to say here what I can't say in RL. Feel free to do the same

[BlingLoving]

To SIL, who is married to complete waste of space:

"Just leave him. He adds no value to your life. You are either working or looking after DC. You spend your life supporting him emotionally and financially and he doesn't do anything to support you. He resents fatherhood, and makes you feel guilty for the fact that he has less time and that the two of you can't go out. His constant weed smoking is not healthy when there are young children in the house and the fact that you can't see that is how much he's messed with your mind. He will NEVER finish his qualifications because he's too lazy/stupid to do it and that means he will NEVER change jobs so he will simply continue to whine and complain to you while expecting you to bear the brunt of the financial burden.

And all of these things turn YOU into a not very nice person. You are defensive and easily angered with everyone, including your DC. We all KNOW it's because you literally don't get 10 minutes to yourself and are juggling 1000 balls, but it's tiring. And every single time you shout at him because he's being a dick, you somehow land up being the bad guy.

DC will be FINE without him in their lives on a daily basis. So will you. It won't b e easy but you are not exactly modelling a fantastic relationship for them so keeping around is just going to harm them in the long run. Just leave. Please just leave."

Sadly, can't say any of that in real life as he's convinced her she's a terrible, cruel person who doesn't take his needs into account. Ditto, that he is a poor pathetic man who needs her and if she doesn't look after him, who will. Sigh.

Thanks. This was cathartic.

To my STBXH
It’s your fault, you made a mistake - I supported you & sucked up the consequences & you learnt nothing. You are the problem- you have wasted years of time & money on counselling yet you have figured out nothing. Your behaviour has created your situation- nothing else.

STBXH’s girlfriend
Run for the hills!! I don’t know you but assume you’re a nice person & if you are you really don’t deserve him. He is doing to you exactly what he did to me & I was in too deep by the time the mask slipped, don’t make the same mistake.

To my manager - you're fucking useless and you're not using me as a scapegoat to sort out the mess you created, you pathetic, bullying cunt.

To my biological “Mother”

You are a complete and utter spineless coward. At least have the decency to answer my questions and allow me to put the pieces of my very early life together. Why won’t you tell me anything about my biological Father?

Just because you don’t want your cosy perfect life disrupted by your dirty little secret......ME! I didn’t ask to be born, I didn’t ask for any of this. All I want is the truth.

To my (adopted) DF

I was 12 when you had your affair with a woman who worked for you, I was the eldest sibling and tried so hard to help
Mum and to look after the little ones even though I was only a child myself. I sat with Mum night after night, and cried and cried for you to come home. I’ve never quite forgiven you for what you did to us all those years ago.

I am on the verge of collapse and I am worried about hurting myself

Floweringorchid not much I can say but giving you a hug and hope things get better for you. X x x

I worry terribly for the planet and wish everyone would go vegan and stop at two children.

I also love animals more than most humans.

To my ex DH

Even after all these years I still love you and I wish you would come back. I wish I had taken care of myself and dealt with the depression earlier. I miss you so much.

Watership drown- you sound like you're in a very similar place to me, I don't get to see my son or beautiful granddaughter 💐💐

To Dad:
Running off with mum's best friend and marrying her when I was 13 wasn't the worst thing you did. The worst thing was abandoning us three children from that moment on. We have never spent any time with you away from HER, every decision you make (if you can come and see your Grandchildren, what you eat, if you're allowed a second glass of wine) comes from her. Your wife is a snob who looks down on us all because we don't send our children to private school (even though you didn't, did she forget that?) She is also a food snob - fish fingers are not the work of the devil. She has no time for us, no time for the grandchildren and she's taken away the dad who built us treehouses and dens and read us endless stories and replaced him with a meek man who can't stick up for himself and has to ask permission to eat and drink. Luckily our mum was our rock and still is the best of the best.

To my sil. I know you have gone non contact with me and it is a huge relief.

To my PIL I see the favouritism, at the moment my children don’t, the minute they do I will be reducing contact. I have pulled you up for it numerous times and cannot be be bothered any more. It will be your loss.

To my husband stop pandering to your sister she is a drama queen and your fathers favourite, accept it, ignore the pettiness and enjoy our family

I'm sorry. I loved you and I ruined it by being too needy. I wish for nothing now but your happiness. One day I hope you speak to me again.

Wow reading all those I see I have very little to complain about.
Best wishes to you all in all your various difficult situations.. you have made me thankful for what I have

To my STBXH, I did love you. You didn't do anything wrong. You just weren't right for me in the end and I hope that if you want to, you find someone else who is ideal for you.

To my dsis:- I know you love me, but I'm not 5 anymore. My decisions, opinions, friends and lifestyle aren't inferior to yours. Stop thinking they are, because I don't say anything, it's because I don't want to offend you. And if I do say something, it's not because I'm tantrumming.

