral), was ill trained in MH and thought it was ok to yell across A&E that I was harming my child by obstructing her care and if we left the incompetent, rubbish hospital she would call the police.

Well love, just fuck off because you were making threats and contravened the MH Act. Two drs discharged us 30 minutes after your threat and two days later dd received a confirmed diagnosis of ADHD by her consultant psych - the NHS had done sweet fa for her so we paid. It was a turning point and dd is now at Cambridge. CAMHS again did fuck all like I told you they would but you thought you knew better based on pig ignorance and your own limited horizons.

If ever I bump into you I hope I will have the courage to yell in yr face and question your parenting as you did mine.

You pig ignorant ill trained arrogant little bitch. How dare you have questioned my care in the way you did. I'm twice fhe mother than you will ever be.

You did untold damage and caused untold upset. If you have read this I hope you recognise yourself.

Cancer - for taking my daughter. I don't know where to begin, but life stopped that day.

To my sister:
I want to shake you and tell you how selfish you are. You are the most selfish person I know and you make my blood boil but I love you. You are my family. I wish you could realise that! People care but you don’t see it. You don’t want help yet keep crying out for it. Stop with the posts about depression.. you say you don’t want help but those suggest you do... I don’t know what to do.. you’re making mum ill. You’re not the only one struggling.. just because I seem to be okay. Doesn’t mean I am. When was the last time someone asked me if I was okay and genuinely want to hear the truth? I want to scream and shout and tell the world but I can’t. I have to be strong for everyone else.

I feel so heartbroken that my aunts, uncles and cousins shut me out of the family and their lives. It is not my fault who my father was as a person. I've spent so long hoping and longing to be accepted and I am done with it now. I've made sure those who have rejected me are blocked on social media and don't have my number. I am not going to get my hopes up any more.

Mum

When you left four kids and smashed up our family home I was deeply traumatised and I have never recovered. I have been scared of other people all my life, I am scared of myself because I might be like you. I have never been able to develop to my full potential. My life has been blighted by your actions. I know you feel guilty and suffer and have tried to compensate but I’m not in the business of making you feel better, I want someone to make me feel better.
Dad, you absented yourself from your parenting responsibilities by farming us out. I never felt wanted or worth anything and have crippling self doubt and no self confidence.

I struggle to work or maintain loving relationships and I am lonely. I have had chronic depression and anxiety all my life.

To my mum- I’m sorry, I can’t have you in my life. I know that your reasoning for keep getting in touch with me is that you say you are concerned for my mental health, but please stay away. Many of my mental health issues are down to my childhood and situations you put me in. You have been out of my life for years, and whilst it hurt to begin with. I’ve had the space to gain clarity on how dysfunctional you are, and how wrong my childhood was, I’ve used that for the betterment of my life, I am doing really well, and providing DD with a wonderful childhood. I hope this gives you all you need, go away. I never want to see you again.

To my husband- I love you more than I ever thought I would love a Man. You were the first person who had ever shown me kindness. I am still in awe of the way you can be so selfless, and trusting. I hope to never take advantage of who you are, or your kindness. I am so appreciative of the life you have provided for us, I never thought I would have half of this life.

One of the school run mums- I am so angry at you. I don’t want to talk to you at all. I have absolutely no idea what you thought you were doing. Leave me and my child alone

To my former boss - you are a delusional bellend who will destroy your business by not having any fucking clue how to run a professional operation. You were emotionally abusive and I'm so happy that I left.

To my family - thank you so much for supporting me through the hell I've been through. I'm so proud that we are so strong. I love you all so much

To myself - I can now acknowledge that there was an issue and have seen the damage it caused and vow never to let that happen again ever
I'm also very happy being single

M
I adore you.
We chat nonsense and share cat pictures. We argue over which film is better. We like the same bands. We make each other laugh.

I wish you could see we are made for each other. I want to take care of you, to look after you when you have the man flu, snuggle up when you've had a bad day.

But to you, I am just a friend.
A fun friend, a friend who you have a laugh with but no one very important.

I wish I was important to you. Unlike your ex, I wouldn't treat you like you were second best.

To the man in my life - I have loved you for far longer than I've told you. One day, maybe, I might tell you. Loving you this much scares the shit out of me tbh and I'm not ready to open up that much yet.

But one day. Maybe

I feel like I’m sinking and running out of time. Every fucking day.

I’m crying l the time, anger at the slightest thing and flit between despondency and over active interest in stupid hair brained schemes and new life lans which I never follow through for more than a day.
I’m a failure and feel very guilty as my kids deserve better.

R. I don't know where you are, I hope you're ok. You are in my thoughts every day.
S. I love you, but I can't say it.

to MIL - BUTT OUT OF YOUR ADULT CHILDREN’S LIVES AND STOP INTERFERING

to best friend - grow up a bit please

To those family members that think I am putting it on- there were days when I was so low that I wanted to die. I felt that living wasn’t worth it with postnatal depression. I wish you knew that I had stood at the railway bridge contemplating how to go about ending it.
I wish you knew that I’m not being lazy, I feel fatigued, I want to keep up with my daily lifeand take my children places but most days I can just about get out of bed and do the school run.