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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas day: would you travel in car 1+ hour each way with 2 young dc to family and back?

295 replies

zombina · 10/11/2018 20:01

Trying to keep this neutral to see if I'm BU.
It's been suggested that we go to a family member for Christmas Day (along with other members of the family who would also be there). However it would involve driving at least an hour each way with DDs (4 and crawling weaning baby who wakes up loads in the night). Not able to stay over.
I'm thinking the hassle, trying to get DC plus equipment in the car on Christmas day and trying to work around sleep make this an awful idea but family have expressed surprise.

I generally also don't think it's fair to make people try and work around a baby's (or toddler's) routine and when they don't sleep/eat when they need to it's just a bloody nightmare and no-one can relax. But it's more the travelling I'm a bit Hmm at.

If you have multiple young DC would you do this?

OP posts:
redspottydress · 10/11/2018 20:04

Yes, it's only an hour.

EdithBouvier · 10/11/2018 20:04

Nope I wouldn't. Have a lovely Christmas at home.

SinglePringle · 10/11/2018 20:05

Yep, an hour is nowt.

Yewnicorn · 10/11/2018 20:05

Yes I would if I wanted to.

megletthesecond · 10/11/2018 20:05

No.
Stay at home and have your own cosy Christmas without rushing around.

Jimdandy · 10/11/2018 20:05

Nope. I travelled for years and years to accommodate other people. Now I’ve got young children and they’re adults couples with no DCs they can make some effort.

homeishere · 10/11/2018 20:06

If you want to go then yes. If you don’t then no. It really is that simple.

Why not invite them to yours? ‘But it’s a bit far, there’s a lot of us, x or y doesn’t want to’. That then allows you to say ‘thanks but no thanks’.

StripySocksAndDocs · 10/11/2018 20:07

Yes I would. It's his family then?

TheFairyCaravan · 10/11/2018 20:07

No I wouldn't.

Stay at home. Do your own thing it's far more relaxing.

Lwg87 · 10/11/2018 20:07

I would make the journey. It’s only an hour. Presumably you manage to go places with both of your children any other day? And once you’ve arrived there will be other family to keep them entertained? Sounds ideal!

LaurieMarlow · 10/11/2018 20:08

An hour isn't much. But if you don't want to go then don't.

Oysterbabe · 10/11/2018 20:09

It's only an hour, no big deal. I bet you'd do it for your parents rather than his.

currytonight · 10/11/2018 20:09

An hour is nothing. And the toddler will get her nap in the car

cheminotte · 10/11/2018 20:10

I think an hour each way for those ages is fine but I’d set expectations of how long you stay. The baby will presumably sleep in the car so you could go there mid morning while she naps and return mid afternoon while she naps again?
If there’s nowhere for baby to nap you don’t want to be there too long.

Original poster
zombina · 10/11/2018 20:10

We'd have to leave around 9.30. So get up after approx 4 hours sleep, 4yo open stocking, eat quick breakfast, moaning at being made to go for a wee and get in car, moaning at not being able to open presents or play with stocking stuff, not be able to drink (I'm the only one who can drive), baby not be able to nap at the host's house so would need to come back around 3.30/4 or have overtired screaming baby. Lunch usually at 2-3pm there and presents not until evening so would miss out on that. Not sure 4 yo (she would be only just 4 and has been an awful threenager) would go along with it...

OP posts:
NoUnicornsToSeeHere · 10/11/2018 20:11

If I wanted to go I would but I’d probably rather stay at home just the four of us... it’s only an hour. I’ve driven six hours on Christmas Day befire.

InfantaSybilla · 10/11/2018 20:11

We do that alternate years to travel to my family. Plus on Xmas day the roads are usually clear so it tends to be quicker.

Original poster
zombina · 10/11/2018 20:11

It's not parents. I'd love to go to the GPs!

OP posts:
Girlicorne · 10/11/2018 20:11

Not a chance! My family live 3 hours a way we visit them for a weekend in December and have done since dd was born. We used to go to my inlaws around the corner for Xmas dinner but this will be our 6th xmas at home just the 4 of us, dc are now 9 and 10. My inlaws pop up in the morning to see the dc and will sometimes we ll meet for a drink before going our separate ways for lunch. Not a chance of me driving anywhere xmas day, I like a drink and we love being just us 4 at home!!!

SometimesMaybe · 10/11/2018 20:12

No. Christmas is about relaxing, getting settled, having a drink. If I could stay over no problem but not to come home again. Taking a 4 year old away from toys at home seems unfair. Why not have a relaxing Christmas at home them go on boxing day?

ShowOfHands · 10/11/2018 20:12

Absolutely. I would and did do this with a 12 week old onwards. An hour is nothing and I adore Christmas with our respective families as much as they've loved seeing their grandchildren/nieces/nephews. Now people drive to me and I'm really touched that they make the effort to be my guest.

poppyseed2 · 10/11/2018 20:12

Maybe on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, but not Christmas Day itself. Traveling with young kids is not as simple as grabbing keys and jumping in the car!

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 10/11/2018 20:12

Not a hope!

7salmonswimming · 10/11/2018 20:13

Sounds like you just don’t want to go. So don’t. Worst thing you could do is go begrudgingly, you’ll ruin everyone’s day.

Solderingiron · 10/11/2018 20:13

I'd do it if I wanted to go see those people, if I didn't want to see them then no I wouldn't. Having said that I personally would stay at home regardless of who you could go see