to say here what I can't say in RL. Feel free to do the same

[BlingLoving]

To SIL, who is married to complete waste of space:

"Just leave him. He adds no value to your life. You are either working or looking after DC. You spend your life supporting him emotionally and financially and he doesn't do anything to support you. He resents fatherhood, and makes you feel guilty for the fact that he has less time and that the two of you can't go out. His constant weed smoking is not healthy when there are young children in the house and the fact that you can't see that is how much he's messed with your mind. He will NEVER finish his qualifications because he's too lazy/stupid to do it and that means he will NEVER change jobs so he will simply continue to whine and complain to you while expecting you to bear the brunt of the financial burden.

And all of these things turn YOU into a not very nice person. You are defensive and easily angered with everyone, including your DC. We all KNOW it's because you literally don't get 10 minutes to yourself and are juggling 1000 balls, but it's tiring. And every single time you shout at him because he's being a dick, you somehow land up being the bad guy.

DC will be FINE without him in their lives on a daily basis. So will you. It won't b e easy but you are not exactly modelling a fantastic relationship for them so keeping around is just going to harm them in the long run. Just leave. Please just leave."

Sadly, can't say any of that in real life as he's convinced her she's a terrible, cruel person who doesn't take his needs into account. Ditto, that he is a poor pathetic man who needs her and if she doesn't look after him, who will. Sigh.

Thanks. This was cathartic.

To my sister - why don't you come and see me and the kids? I'm drowning but you've got your perfect family and you're ok. You found your birth family and I'm cast off. You have no idea of what's going on in my life. We only see each other when I come to you yet on Facebook you're doing everything and seeing everyone.

To my ex husband - I'm so sorry that everything has turned out this way. My heart breaks for you - the Beryl in me - but you treat your kids appallingly. Your daughter is desperate for your love. You manipulate your son. You put your new life above them. I get it, you hate me for breaking away from you. But I've never behaved maliciously or spitefully. You are their Dad. I grieve for the family life that has been annihilated.

To the BF of 1 yr - you display so many red flags it's unreal. You have lied to me yet still manage to turn it round on me and make me feel like I'm the psycho. You use everything I've told you about my life and use it as a weapon. Where even are we going?!

I am not a ciswoman. A man with a ‘feeling’ doesn’t get to redefine me, appropriate my lived experience, or contravene basic biology. That is just male privilege all over again.

That I'm sad and jealous that I didn't provide the first grandchild, despite being the oldest daughter in both my and my husband's family and TTC for five years. Both of our sisters now have step-children and so our parents are now grandparents in a way and it wasn't us that did it first. I'm heart sore and green with jealousy over it, especially that both sets of parents are getting a first Christmas with grandchildren this year and are excited about it. It should have been our baby, not our step-nieces.

That i like a friend more than i should and wish things could be different

To my male colleague: I know you don’t like me and that’s fine. When I started working with you, you were my manager, you took money from my till,blatantly and tried to pin the blame on me. Years later we are at the same level and I have noticed your moods when you are trying to intimidate me. You’ve also tried brushing passed me too closely numerous times, touching my bum until I called you out on it. You will not intimidate me or make me feel like nothing. I have cried at home but you will not beat me .

To my work colleagues; I am fucking drowning yet I can still do everything you need me to, why can't you repay the courtesy? Why do I feel like I have another three children to look after and why does no one senior bother replying to anything unless they want something?

To my sister; Are you happy in your life and if not why don't you change it? You don't seem happy, I don't believe you are happy. Your husband is a controlling bastard and I wish you would leave him.

To my friends who are always busy; I'm busy too but I still can make plans and stick to them if you can actually commit to anything.

To my Darling M, I know you are Broken.
I see you, I feel you and I know how much Life has hurt you. I know you adored him but please don't let your addiction be the end of you too.
You are so Loved and My Life would be a darker place without you in it. Your Grandchildren adore you with all of their little hearts, I'm begging you to get help.

To my Darling F, I forgive you.

Mum - no I am not fat, I am a healthy weight and you were the only one trying to undermine my confidence on my wedding day. Like everything in life you have always been jealous of my progress.

Also stop moaning about the crap decisions you have made. They were YOUR decisions, no one elses.

Dad - Thank you for finally sticking up for me, and yourself, to Mum.

Ex H x 2. You are both manipulative, and controlling. One day karma will bite you, hard.

Mil - I really don't need status reports on my husbands ex and what she does with my step son. Having said that thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done for us.

BIL - I ever catch you trying to control your wife again I will throw a shit fit and will never socialise with you again.

To DS:

I am terrified that you are going to end up without an education and without friends. I see so much of myself in you. I'm sorry that I don't always hold it together. You challenge me and dumbfound me every single day. You are funny, you are kind, you are clever and it breaks my heart that you don't know any of these things, not really. I know you can't help getting angry, I know you can't help fidgeting in lessons, I know you're confused and scared and you feel alone. I know your impulsive nature scares you and pushes other people away.

Please keep trying. You can do anything you want to do and be anything you want to be. I am your biggest advocate and I am on your team, even if I don't always agree with you.

You will be great, you already are. I wish that I could remove the stigma of ADHD for you. I wish you could be educated somewhere where you weren't expected to be still and compliant all the time. I wish I could get you out of the awful cycles of power struggles and detentions. I wish I could work part time and be here for you after school. Most of all, I love you so much.

Mum

While I love you and always will, I also really really hate you sometimes.

