AIBU or has DP been a twat

[Hocusypocus]

DP works nights but came home last night at midnight as there was an issue at work, he woke me up to ask me to set an alarm on my phone for very early morning so he didn't miss football (he plays every Sunday, straight after he gets off work) then proceeded to keep me up until gone 1:00am. He couldn't use his own alarm apparently, as his phones playing up.

I have a baby at home and am pregnant so need whatever sleep I can get at the moment.

He stays up watching TV until gone 2, disturbing me again when he came to bed then proceeded to keep me up for the remainder of the night with his snoring. I then get woken again by his stupid alarm going off on my phone.

He goes to football this morning and calls after the match to say he's just finishing an after match pint (uncommon for him so no problem there) and do I want to meet him in town in 25 minutes after I've collected a parcel, so we can take DS to the park and grab some dinner.

I collect the parcel and go to town, standing about with the pram for over half an hour. I text him to say I'm here then he rings and says he'll be another hour because his team mate has got him another pint, but it's not his fault because he didn't ask for it.

I say well what do you want me to do then? He replies that it's up to me. Irritated and tired I hung up and came home.

AIBU and hormonal or has he acted like a twat.

You've done well OP, both in everything you said to him yesterday and today. You're super

That's actually a decent outcome @Hocusypocus

He understands what he did, and has apologised and attempted to make amends.

There's not a lot more he can do really is there. He will just have to make sure he doesn't do it again.

There's not a lot more he can do really is there. He will just have to make sure he doesn't do it again.

Hah. Or he’s done the very bare minimum to keep OP in the relationship. I know ken like this.

He’ll have told his mates in the pub that he can manage his partner and he’s right. A dash of housework in the house he lives in, a formulaic apology and a meal out and he’s out of trouble. Maybe he’ll have to keep his nose clean for a couple of months. Then he’ll do it again.

Some people are masters of this. They do “just enough” to keep their partner hoping for more. But there will never be more. Because they are fundamentally inconsiderate and don’t care enough to change.

My exh used to do things like that go out for a night out, say ill be home at x time, will be early etc. then he would roll in at 5am and not think anything wrong with it. I didn't mind him going out but always said if you are going to be late etc give me a text so i dont worry. Would always be radio silence on these night and he would roll in so drunk he would start a fight with me. His tag line always being yea, im an utter b arent i because he was a good guy every other way.

The one time i did the same, i went to my friends house and stayed the night, he threatened me that we would be over if i didn't come home that night, even though he knew exactly where i was and when i would be home and could speak to me at any point. Total double standards!

Apologising was another thing i would actuall have to eek it out of him, end up shouting at him all i wanted was an apology etc. Was like having a moody teenager around all the time.

One time that always sticks in my head is when i was very sick, not cold or flu like waiting on a major operation sick and in pain alot to the extent of taking morphine and he had a night out. I expressed my concern as i was having a particularly bad pain day and wanted him to stay with me in case i had to go to hospital. He stayed but was moody all night until eventually i phoned my mum and told him to go on his night out since it was more important than me.

I don't get it why are men so self centered!

If this is not a normal thing OP i wouldn't be too hard, make it clear you are disappointed and that it should not happen again. He needs to man up and be responsible.

Think I would’ve given him a tea enema personally, OP,but that’s me. Hope he does more than the bare minimum in the future. Sending you a virtual hand squeeze

I actually think the outcome is pretty good. He did apologise even though you had to force it out of him a bit. I completely hear you on the cringeworthy parent/child thing, I feel that with DH to some extent. He hasn't behaved anywhere near as badly as your OP but there is definitely an issue with emotional intelligence as with so many men.

FWIW I think you've handled it pretty well.

I worry that he may well let you down again but I very much hope he doesn't.

Harley
Thank god he's an ex!

AnotherEmma Haha exactly the reason!

I'm sorry, but 'so far up his own arsehole he should be reported missing' hahaha. I'm definitely going to be using that one in the future. I'm completely with you op, I would have probably lost my shit though so I think you've handled it really admirably!

You'll leave this guy eventually. You're too good for him. You might not do it now, but at some point you will.

When they say 'I just don't know what to say', what they mean is 'I know that I owe you an apology. But I'm not going to say it because that would mean that I'm accepting blame. So I have nothing else to say'.

Apologies for not being clear - that was directed at "LongWalkShortPlank" 's comments on the first page of the post which related to being shocked a guy went out for a pint or two.....

Really believe the site could benefit from some normal guys' views to give some balance...

If you think you are getting him trained and he does understand good.
I would write to him, belittling you is unacceptable and he needs to know the consequences. Counselling may help but basically he needs to grow up and realise where his interests lie. Wish you well

Normal guys, wtaf are you talking about?