Christmas day: would you travel in car 1+ hour each way with 2 young dc to family and back?

[zombina]

Trying to keep this neutral to see if I'm BU.
It's been suggested that we go to a family member for Christmas Day (along with other members of the family who would also be there). However it would involve driving at least an hour each way with DDs (4 and crawling weaning baby who wakes up loads in the night). Not able to stay over.
I'm thinking the hassle, trying to get DC plus equipment in the car on Christmas day and trying to work around sleep make this an awful idea but family have expressed surprise.

I generally also don't think it's fair to make people try and work around a baby's (or toddler's) routine and when they don't sleep/eat when they need to it's just a bloody nightmare and no-one can relax. But it's more the travelling I'm a bit at.

If you have multiple young DC would you do this?

Christmas Day is for opening presents, playing with new toys/reading new books, eating chocolates far too early in the morning and then getting very slowly pissed as the afternoon goes on. If enough people are feeling energetic and lunch finishes when it's still daylight I will countenance a post-meal stroll, but there should absolutely be no driving and no "socialising" with people who you wouldn't be happy to see in pyjamas. Extended family obligations are for Boxing Day.

In my 33 years of life I am pleased to say that I have never once been inside a car on Christmas Day and it will be a cold day in hell before I start.

everyone saying it's an excuse, it's genuinely not. we were originally planning to stay at home but I preferred to see family, not realising the venue had changed and we couldn't stay over because there's stuff in the two or three spare rooms.

No - but then since we had kids 16 years ago we've either had our own cosy Xmas at home or we've gone abroad for a holiday (just me, DH and 2 DCs).

Yes we used to do it every year when I was married and my MIL was still alive. The kids used to enjoy seeing their relatives on Christmas day. Didn't really consider it a hassle, tbh. I went out all the time when my kids were little to various places, Christmas day was no exception.

we'd have to go so earlyish so baby can nap in the car without getting hysterical.

I don't understand why you have to leave at 9.30? If lunch isn't till 2.30 and presents aren't till evening then you could set off at 1pm?? 4 year old snacks before you leave.

I think I'm in the minority or have particularly stroppy kids

Probably, but most of all I think you just don't want to do it, so don't. It doesn't matter how other people's kids behave, what's possible or what everyone else would do.

We've always had big family Christmases with young and elderly fed when they needed to be fed and so on and it's worked well, but that's because everyone was equally invested in achieving the same goal.
I wouldn't have any problem if it was something we wanted to make happen.

The only thing I'd say is own your preferences, don't make children and their preferred needs an excuse for your own choices.

we couldn't stay over because there's stuff in the two or three spare rooms

We can't really help with the other issues at play here.

We’d have no problem at all with this assuming we wanted to see everyone, and I’ve had some lovely big extended family Xmases. But we also “benefit” from kids who nap brilliantly in the car (but nowhere else), so a drive often makes for day easier, not harder.

I would and have done.

baby won't nap in a pram

Take a travel cot. Presumably that's what you would have done if you were sleeping over.

No way. On Boxing Day maybe but Christmas Day should be spent at home

I would - if I wanted to, that is.

It is not impossible to travel with babies and young children. & An hour's drive isn't long

But if I didn't want to go I guess I would make it all sound highly un-doable.

Just do what you want to do.

Say no, and stay at home. If you can't face that well then, go with the intention to enjoy. You may as well.

Why do you have to be there for 10.30? Can't you turn up for midday and have a chill morning? No need to be there at 10.30

my 9 month old would survive without naps, yes, but would cry constantly. I don't think that's unusual!

Baby won't sleep in travel cot.
As a PP has said I'd be in charge of making sure the 4 year old doesn't interfere with adult games, cooking, conversations, etc. making her go for a wee (she is prone to accidents), changing baby's nappy... would be fine if we were there for a while but I'd be trying to pack everything in.

Agree with people that Christmas shouldn't be about worrying where you're going and when but for picking at chocolates all day and playing what you like when you like!

Christmas Day should be spent at home
Says who?

Sorry, baby's sleep is highly unpredictable and would probably sleep in a cot if we didn't have to worry about driving home as well ie on a bit of a timetable.

An hour in the car wouldn't bother me at all, it seems to me like your making excuses not to go. It's strange to me you 4 year old dictates everything, why can't you open presents they take a couple of presents with them they have a light lunch/snack then eat with everyone else

How on earth would it be easier if you were staying longer?
You'd just have more of the same stress ! If baby doesn't sleep in a travel cot how could you stay even if the rooms were free?

Yes, wake up and do stockings and nice breakfast and parent gifts, drive, see family, take pjs and leave at bedtime. Carry sleeping dc into house.

I never like the idea of just Dh and the kids at Christmas as it's just Sunday roast and misses the main bit of Christmas for me - family. Guess it depends if you like your family. We did it every year when I was little so it's normal to me.

Life's too short to not enjoy Christmas, so if you and your family don't want to do it then it's not unreasonable. I personally would much prefer to stay either there or a nearby hotel/air bnb or something so I could relax but driving stresses me out.

Carry sleeping dc into house.

I mean this in the nicest possible way but I sometimes wonder if my DC are the same species as everyone else!

Having made a "nightmare" 12 hour journey with a screaming 3 week old baby in order to spend Chistmas with my family I do think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. My parents also managed to take me and my siblings 100 miles in the 1960s to spend Christmas with our grandparents....(return journey in the car on Christmas Day - so the same as you are concerned about) it depends how important family is to you.

Why not wait at home until it is nearly your baby's naptime then leave. That way your 4yo gets plenty of time to play with toys in the morning and baby can sleep for the journey. Then you can leave the relative's house when you like in the evening, after the present opening.

No. Traveling with small children is not a walk in the park. Spend Christmas Day at home then make the journey the next day. Do you have a good relationship with them or not? That would play a big part in my decision making. By all means go but remember to be fully prepared. And flexible. We asked family to come down here instead of going up there by car.

I would but these threads are always about people actually not wanting to do the 'thing' and getting affirmation that they are doing the right thing.
Hardly any traffic on Christmas Day - sit down when you get there and have food made by someone else - all good unless you don't really want to go.