To want to see DD 3yo on Christmas Day

[agirlhasnonameX]

By the time Xmas comes she will be 3. I have her all week and her dad has her Fri-Sun.
I have another DD too, who I have all the time.
Last year the LO was with us in the morning, then her grandad drove her dad through to pick her up at 1oclock and he had her the rest of the day. Not ideal for DD to have the long journey after the excitement of the morning, but worked out ok.
This year DD's grandmother has said they won't be driving through, which I understand, but that they want DD to be with them this year.
I know it sounds silly and I know she will have lots of Christmas', but I hate the thought of not seeing her on Christmas, of her not being with her sister, of her Santa toys being under the tree unopened. And I know her dad & grandparents will likely feel the same, but am I wrong to think that because this is her main home, that she has a sister and because I am her main carer that I should be able to say that if we can't find a way to split the day, that I want her to stay with me?

"Don't you need to go through court to have official CMS though?"

Absolutely not. You just have to call CMO and ask them to set it up. If you'd read the link I shared several pages back you would have found that info. The website has a child maintenance calculator and comprehensive info about all the options.

Thank you @AnotherEmma I thought it was just a calculator and as I don't know his wages wouldn't have been able to find out.

Sorry I meant to say standard contact is every OTHER weekend

I would imagine £10 a week doesn't even cover
your bus fares to facilitate his contact!

I can't believe you travel halfway to facilitate his contact, especially when he is the one that moved. Stop doing that! Now!

Also, call CMS today.

And Christmas is on your day.

So you don't know how much he earns.
Let's say he's on NMW working 35h/w.
He would have to pay the MINIMUM child maintenance which is £28/week. That's £121/month. Three times what he is paying you now!

If you know his job, you could google average salaries for that role, and get a very rough idea of what he earns and what he should pay.

If you call CMO, for a small fee of £20 they will check his salary and set it up.

Also when setting it up, ask them to base the calculation on Dd staying every other weekend, if you intend to go with that pattern in the future.

There’s a free phone number for the child maintenance service 0800 171 2345

I was about to comment on here that first you should establish every other weekend contact and then a alternate Christmas each year, so theirs would be next year since they changed the arrangement. But it looks like you've already had the same advice! Good luck op!

I'd also like to add that standard contact isn't every weekend and a Wednesday. I recently went through the court myself and cafcas told my daughters dad that he couldn't have every weekend as it wasn't fair to the other parent, and the standard was every other weekend. But we also had the long, drawn out process of mediation too.

Thank you so much for the links and phone numbers and for the great advice.
I'm shocked if that's what he should be paying! It certainly would make a huge difference to us. I will definitely be looking into this!
£10 is the exact amount I spend on bus fares to drop/pick up.
I asked him once if he could come and get her because DD1 has an afternoon club on a Friday that we are always in a rush to get back to, but his stance on that is that if he has to come and pick her up, I would have to come and get her on the Sunday and honestly 4 hours of travel with two children, double that bus fare, Sunday service and school night...half way just seems easier.

Even if your ex was on benefits he would have to pay £7 per week. He has got a bargain with your agreement! Good luck OP

Another scenario.

The average salary for a man in his 20s (he's 29 isn't he?) is £478/week. If he earns that, he has to pay £49/week, which is £212/month. More than five times what he's paying now.