Stop saying you think I'm autistic. If you say I'm a bit, that's incredibly insulting to my dd and other autistic people. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm just not you.

Thought of another one. To E. Posting about being anti bullying and people understanding dyspraxia and learning difficulties on your FB yet you are one of the biggest bitches talking behind other mums backs, actively telling your children not to play with kids who have learning difficulties, to the point of freezing them out, is disgusting. You think you are popular with all the mums, yet you bitch about them behind their backs. Most of the women who become your targets are the kindest, most caring and loyal friends you could ever have. Take a long hard look at yourself. What is missing in your life that you need to bitch about other people? Judging others for the clothes they wear, how they walk, their size, their house, their partners? Maybe that is why you surround yourself
with like minded people who also enjoy bitching. Add in that you’re spending your weekends getting drunk, always “on trend” with prosecco, then gin, and you drive the next day?! Your eldest is hearing you bitch about people, including bitching about people’s weight, do you know she doesn’t each much of her lunch? Your youngest has started to bully other kids with his words which reflect your own. You’re causing damage to your own family.
So sit there, judging people from that social ladder your are so keen to try. Laugh away as you tread on people on your way up because one day you will come crashing down and the damage you do to yourself with your drinking and negativity, your kids with your behaviour and the nastiness that more and more people are seeing for themselves cannot be undone.

To my biological father - You are pathetic you walked away from us when we were little and as teens we gave you another chance, you put your wife above us and again walked away, I stupidly gave you a third chance when I had my dcs again you put your wife before us and when I needed you most you turned your back on me and told me I was no daughter of yours well no you are right I'm not you never behaved like a father to me you're loss, I'm sure if your wife and other kids knew how many times you cheated they would turn their backs on you and you will be the lonely old man you deserve to be

Dsf 1 Thank you for being my daddy for loving me and being there for me

Dsf 2 Thank you for loving me for who I am and making my mum happy again

Stbxh - Screw you, for 5 years you have told everyone who cared to listen that I had cheated on you, you turned our dcs against me and called me from a pig to a dog, saying you loved me and wanted me back just to have control again and when I finally saw sense and moved on you ruined that too, well it all makes sense now it's come to light you were actually having a relationship with my so called best friend for 18 years well as soon as the 5 years are up and you don't need to sign anything you are gone

Ds1- Get off the drugs and get your life turned round and we will all be behind you every step of the way

My wonderful partner - Thank you for being you I love you

DollyDan I'm so sorry to read your post. That's just what I would have written too.

to my D Sis

You are a Liar

You are a Thief.

You free loaded off our mother for most of your life.

You stole from her account when she was dying.

You couldn't even be bothered to come to her funeral.

Our D brother still thinks this is your husbands influence but I know he has nothing to do with your bad behaviour.

No wonder we haven't been in contact for 8 years.

To MS

You bastard disease. You steal dignity and mobility and strength and energy. slowly.

One day you will be beaten.

To M

I last saw you 15 years ago in London and I don't know where you are. But I think of you.

To DM

• it would be really nice if you just once praised my parenting, instead of being passive-aggressive critical of the fact I have DD in a routine which doesn't suit your schedule.
• you shouldn't have run away from me when I had postnatal depression (she literally left my house and went home 200 miles away while I was in A&E in the process of being admitted)
• you should have taken the dog to the vets when she swallowed a stone, not let her take a week to die in agony
• you should probably also have taken me to the doctors when I had OCD symptoms aged 9-12 (checking things in the bedroom for hours at bedtime, touching objects in patterns etc)
• stop making your minor heart condition an excuse for not discussing any of these issues, or anything else with emotional content
• stop making yourself out to have been the best mother ever, and stop defining me as a shit mother to make yourself feel better

I'm not your fucking servant.
Repeat....

Dear In laws, we look forward to having you over Christmas. However, your daughter will not be welcome so please advise her of this to enable her to sort herself out. No, i won't change my mind, no i won't feel sorry for her. After the stunts she has pulled, she's lucky her head still sits on her shoulders. She's a narcissist and i feel a little lighter for having n.c with her.

Mum, we agreed to meet monthly for a meal and drinks out. I know you're lonely retiring in a new town 40 miles away and i.miss you. We've only met once, it was fun but already you're crying off "because of the car". I'm happy to drive to you.....but there you go. Another opportunity gone. I know time is not limitless 🙄

I know I keep coming on here to say how heartbreaking these messages are, but they aren't. You're all incredibly strong and facing so many difficult things. I'm in awe.

Sorry - typo. How heartbreaking these messages are, but they ARE. Which is why I keep coming back!!!

Dear best friend

I love you and I’ve been in love with you for a long time. But I can’t tell you that because you’re a married mother, and I’m a married mother too 😔.

But I’m insanely proud of you at the minute for dealing with what you’re going through with so much grace.