You are one of the most selfish people I have ever met. You claim to be a matre, but all you ever think about is yourself. Yes! Ha! It's true and I can say it here with no fear.

When you threaten(and have always threatened) to Kill yourself, how do you think that affects your children?
When you go from crisis to crisis, how does that affect me?
When you cried about your own plight on MY WEDDING day, yes, my WEDDING day, did you really think that was ok? Why couldn't you suck it up for JUST 1 DAY. Why is everyhing all about YOU? Even on the one day that should have been about me and my wonderful DH to be.

Why have you never cared about me. I was bulimic for 10 YEARS - but you'll never know that because you couldn't handle it. You'd turn it into something about yourself anyway '(poor me, my daughter had this terrible bulimia, another thing for poor me to worry about, I should kill myself').

You make me and my siblings feel like shit every time we speak to you, but we all love you and never ever make you feel like shit. How is that fair?

There is something else I hate you for, but I can't even write it here. Why? because if you found out I'm me and I'm talking about you, you would be devastated. So I continue to keep secrets for your benefit (yet there is nothing you do for me)

I hate you hate you hate you hate you hate you hate you hate you

But I will never tell you any of that because for some crazy reason I also love you, and would never want to hurt you. I wish you only cared about us as much as we care about you.

But I know that will never happen

...

Thank you OP, I haven't done that ever before

To cancer fuck you you for ruining my husband my life and our family.

Fuck you for making me a full time carer to a man who worships the ground me and his girls walk on.

Fuck you for making me a single parent to 3 beautiful girls who have no understanding of this but are fucking angry.

Fuck you for putting this on me when I had just had a baby.

Fuck you cancer foe having no cure.

Fuck you cancer for making me somebody o never thought I'd be.

Fuck all of the arsehole in my life who have it worse you know like the bitch comparing my husband's advanced stage cancer to her husbands manky fucking tow. Yeah alright you know how I feel so you... lucky I didn't dunk the cow in the pool.... I am a lady I assure you just fuck is the appropriate word for cancer....

Fuck you local nhs for forgetting to diagnose him and having me do it.... and giving him the wrong... 2 is better than 4 mother fucker.... doctors who can't count let alone do the job... and fuck the 4 doctors who missed this.... just fuck fuck cancer my heart is broken and will never EVER heal.....

To my husband and baby girl

I love you both so much that I spend every second of every day terrified that something bad will happen to either of you. My mind creates catastrophic situations in which you are both dead and I am alone, and it scares me shitless. Whilst I thank god that I have both of you, I also hate that I feel this strongly about you both. Love really can be terrifying.

To my mum

I just wish you were there for me more. I wish you would help me without question, without excuses, without the drama. I just want a mum that loves me for who I am and wants to see me happy.

To my DH - we cannot make the money we need to survive from your business. However hard we work. We continue to be bailed out by my parents, but it can't go on. I think we will have to sell the house. It has to stop before we go bankrupt. Or, we will be bankrupt.

To me - what is it that you enable him to keep going in this way? You are stupid.

To my ex: yes i know im crazy and unhealthy and have issues but you didnt stick around to know that even though i stuck around with yours. And i think it was real shitty to sleep with me and walk out pretending we were great and happy only for you to ignore me forever even when i text to ask why. Ive never had a single explanation since or seen or heard from you and it sounds stupid but you made me physically and mentally ill and i would forgive you all of it if you just got in touch and explained.

No Jo you are not funny and kind. You are a pain in the arse know it all cow.

Shut up.

Sadly, can't say any of that in real life as he's convinced her she's a terrible, cruel person who doesn't take his needs into account.

Actually, you can say that. And you should.

What don't you understand? Your DM has dementia. Why can't you care for her and keep her safe?

I worry terribly about the planet. The animals. Only elephants in zoos. Clogged up marine life due to plastic. What have we done to what we should have been blessed with ? I don't say anything of this for fear of sounding strange and ranty.I am glad I am old.
There are lots of other things, but I am already teary from yesterday and the memorials.
I wish my mum listened to me and protected me. I love her, but I don't want to see her in heaven, not straight away.
I miss my DH so much I don't know why my heart hasn't stopped like his. I don't care anymore. I drink and smoke with nary a thought.
I watch TPTV and bugger the housework. Exactly when I want to.
Lovely folks on this thread 💜💜💜

To my soon-to-be-ex-husband

You are a bully. You have been a bully to me for 16 years and now you're doing it to our kids. You think you are being a good parent because they listen to you - but they're only listening because they are scared. You are too pig stubborn to see any different. I wish you would just leave the house and leave us in peace, but you seem determined to make the process of separating go on for forever and I have to try to pretend to be sad it's happening. Just rent a flat and GO.

I am struggling

DD, I actually do care that you and your partner are going to her mother's again this Xmas, despite what I say. I tell you that it's fine because I love you so much and I really want you to have a good xmas and don't want you to feel guilty or responsible for me. But I will be unhappy.

I've never (and would never) say this.

To my son.
I told you over and over again. Stop drinking or you will die. I am so angry with you. You broke me the day I came home and found you dead.

Work colleagues, your affair is sordid and tacky. It’s not a love story and everyone thinks badly of you for doing it and for putting your wife and child in such a shit position. I’m tempted to get in touch with her to tell her but I’d just be a mad stranger to the poor woman. I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk like you are a couple in the workplace.

I'm a horrible person, I've had an affair and my DH found out and it broke his heart. Yet I'm still longing for OM and I have no idea why, he is an utter arsehole. I think my marriage is over and I don't want to admit it.

To everyone on this thread

x